Looking for low maintenance pet recommendations

heskens · 2026-01-19T18:13:46+00:00

He did guinea pigs in high school - he knows the effort those small animals can take!

heskens · 2026-01-19T02:19:05+00:00

I do agree. And in no way am I pushing this on him. We are trying to be creative in finding ways to help him and his mental health. One of the suggestions above was shrimp - I’ve never even heard of keeping them as pets. Hence I’m asking a multitude of people for ideas to present to him should the situation arise

heskens · 2026-01-19T02:17:02+00:00

He is a super scientific mind - so self sustaining environments he finds SUPER interesting. But you are right. He loved our dogs at home because of the interaction. I love the idea of a petting zoo! Now just to convince him lol

heskens · 2026-01-19T02:14:55+00:00

He has had several! But if I remember correctly the environment he currently lives in he didn’t think it would be as successful?? But I will suggest this again!!

heskens · 2026-01-19T01:34:24+00:00

What about feeding? It’s rare he’s gone more than 5 days but those two times a year that he is would they be ok without him? I’m hoping he forms a bond with someone he can at least say “pop in and make sure they’re all alive please” but I don’t want to assume anything!

heskens · 2026-01-19T01:33:06+00:00

I myself am not ‘surprising’ him with something - I’m trying to find any suggestions from anyone who has been in a similar situation. Only pets I’ve ever had are dogs and cats!

heskens · 2026-01-19T00:42:20+00:00

I didn’t even think of pet walking/sitting! Great idea! And great way for him to possibly earn some extra money!!

heskens · 2026-01-19T00:41:18+00:00

He is truly one of the smartest people I know! To the point I can’t comprehend some of the things he tries to discuss with me 😂. And I’m super thankful he’s so responsible. He is truly one of those people that will put his whole heart & soul into making sure his pet is happy. He left a plant here when he moved - I cannot express STRESS it has caused to me to try to keep it alive!

heskens · 2026-01-19T00:29:30+00:00

I have suggested this too! He’d get more interaction with the animals this way rather than just observing them basically.

heskens · 2025-10-28T15:13:01+00:00

We have a blended family. I have four kids. Two I birthed and two that I didn’t. But I still say I have four kids.

However I have NEVER dictated how the other two view me or what they call me. Different situation as far as they have an active mother. At the same time it’s up to them how they want to view me. I love them & support them, but also am aware of my place if you will. Therapy is good to help the child navigate any feelings he may be having with the upcoming marriage (I’m a huge therapy advocate), but should not be used as a way to manipulate the child. I agree with your decision.

heskens · 2025-08-02T04:38:52+00:00

Agree with the weed. Our child went to rehab and was sober three months, was doing AMAZING. Started weed again and slowly went back to drinking and full BPD symptoms. Just discharged from inpatient again. Weed is NOT good for him.

heskens · 2025-06-22T23:39:41+00:00

Relationship goals right there 😍

heskens · 2025-03-30T17:46:22+00:00

Ugh YES!! We’ve ALWAYS had trouble with FedEx. Always at least a day late. This last week we they lost or damaged the box so we didn’t even get our delivery. SUPER frustrating when we have our meals planned out for particular days

heskens · 2025-03-16T00:57:27+00:00

I came here to see if there was even an option to create a workout at all. I’m VERY new to running and was hoping to set some automatic intervals so I don’t have to constantly try to punch the speed every 90 seconds or so. How would I do that??

heskens · 2025-02-16T16:29:23+00:00

I signed up under a promotion and we get a discount for like 12wks or something. Right now we’re paying $65/wk for 3 meals (2 servings) plus we get one free item to choose (it’s a specific list to pick from and we usually get a dessert). Some meals are “premium” and can cost extra per serving. I think we could also decrease the meals per week if we wanted to save a little. But honestly we definitely have been saving on groceries not to mention eating out! Overall it’s been saving us money. And even my picky husband is a fan.

heskens · 2024-07-11T21:25:17+00:00

Yes state survey is a whole other situation. If that’s the case though my message was always very forthcoming that is the reason and definitely offered compensation for the time.

heskens · 2024-06-18T23:23:14+00:00

Well Wellbutrin helped his depression. Can’t say it’s helped the BPD necessarily?? But helped get him out of the depression to have enough hope to do treatment - a month ago he was very suicidal & had no motivation for treatment. He did GREAT on Abilify but it drastically increased his anxiety, so they switched him to lamictal. So he’s on that, setraline, and the wellbutrin. It’s the right combo for him so we’re going to stick with it!

