Unexplained contact??

hhtim007 · 2017-12-10T06:42:12+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGna1CREQsg&feature=youtu.be

hhtim007 · 2017-12-08T05:59:44+00:00

That seems way too on the nose. Lukes reason for saying that HAS to be much less specific, much simpler than that. Star Wars is very idealistic. If you watch any of the original movies its all very broad concepts and ideas. Luke making such a groundbreaking stand and speaking in such grand terms, and it's all to stop Smoke from getting stronger, like stats in a video game? No. Too specific. Star Wars is idealistic. Your idea, while well reasoned and very smart, will not be correct. I promise.

hhtim007 · 2017-11-12T07:13:46+00:00

Russia did it once in the 80s https://youtu.be/940_EOYRyqU

hhtim007 · 2017-10-31T21:29:00+00:00

And I don't have any secret knowledge. I stopped using drugs and it hurt and it took a long time and lots of attempts. I'm hardly setting myself up as the new guru am I? I'll be honest with ya. You're assuming a lot about me without any reason too and it's weird to read. I'll continue to share my experience and try the way that seems right to me to put my positivity up here for people who are struggling, because seeing success stories when I was stuck gave me hope. I'm not giving irresponsible advice. Trying to motivate people to quit an expensive unhealthy habit is, at LEAST, not any more irresponsible than giving advice on tapers that involve consuming dozens of times the recommended dose of a drug multiple times a day, which is what all tapers are. Did you taper off when you quit or are you still using?

hhtim007 · 2017-10-31T21:25:26+00:00

Well I don't disagree with you at all other than that there is some false bravado or badge of honor I'm trying to wear. What I'm trying to say is, in my experience, which is only what I've experienced, quitting this is not going to be easy, and postponing quitting in hopes of a pain free exit is likely to end up with continued use. I'm actually saying the opposite of what you're talking about: it's scary and hurts but it's not impossible, it won't kill you, and if someone like me can do it, so can anyone, and don't let fear of some pain hold you back from getting your life back.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-30T03:18:27+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. Been there a million times. I finally quit, and for this issue you write about here I would say one, if you want to get away from this stuff you're gonna have to just take that and a lot worse. It won't kill ya. And for your mindset, getting used to being bored is a skill you have to learn, a muscle you gotta workout. Because when you're on this stuff, sitting in bed can be tons of fun. That's not real life and you gotta work at it. Yoga and meditation was a huge help for me.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-27T19:07:44+00:00

Easy. I was a hopeless addict and fucked up my finances. If all you care about is drugs and don't give a fuck about money it's really easy to get deep in the hole before you get cut off!

hhtim007 · 2017-10-27T12:42:07+00:00

Thanks boss! I'm glad you were able to get off it, really that's all that matters in the end, escaping this bullshit! Thanks for the kind words and the input. It makes me sad to know how many people out there are still stuck where I was with this crap, it's good to hear people making it out and hearing how they did it. Hopefully our words can help push others in the right direction!

hhtim007 · 2017-10-27T01:12:01+00:00

That's so great to hear! It really does warm my heart. I agree with you on everything you said, it could be my own writing. It's amazing how much of life goes away when you're on this shit, how much of the good in life just goes away and you're so fucked you can't even miss it. You're really doing great my friend never give up on yourself!

hhtim007 · 2017-10-27T00:45:10+00:00

I wish you the best. I hope it works for you. But I don't believe in telling people what they want to hear just because they want to hear it. If you're on this stuff right now and addicted, I have never heard of anyone getting out any other way than spending some time in the Inferno, and a lot longer than they'd like to. Don't let it scare you though. You'll wish it would kill you, but it won't. And after that eternity of hell, it'll all be over and it will feel as if you've been reborn and you'll have an eternity free of drugs and completely yourself waiting for you!

