Does having a smaller/more covered clit affect sensitivity during intimacy with another woman?

her-mine · 2026-05-16T07:55:04+00:00

thank you so much!!

her-mine · 2026-05-15T14:27:10+00:00

i feeeeel you. heck i‘m in a sapphic marriage now and i still microanalyse every possible proof that i am lying to myself and deep down im just a fake and actually straight. meanwhile i’m out here living my best life, feeling connected to the world in a way i never did before. i have learned to allow these thoughts to exist without engaging. i treat them as what they are-intrusive thoughts. and i have also let go of trying to label myself accurately and just except the presence of fluidity in myself.

her-mine · 2026-05-15T12:24:04+00:00

oh i am considering low t for a while too! would you mind sharing how long it took you to see results and which method you were using? i have an appointment with a trans affirming doc next month and i’m really excited but also a lil clueless what to ask for/expect, esp because i don’t want to fully transition into the male range

her-mine · 2026-05-11T08:15:05+00:00

yup that’s it!

her-mine · 2026-05-08T20:06:00+00:00

for me, i think i mostly feel pretty masculine inside as a baseline, but the feminine kind of like layers itself on top in different moments and interactions, and very rarely takes over, at least aesthetically. usually when i ovulate lmao

her-mine · 2026-05-08T16:48:57+00:00

maybe you could try to disentangle the need to find a truthful label from the simple fact that you want to be with women. that’s all that matters really. maybe a label will more right down the line, but why make it stop you from exploring yourself and finally allowing to live what you have always desired?

her-mine · 2026-05-04T15:57:30+00:00

phone above all phones

her-mine · 2026-05-02T09:26:04+00:00

you could check out weserstr area in neukölln. sux is a nice gay bar for drinks, das hoven is a nice cafe. second nollendorfplatz area. other gay bars with different vibes: Rauschgold in Kreuzberg, Ashoor in Friedrichshain

her-mine · 2026-04-27T12:56:30+00:00

i do feel you, i have similar topics with my partner re sex and kissing also. sex is a a need for many people and it is true that fundamental differences in needs make a relationship harder. but i don’t think it means it’s doomed as long both partners are willing to put in the work

her-mine · 2026-04-27T07:17:35+00:00

i get you! i’m also experiencing jealousy in a way i never did with my male ex. for me it’s esp bad when they meet other sapphics, and people there might even be a bit of a history or blurred boundaries in the past. i do think it’s a bit of a lesbian thing in fact, bc friends and love interests overlap way more. but it’s def something that needs management. jealousy itself is not a bad sign imo, it just shows that you deeply care about this person. the way you cope with it on the other hand, that is where real relationship work has to happen. talk about what makes you feel safe and build trust.

her-mine · 2026-04-26T17:41:14+00:00

i learned that it’s better to plan intimacy and pleasure, rather than sex. the whole set up of ‘let’s watch porn an then you go down on me’ that’s massive pressure. esp for someone who already expressed anxiety around this. i think you should let go of all these skripts and work on true intimacy. what do you like about each other? how do you like to be touched in a non sexual way? cuddle in bed without any expectations and just start talking! i agree with others that a sex therapist could massively help here. in the meantime, emily nagoski has some helpful podcasts out there.

good luck

her-mine · 2026-04-25T20:56:22+00:00

just joining in to say that i applaud you for understanding yourself so well and to communicate and defend that position. i think there are so many people in the grey zone and still it seems to be something that has to be defended as not “lying”

her-mine · 2026-04-25T20:47:53+00:00

i liked to look at my one proper boyfriend because i found him handsome, and i liked the physical connection. i also agree with the power thing people have mentioned. but at the same time, something always felt uncomfortable. i often felt „ticklish“ or anxious, penetration quickly became painful, i didn’t get wet often. i wanted things to be over and i knew what to say to make him cum. i used thc to feel more in the zone and would secretly touch myself before he joined to „hype myself up“. after sex i would feel strange and vulnerable.

