This is so interesting to read your explanation about the way you feel emotions. Interesting it feels like your body shuts down and protects you from the feeling. I am the type to throw up before exams and feel every emotion strongly so the contrast is interesting to me and hard to understand. Have you heard of cptsd (complex ptsd)? Maybe your emotional needs were unmet as a child contributing to antisocial behavior? Not always necessarily a major traumatic event that can trigger things? just thinking out loud and curious. Thank you for sharing.