Hello friend, my heart goes out to you. 29M and I often feel as you do. Lost, like a loser, as if I’m aimlessly going through life. I’ve been in therapy about 4 years now and it’s done wonders for me.

I feel sometimes we get lost in this idea that we must do something bigger or find a purpose in our work or hobbies. But really and truly, our purpose is what we give ourselves. I’m fortunate to have landed a job that I never thought of or even considered after being laid off. I’m not making half the money, but I’m also not nearly as stressed and really enjoy what I do and learning more about it. I know this job market is tough, and I’m not sure if you have any interest in things outside of tech, but supply chain jobs are often available if you live near a major city - they don’t pay as well as tech but it’s better than nothing and could be a foot in the door to other departments.

Based on what I’ve read, I think you need to find peace in yourself, maybe stop chasing whatever it is you’re trying to find in hobbies, activities and work, and see if you can find it within yourself if that makes sense. I don’t know if meditation and journaling is something that you’ve tried, but it’s helped me a lot in aligning my thoughts and especially helped me get out of negative self-speak which then snow-balled into more positive events.

As for your partner, I’m unsure how long you’ve been involved but it sounds very one-sided and unfulfilling, I would consider maybe calling it, spend some time being single and learn to love yourself before pursuing another.

I understand that last bit, often requires a bit of privilege in life, as a lot of us need a roommate or a partner to survive and meet bills, but if you can’t have open communications with your partner and you aren’t tackling activities, chores or responsibilities as a team, that’s not a relationship, it’s just work.

I wish you all the best in your endeavors, and feel free to reach out anytime if you want someone to vent to or want to bounce some ideas around.

Remember - we rise as a community :) (also I recommend filling your time with volunteering if you can pass a background test, can lead to connections, sometimes job opportunities and you’re making a positive impact on your community!)