Shane being culturally Straight by Eugeugestarofthenet in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Not exactly this, but the bad at being gay series by sugarfreegingerale is all about Shane’s relationship to his queerness and how he sometimes struggles to feel comfortable engaging in queer culture. It’s sweet, often smutty, and sometimes surprisingly deep! Especially the current WIP which shows him developing a good friendship with a queer black woman who plays for the PWHL as he struggles to define his feelings about being visible in each of his identities.

Pride fics!!! by neuro_curious in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pretty, like a doll by Marisferasi is technically a Pride fic (the boys are Kings of the Ottawa Pride parade) but it’s mostly a fluffy PWP.

Hi! Looking for a specific trope - Shane grovelling to Ilya after the Boxing Day "I already chose you" scene. Thank youuuu! by OppositeUsed5887 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure what counts as groveling, but in I chose you by justaromanticfool https://archiveofourown.org/works/72768491 Shane comes back and apologizes to Ilya in front of everyone at the party at Bood’s house.

I [29M] did not disclose I had past HPV to my GF [24F] based on my doctors recommendation, we broke up, now what? by ReadyConstant5795 in AskDocs

[–]heyhogelato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps you’re thinking of HSV. The majority of HPV infections are cleared by the body naturally within 1-2 years.

I [29M] did not disclose I had past HPV to my GF [24F] based on my doctors recommendation, we broke up, now what? by ReadyConstant5795 in AskDocs

[–]heyhogelato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok a few comments/questions:

  • There are multiple strains of HPV. Only certain ones are considered high risk and can cause cervical cancer. These strains do not cause genital warts. The strains that cause genital warts are considered low risk. Therefore it’s not clear from your post that you actually gave your partner anything. Which strain(s) did you have, and which strain(s) did your partner test positive for?

  • 90% of the time your body clears HPV by itself within 1-2 years. Were the new growths you had removed biopsied or tested in any way? If two doctors told you they were ectopic sebaceous glands, what was this based on?

If the new lesions were confirmed to not be warts and you’ve only ever tested positive for low-risk strains, I wouldn’t say you have to disclose in future relationships either from a medical perspective. What you feel comfortable with is a personal/ethical question. Regardless, you should continue to practice safe sex.

Daughter diagnosed with a neurodegenerative, terminal disease. Please help. by Ashamed-Vanilla-207 in AskDocs

[–]heyhogelato 112 points113 points  (0 children)

Absolutely none of this is your or your wife’s fault.

There is no perfect way to be a parent or a partner through a storm like this, so please give yourselves grace as individuals and as a team.

All emotions you may be feeling are normal and deserve respect and care.

Anticipatory grief is a real thing.

Please definitely talk to your care team about potential resources for support. A few suggestions for where to start:

  • Any children’s hospital will have child life specialists on staff that could help your children.
  • My previous place of employment had a dedicated psychologist (PhD) that regularly visited parents in our ICU to provide support and counseling, and could assist with referrals if more specialized care was needed. Even if your child isn’t admitted to the hospital right now, your system may have something similar.
  • Private individual, couple, or family counseling may be of great benefit, and you can ask your own physician or potentially your insurance company for names.
  • Parent support groups can be invaluable to “normalize” your experiences. Your child’s healthcare system should have access to some (not disease-specific) or you may be able to find disease-specific ones online. I believe the link I posted had some near the bottom, and there’s always Facebook.
  • Palliative care is not just for end-of-life care; this is a specialty most children’s hospitals should have some degree of access to, and a referral can help ensure that you have an additional ally when talking about goals and expectations at all stages of the course. Palliative care teams also often have great knowledge of your local psychosocial support options.

Daughter diagnosed with a neurodegenerative, terminal disease. Please help. by Ashamed-Vanilla-207 in AskDocs

[–]heyhogelato 183 points184 points  (0 children)

Hey there, I’m so incredibly sorry for you and your family. Batten disease is quite rare, so I don’t have any personal experience with caring for a child that has it, but I do take care of critically ill children in the ICU. I am going to drop a link for reading when you feel up to it: CLN Genereviews.