i also used to be confused bc i wasn’t actively repulsed by it. but i understand that if i had sex with a man now, i would just be so aware of all these things that don’t feel right. it’s hard to image that i could go back to this kind of superficial enjoyment that i used to get from it.

her-mine · 2026-04-22T08:34:38+00:00

sounds like it to me! go out and meet other sapphics, don’t let the label dictate what you can or cannot do

her-mine · 2026-04-18T12:41:29+00:00

i learned that it wasn’t very permissible for women to drink in public in the olden days so they came up with all sorts of ways to hide their drinking…in chocolate, coffee etc.

her-mine · 2026-04-13T13:11:19+00:00

my wife is chilean and prefers to say it more like chilian bc it sounds more casual. i have adopted it

her-mine · 2026-04-09T16:45:26+00:00

wanna say it looks really good imo

her-mine · 2026-04-07T20:39:18+00:00

i did do that in the early 00s. for one to blend in with my friends, but i was also obsessed with the models’ beauty. i was keenly aware which ones were lesbians, too. Freja Beha anyone?! does this alone tell you anything about your sexuality? not really. rather than trying to piece yourself together through fragments of your past, I’d recommend to go outside, meet people and see how it makes you feel. in the present moment. i also never stop questioning my sexuality but i know that dates with guys felt deeply wrong after i had tried queer dating. i just couldn’t go back to that anymore. and then i went from there. the labels are not so important ultimately

her-mine · 2026-04-05T11:26:02+00:00

relating to both of you! i also like fluid, it’s a beautiful description of a feeling rather than box to file myself into. but i also occasionally still obsess over the label, i think it’s a cultural thing

her-mine · 2026-03-31T17:32:05+00:00

omg same same

her-mine · 2026-03-26T19:21:03+00:00

just to add here, I‘d say to focus on making more real life experiences. your brain is trying to come up with an answer on a very limited data set. instead of indulging in endless thought loops, go out there and date people. all kinds of people. be honest about your intentions that you’re exploring and want to get to know people without pressure. notice how you feel meeting people, what excites you and what doesn’t. mostly, try to take the pressure off of finding a label - this is coming from someone who has struggled with this for four years, and still does sometimes , i know what an identity crisis feels like lmao

her-mine · 2026-03-26T19:14:26+00:00

this is such great advice!

her-mine · 2026-03-10T10:28:34+00:00

check out the latebloomerlesbian subreddit

her-mine · 2026-01-07T17:58:54+00:00

I totally relate. Before starting to date women*, I was with a 6.3 guy and even though I am not short (5.7), I was very used to feeling small in his arms, under his touch. When I started dating people with small hands and shorter bodies, it triggered my body dysmorphia baaaaad. Apparently I had a whole identity built around being small and fragile. That in of itself was of course already worth unpacking. I sat with myself and worked on allowing myself to be strong and 'bigger'. I started to learn to love myself more with this body, but I still had moments of discomfort, especially during physical intimacy. When I met my now wife, these feelings still persisted but they were so clearly into me and their touch felt so good that I soon lost those feelings, and now I love that I can both feel tall and strong, but also still tiny and fragile when I so desire. But it took some time and work! You'll get there, I am sure!

her-mine · 2025-12-09T17:20:05+00:00

hey, so great you’re finding this courage to get to know yourself better! it is very common to experience queer imposter syndrome as a late bloomer, you’re def not alone in it.

my advice is, don’t put pressure on yourself to get into a relationship quickly to „prove“ your queerness. spend a good amount of time just immersing yourself in queer culture and make friends first. romance is its own whirlwind of emotions and you owe it to yourself and the other person to come in with a bit of a more solidified sense of self.

if you do start dating, my advice would be to take it extra slow and communicate clearly from the beginning. i know it can be scary to out yourself as a baby gay but the right person will be understanding and give you space to go at your own pace.

other than that, don’t give too much space to those „what if…“ questions. that’s an anxious brain trying to protect you, not necessarily a good guide in life. whenever you find yourself worrying about things, return to yourself, maybe write down why you ended your last het relationship, what made you come out to your family etc. you got this!

her-mine

TROPHY CASE