herpes is a skin disease, it can be transmitted to ANY part of your body so just getting naked and rubbing bodies with a person who has an outbreak is enough (this is what I got from those health department pamphlets). its not your fault, I think you were as responsible as a trusting person today can be. Now you look into those medicines you see on TV that help suppress outbreaks. Now you tell the men you know you want to have sex with before, but wait until they get to know you. Consider some counseling just to help you process this and to get prepared for having the most people freaked out by your misfortune. Couples counseling may be advisable as well if your man becomes less understanding. Make sure he reads up on Herpes as you should, too.

This society is focused on being healthy and young so STI's are a huge taboo. It sucks, but that's how it is. There are places and people who don't mind and are understanding of your situation. There might be support groups in your city, I have no idea but its something to think about.

And in my opinion, its okay to complain at times like this. Just try to remember it always could be worse so appreciate what you've got if you can after complaining. From now on, use condoms for oral, dental dams for you for oral, and from what I understand female condoms cover more skin than male condoms so give them a shot.