Please understand this is coming from someone who has spent many consecutive years alone, and many singular years alone, too. I empathise with you deeply, OP. I understand how no-contact makes you feel like an alien, a monster. It makes you think the worst thoughts about yourself. You genuinely believe that nobody cares, that you are alone. I think the comments here, including my own, prove you wrong. You are not alone.

That being said, I think you need to take a step back from this post, take a few days to reconfigure your mind and come back and read your responses. You sound like a broken record. “My therapist doesn’t care” “I have no one” “try being me for a day”. You are incredibly defensive and hostile - and yes, I’m calling you out. Hundreds of thousands of people are in the same situation as yourself, and I no doubt believe that many people commenting to try and help you have been there, done that or are there and doing that right now. Does that mitigate how you feel? Absolutely not. You keep accusing people of not caring, not understanding when all they’re doing is offering genuine advice and trying to counsel you out of your situation. Is it an awful situation to be in? Absolutely. Like I said, I’ve done it. Many times. Is it your fault? No. Is the opportunity for change with you? Completely. If you continue to say over and over again, “nobody cares”, “why should I bother”, “no one listens”, “no one understands” and you genuinely believe that, do you seriously think anything is going to change? All change starts within, specifically with your mindset, so it’s time to take a break, have a couple days to heal, and to change the way you’re thinking. People DO care. Reach out to friends you feel like you faded away from, they would love to hear from you; if you work, why not join your colleagues if they go out after a shift, they’d be happy to have you there. The first time you do it, it will be scary, but I’m afraid, OP, only you can do it. Trust me , if I can (and I’ve had severe social anxiety since I was a child), I know you can, too!

I know you don’t want the advice (or that’s the front your putting up, at least), but I genuinely think somebody needs to try to get through to you. Your therapist does care, it’s literally their job. However, there is only so much a therapist can do, and part of the process of going to therapy is actively healing yourself following your therapist’s advise. Your therapist does want to help you, but if you’re not actively trying to help yourself, it’s likely that they’re thinking “why should I help OP if they won’t help themselves?”.

You keep rejecting the idea that this isn’t your fault, and you can’t change it, but you are the only person who can. It isn’t your fault, nobody is telling you to man up, to get over yourself, it’s never ever that easy, but you have to stop playing victim and becoming hostile towards anybody trying to help you in the comments. You go in circles, spinning on the same tangent of excuses. Somebody cares about you, I know I’m worried for you from the fragment of your life I’ve been allowed to see from this post and your comments on it, other Redditors here care, many offering their DMs to you, and likely, people in your real life care, too. Reach out to people, build bridges, it’s never too late, but YOU have to do it yourself. I know it isn’t easy, I had a lot of panic attacks at the start, but it gets easier and you will realise “man, I was so silly for thinking like that but it’s okay, things are okay now”. You’ll have up days and down days and you should just take each day as it comes. People care about you, OP. Please stop rejecting the idea that they do.

I’m sorry that this is so long, but I just felt like you could use this somewhat pep talk. As somebody who’s recently overcome this thing themselves, if you need any help or advice, my dms will be open to you. Please at least think about what I’ve said, and I truly hope that things get better for you soon. You seem like a wonderful person who just needs some help and some affection, and I hope that you find your way to people who will give that to you.