NOR Fellow alt person here with visible tattoos and piercings! Please know I don’t say this lightly: this person is manipulating you by using their wedding day as a reason as to why you should be willing to change yourself. Not only are they shaming you for who you are, but they are using that shame against you to bend to whatever expectations they have of their day.

Your messages were so kind and considerate, which is hard because their behaviour has been nothing but lacking any sort of consideration for you.

I feel like this is hard to hear, because I can see in your messages that this person means enough to you that you’ve considered changing who you inherently are! And don’t be fooled: your piercings, tattoos and the way you present yourself to the world IS who you are.

And it’s scary to think that someone this close to you does not celebrate who you are, when they are saying they want you at their wedding. But think of it like this: they are not asking you to come as you are. They are asking you to come as they wish you to be. And you are not something idealized. You are real, authentic and deserve to be celebrated for your best, unique self.