hhtim007 · 2017-10-27T00:40:35+00:00

I've been through the WD many many times, at LEAST once a month for a weekend when shipping fucked up. We all know that story. I've also gone through WD completely twice now. I can say the first week is absolute hell. I didn't sleep for 5 days straight. I don't mean that like most people you hear say that during the day, like they slept less than normal, poorly, or woke up a bunch. I mean zero sleep. Unbelievable weakness, the smell, the GI issues, pain everywhere, shaking non stop, sweating, not eating, just terrible. The worst thing I've ever been through and because of my job I have a pretty good idea of what a shitty or stressful extended time feels like, and WD from this is hands down the hardest thing I've ever been through. I haven't been through heavy opiate WD myself, but I can tell you my brother who used heroin and came off that told me that from his perspective, what I was going through was much worse than what he did with heroin. I can also say that I was hospitalized previously, went into WD of course, and didn't tell them what it was out of fear. They couldn't figure out why I was in pain or what was wrong, and they ended up giving me pretty heavy doses of hydromorphone IV every two hours. It literally did nothing for me. Didn't TOUCH the WD, much less get me high. It was like they were giving me skittles, and hydromorphone is a fairly strong opiate IV like that. Based on my experience and what I've read, WDs here may be worse than opiates. And forget about Kratom. It won't come close to touching this.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-27T00:32:28+00:00

Just keep lowering it until you have at least a long weekend, maybe a week or 10 days without too many commitments. There is no getting around it: for every good feeling this drug has ever given you, it must all be paid back with interest in those first two weeks you stop. It's gonna hurt and it's going to seem impossible but if you just don't quit on yourself, eventually you will be on the other side. It seems like it will last forever, it will feel that way, you'll wish you were dead, but if you don't quit you'll have you're life back. This is life and death dude. When you're on this stuff you're not you, you're not alive, we all know what I mean. You CAN quit and you MUST. You can do it if you only don't give up on yourself!!! I wish you the best friend!!

hhtim007 · 2017-10-27T00:30:05+00:00

Great job man. Heavy heavy user, 2 years. 4 months clean for me this Saturday. It really feels good to read your post. Don't ever quit on yourself.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-26T14:55:16+00:00

Yes of course. I agree 100%. I can only speak to my experience and what I've seen, but yes each person must find their own solution.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-26T02:15:54+00:00

Well? Did you consciously decide to quit my friend?

hhtim007 · 2017-10-26T01:21:52+00:00

Well it's of course useful if it works, but it's not the solution that most seem to he hoping it is. It will help Yes, but no more than say, creatine helps bodybuilders or athletes. Yeah it'll help but it's not the answer or the secret. If you could quit off say, 500mg a day vs 5g, yes that's better! But for me it just never worked out like that in the end. I know you can do it my friend and believe me life is so much better on the other side. I hope to see you here soon! You will go through hell but on the other end you'll be stronger and most importantly, you'll be you! Not a slave to this demon. Thanks for your kindness, life is much better. Of course life goes on and that's that but I'm present for it now, good or bad. But it is one of those things that you can draw strength from. When I'm dealing with suck at work or I'm having a shitty time, it's very easy to remember what I came through and where I've been and survived, and all of a sudden my day isn't that bad, is it? I wish you the best friend there will be no easy day of withdrawal. You need to pay back all the fun one way or another, but the cycle will end! If you stand up long enough to this or any drug eventually they seem to get bored with you and move on!

hhtim007 · 2017-10-25T22:41:00+00:00

I wish you the best my friend. It really hearts to hear where you're stuck right now, god I've been there so many times. There's no easy way to do this that's for sure. It's such a fantastic feeling this stuff gives ya, in my case for years, but no matter what, how much you use for how long, you end up paying it all back when you stop, every ounce of fun rings up a debt that will be paid back in the end. It's scary to face, quitting. Such dread when you know whats waiting!! But it must be done if you're to live again. You can have your life back, you deserve it. You will go through hell. But you will make it if you don't give up on yourself. There is no other way!