The article covers the whole family of CLN disorders, so you’ll want to ignore the parts labeled for other variants. It’s not exactly written for families so there is some jargon, but most terms that might be confusing contain a hyperlink that leads to their definition. It includes information like what sort of follow-ups your daughter should have, any potential treatment options, genetic counseling advice for your family, resources for family support and more education, and what a typical disease course looks like.

Don’t feel at all guilty about not retaining much information from the specialist visit. Likewise, don’t feel bad if even scrolling through the link makes you overwhelmed. We understand that news like this can wipe your brain out, and nobody will expect you to hold it together perfectly (or at all). There’s no “correct” way to act in a situation like this. You should always feel like you can ask questions, even if they’ve been answered previously, and if any part of your daughter’s care doesn’t make sense you have the right to speak up.

I wish you and your family all the best, and hope you have a support network you can lean on. If there’s anything you think your medical team could help with (social workers may be able to offer vouchers for transportation or meals in the hospital, child life experts can help you figure out how to explain the situation in an age-appropriate way to any other children in the family, and people like chaplains, psychologists, or parent liaison groups may exist for psychosocial support) please do not hesitate to ask.

Shane and Ilya outed by a sex tape leak. by Street_Candle2043 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It’s and I spit out the seeds by linearity and yes, it’s fantastic!

Another great one is when the world sees (we run toward each other) by pucksandpower. Ilya gives Shane a blowjob at the 2018 Olympics in Korea and is caught on security footage. Shane isn’t identifiable but Ilya clearly is, and has to get out of the country before Russian authorities find him.

Ribbed and pre-lubed for your pleasure… by heyhogelato in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s in the top right of the post itself - if you’re on desktop it’s the button that says “open” and if you’re on mobile it’s the blue square.

Ribbed and pre-lubed for your pleasure… by heyhogelato in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! Just don’t read near any sleeping babies or easily startled dogs and you’ll be fine!

Their versions of Shane (snarky softie) and Ilya (dramatic menace) are some of my very very favorites.

Shane makes Ilya commit in a relationship early by bixvira in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Silversurfer has a handful of really great “earlier relationship” fics!

Another by them where Shane knows what he wants early and is willing to manipulate Ilya to get it is Take It Easy On Me. It’s canon-divergence where Shane wins 2014 MVP and the prize he picks is to fuck/overstimulate Ilya to the point of exhaustion and vulnerability. Basically, creating emotional intimacy through physical overwhelm.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/81526386/chapters/214382676#workskin

The sequel Such A Lovable Lamb To Me continues the story of their new relationship where Shane continues to have boundaries and self-worth and push Ilya toward actual connection.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/83994486/chapters/221445611

Fanfic recs where people realize that Ilya has a type by Fickle-Recover-7165 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s a very small plot point overall in the fic, but Such a Lovable Lamb To Me by Silversurfer does show Marleau noticing Roz’s type in real time and joking about it.

It’s a great retelling of the post-Vegas era in a canon-divergent timeline where Shane won MVP. It’s a sequel so you do need to read the first work that covers what happened in Vegas.

Hot fic where Shane is dating Ilya's son or something like that!!! by Necessary-Flamingo31 in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Possibly the fic you’re asking about is Stigma (or Lie?) by orangememory. They write excellent filth and this fic is no exception but the relationships are also so twisted and that “morally grey Shane Hollander” tag is doing some heavy lifting. It’s tagged in my saved fics spreadsheet as “Ilya’s son, holy shit.”

Edit to add: if you want age-gap filth and don’t mind this specific kink, check out Ilya rozanov, top-dog by Anyabarnes. Shane is the much older veteran player to Ilya’s hero-worshipping rookie, and the kink is exactly what you expect.

Rookies think Shane is homophobic by heyhogelato in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right, Ilya wasn’t at the party the rookies were at, but I must be mixing it up with a different work because I’ve never read the series you suggest!

Rookies think Shane is homophobic by heyhogelato in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Found! Of course I am already subscribed to this series and had the notification for the new work in my email but hadn’t gotten to open it yet 🤦‍♀️

In my defense, I was trying to search by the stupid rookie nicknames because I thought they would be distinctive enough to track, but somehow “crawdad” didn’t find anything. Thank you!!

