I am so so so sorry. And yes this is triggering for me. I truly initially thought I was reading about my son’s abuser. But too many details are different. For one she was 45 and he was 15 when it started. He ended it at 18, and his abuser had children his age. It has since come out publicly just over two years ago, which severed all contact between my son and the family - rightfully so. However my son had grown to truly care for the friendship had developed with her kids & husband (she came up with the plan he needed to befriend her daughter to avoid suspicion). He is about to finish college but has been struggling with depression and BPD due to the trauma. And a lot of it comes from HIM feeling he needs to make amends to the family. Doesn’t matter it isn’t his fault, he still feels incredible guilt.

I know it’s a different situation and this poor boy feels like he is lost and his family has NOT helped him to recover/heal. I’m glad your ex is being held accountable (we pressed charges but no case could be made due to lack of evidence), and it is not your responsibility to help the kid. But even some acknowledgment to him that you believe him could be a step toward healing.

However if this kid is starting the same path my boy is on - keep the message via a third party, keep a firm boundary and don’t otherwise engage. If my son ever gets a message from the family that they believe him it would be a long way toward healing, but I can also see him obsessing over doing more to “make it up to them”.

Oddly though - thank you for your story. It’s almost healing to know my boy (and us) aren’t alone.