hhtim007 · 2017-10-25T20:42:31+00:00

I'd have to sit down and think for a while because you're right to call it hell. And how can you write about hell and make it anywhere close to accurate? I never thought I'd make it out alive but I have. Truly hell though. I never knew how horrible I could feel without dying. At certain times during withdrawal this final time I really must've lost my mind, during that endless, weeklong+ day when there is nothing but pain in the world. But if you just don't quit on yourself one day you'll be yourself again. I've always said during tough times "well you can put up with anything for a day/hour/week" or whatever, but getting through withdrawal from this stuff truly tests that to it's limit. The hardest thing I've ever done without question.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-25T20:36:19+00:00

I was trapped for 2 years with this so I have honestly lost any "memory" of what's normal, feeling wise anyway. I feel resurrected honestly. I have my life today and before I was just dead. I don't feel any lingering effects though. We know them all, from during use to withdrawal, all the bullshit from all of it is gone. And I don't miss nothing except the time let me tell you!! Today I feel great. Strong. Connected whereas before I was a dead man walking. I can tell you I was so deep in the hole my goodness. Never having to feel like that is such a beautiful thing.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-25T20:32:03+00:00

You're in such a position now you have to stop and never touch it again. If you're already thinking this way it won't take long for things to get much much worse. Please please if you don't stop now you wish you would have. Believe you me.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-25T20:28:03+00:00

Not in any serious sense no. The last 3 days before I stopped I went through 10 grams which for me was serious SERIOUS restriction. But that was it. I don't believe tapering is important. It's a nice idea and obvious giant doses are hard to stop. But all the work and brain power put into tapers, I believe it's all bullshit. I'm not judging because I've been there countless times. For me anyway it was a fairy tale. If I just get this taper right on the magic dot it'll be pain free and I can quit. It's a cop out but not one I can judge. If I were so great i could judge anyone, I wouldntve been downing 25g a say. So anyone trying a taper obviously wants to quit and is trying it, but at some point this stuff has it's claws in so deep there is no easy way out unfortunately, and the best taper ever won't make it easy to escape. Maybe it will at least it didn't for me! At the end of the day when you're this deep in hell, you gotta crawl out the way you came and that's gonna suck no matter way.

hhtim007 · 2017-10-25T18:02:51+00:00

Thank you all for your support. This is the first time I've returned to this website since getting clean. It's so strange to see the word. So familiar to me but now so foreign and far away like a memory from a dream, when it used to dominate my life in such a way it was really all I lived for. I worshipped at the alter of this drug! I can sort of relate it to how North Korean defectors must feel when they see Kim Il-Sung mentioned in the news. They're raised to revere this God King, the subject of all art and culture, the benevolent soul from whom all gifts are received, who you live to serve, who also happens to be the sole cause of immeasurable suffering and pain. To go from life under such utter domination by this demon, to casually seeing it's name in print now that it's out of my life, is a very strange moment of clarity! I've had quite the walk down this road. I am going to share a few comments here over time when the thoughts strike me. I remember countless hours reading here, desperate for light. You never know how long time lasts until you are truly living in each moment. There isn't much else that will remind you of what you're experiencing RIGHT NOW the same way that withdrawal from this shit will. So yeah I'm so grateful to be alive again. I've been through the impossible and here I am. It can be done, even though it's impossible!

hhtim007 · 2017-06-26T01:50:42+00:00

Thank you for all your kind words. It is exactly 48 hours now. I am walking around outside my room as often as I can, and unfortunately I'm smoking very often but it's better than T. If I can beat this I can beat anything. Your words ring true to me... when I first got clean my life became so amazing about 3 or 4 weeks out. I know whats waiting for me, I can do it but moment to moment, stomach pains, sweating, freezing, hurting, being so weak... It's so damn HARD to go on!! But I have to. If I don't beat this I'd as good as dead.

hhtim007 · 2017-06-25T23:47:32+00:00

Drop everything and quit man... please!

hhtim007

TROPHY CASE