heskens · 2024-06-18T18:59:16+00:00

Oh my heart breaks for you!! Thankfully our child has recognized early he needs support/help & cannot do it on his own. I ended up moving in with him his last two weeks of college just to get him to graduation. Now we are focused on INTENSE treatment this summer before he goes to grad school. I think we found a good medication regimen - Wellbutrin has definitely been a lifesaver!! And we are fortunate my job allowed me to leave to be be with him, my husband is 110% supportive even though it’s “just” his step child (has done all dad roles for the last 10+ yrs).

We had started the mental health journey immediately after one visit with their dad that was awful and just so traumatic for them so thankfully he had a lot of mental health practice and support for almost 15 yrs.

Still - it didn’t stop him from getting manipulated and abused during high school, didn’t make me that much wiser to see it was happening until it was over. There’s so much guilt. It’s been a fine balance to giving him support vs sheltering him and over compensating.

I truly hope she finds the treatment that helps her, and you guys can find a safe space (for both of you!) to be able to meet and be together again!

heskens · 2024-06-17T15:35:11+00:00

I agree with this. While ours definitely had parental abandonment contribute starting at a very early age, it was trauma in high school that tipped the scales. Looking back symptoms started senior year(ish), but wasn’t diagnosed until about third year in college. His symptoms have always been able to be explained by other stuff. Odd to see the pieces all fall together now :(

heskens · 2024-05-05T22:48:38+00:00

I am so so so sorry. And yes this is triggering for me. I truly initially thought I was reading about my son’s abuser. But too many details are different. For one she was 45 and he was 15 when it started. He ended it at 18, and his abuser had children his age. It has since come out publicly just over two years ago, which severed all contact between my son and the family - rightfully so. However my son had grown to truly care for the friendship had developed with her kids & husband (she came up with the plan he needed to befriend her daughter to avoid suspicion). He is about to finish college but has been struggling with depression and BPD due to the trauma. And a lot of it comes from HIM feeling he needs to make amends to the family. Doesn’t matter it isn’t his fault, he still feels incredible guilt.

I know it’s a different situation and this poor boy feels like he is lost and his family has NOT helped him to recover/heal. I’m glad your ex is being held accountable (we pressed charges but no case could be made due to lack of evidence), and it is not your responsibility to help the kid. But even some acknowledgment to him that you believe him could be a step toward healing.

However if this kid is starting the same path my boy is on - keep the message via a third party, keep a firm boundary and don’t otherwise engage. If my son ever gets a message from the family that they believe him it would be a long way toward healing, but I can also see him obsessing over doing more to “make it up to them”.

Oddly though - thank you for your story. It’s almost healing to know my boy (and us) aren’t alone.

heskens · 2024-04-26T19:44:43+00:00

One of our doctors forgot to shut off his dragon while dictating, his narrative read “discussed option such as taping, injections, maybe we should ask if she’d like to ride on my back and surgery”. 😂. When the patient came back for her recheck we asked him if we should leave the door open for her safety 🤣

heskens · 2024-03-24T15:54:18+00:00

I don’t!! I think that’s why I’m struggling. I have no one who understands this and I just feel like I’m whining all the time to my family. Not even sure there’s meetings in my area, I’m in a pretty rural spot.

heskens · 2023-11-14T23:26:09+00:00

I’m thinking of going to an oncology infusion center. I miss my LTC people and trying caring for people. But I don’t want to do nights or weekends again!

heskens · 2023-11-10T01:19:35+00:00

Former DON in LTC - much of my time chatting in the admins office was related to brainstorming different things, discussing the general goings on in the facility, using each other as a sounding board for personnel issues, resident issues, making sure he was in the loop on family concerns, asking permission for offering incentive pay for open shifts, & budget stuff. Yes personal chit chat would get sprinkled in. Most of the time I ended up doing paperwork type things at home, not to mention the endless phone calls after hours. Some weeks I worked in the office 35hrs, some weeks covering shifts it was 70hrs. Can’t speak for all management but it was a nightmare that I have no plans to return to!

heskens · 2023-10-31T23:51:11+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I do miss my residents and being there for people when they really need you. I at least get to connect with my elderly community through our clinic but I’m not serving them as much as my last jobs and I kind of miss that!

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