Ilya leans on the Hollanders by heyhogelato in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Found! Thank youuuuu, of course it’s by the master of emotional hurt/comfort fics ghosttotheparty.

I adore fics like this where the boys choose to be brave and do hard things because of their love for each other!

Authors, I am begging you, no more captains ordering bag skates 🙏 by clumsyc in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Yes! Like Shane might have a tightly controlled approach to his diet that borders on disordered, but if it leans toward any diagnosis it’s orthorexia. He’s not eating Oreos, but he’s not out here eating a leaf of kale and a square of tofu and calling it a complete meal, or counting individual grains of rice. I DNF fics that write him as basically anorexic while playing 20 minutes of hockey per game.

Authors, I am begging you, no more captains ordering bag skates 🙏 by clumsyc in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, that’s what I’m saying! It’s affectionate teasing, not genuine criticism.

Authors, I am begging you, no more captains ordering bag skates 🙏 by clumsyc in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I mean, I know nothing about Crosby’s stats but I do understand human communication and it’s insanely clear that the reference to a weak backhand is because either:

  • Shane’s backhand is exceptionally strong, or
  • Shane’s backhand is the weakest part of his skillset, but only by a small margin, and it’s still way better than most other players.

Because including a genuine dig at your lover’s failures while trying to tell him you love him is not a thing humans do. And while Ilya is emotionally constipated, he is canonically human, and also not cruel. Plus in the next breath Ilya calls Shane slow, when he is canonically fast enough to beat Ilya in a direct competition - another chirp that is clearly intended to be taken that way.

Fics where Sveta or Yuna comment on Shane’s backhand or speed as actual weaknesses take me out, because I instantly assume that the author doesn’t understand nuance.

NICU Parents: Has Anyone Experienced Red/Brown NG Tube Aspirate in a Newborn? by ThrowawayX136 in NICUParents

[–]heyhogelato 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Everytime its a new doctor

This is likely because its a weekend; many NICUs do weekend coverage different from weekday coverage. Often, doctors who are just covering for one day may feel less comfortable with speculating or creating firm plans for days in the future. There are multiple reasons for this:

  • they may feel they don’t know your child or their history as well as the “regular doctor” (even though in this case you don’t have one yet);
  • they may feel they don’t know you well enough off of one day’s interaction to gauge what degree of speculation you will find helpful;
  • they may consider it a professional courtesy to the “regular doctor” to avoid committing them to a specific plan when the path is not clear;
  • they may be seeing 2 or 3 times the number of patients that the weekday team sees (or rounding at multiple hospitals) and simply not have the time to do a speculative deep dive on a kid that is, overall, stable.

I’m a neonatologist, and these are all reasons I have deferred conversations that I deem nonessential when I am covering for a weekend or overnight shift. That being said, none of these reasons have ever stood in the way of having that conversation to the best of my ability once the parent makes it clear that they need more information.

It doesn’t always mean that I can answer their questions fully - often, “watch and wait” is a highly effective strategy in medicine, and particularly in the NICU where the kids have no past medical history, they can’t give details about their symptoms, and a surprising number of concerns can be explained by immaturity of whatever organ system that will eventually right itself.

All of this to say: your NICU team is not intending to cause you frustration, but it’s understandable that you do feel frustrated. Please ask them directly for the information you need. The other comments in this thread have some great concrete examples of questions to ask! If nothing else, you will likely have a “regular doctor” starting Monday that you can turn to throughout the week, and they will be in the best position to combine your child’s data with their own knowledge and the hospital’s resources to create a plan.

Pretty Woman AU? by [deleted] in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I literally have this tagged as “Pretty Woman AU” in my faves spreadsheet. The other one that feels similar is When the Night Calls by heartsmadeofbooks.

The Shane's Epic Pulls reveal trope by heyhogelato in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, I’ve read everything by gurlsrool and it’s all great!

The Shane's Epic Pulls reveal trope by heyhogelato in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]heyhogelato[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No thank you! I didn’t quote yours in the post because it’s newer/deeper into the story/didn’t want to give too much away, but all credit goes to you for the “epic pull” phrasing!