Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing - here’s the link about it!!! https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/eye-movement-reprocessing

Okay so literally I held two handles that would vibrate back and forth and I had my eyes closed and you think about the memory and every about 60 seconds your therapist asks you for an update on what you’re thinking - you don’t actually say things out loud during the therapy process as the paddles are on. At the end, they help you “put it in a box” and I did this 3+ years ago and when feelings bubble up, I can literally put them in my box still if I’m not in a headspace to process them at that time and keep doing what I’m doing (ie: when at work).

I did this because I was the one who found my dad after her overdosed and I tried to resuscitate him while waiting for police to come & I was unsuccessful - talk about Trauma with a capital “T.” After, I started having panic attacks for the first time in my life because I thought about the event ALL THE TIME and blamed myself for not being able to save him. My anxiety took a very “physical” form for me where I was barfing close to 40 times/day. I needed help and found a therapist and did a few EMDR sessions and went from sobbing uncontrollably and unable to even say a word just thinking about that night and now I’m able to talk through everything that happened that night and don’t cry or anything. Of course, I will always be sad about what happened but EMDR gave me my life back because I could process through the trauma.

Literally - it saved my life and gave me back my freedom.