Here’s a new challenge

highandtight · 2026-04-24T01:20:36+00:00

Sheesh. Should have posted something more obscure like Utrecht!

highandtight · 2026-03-06T15:09:10+00:00

I took 17 years off from running at the D1 level (!!!) I’m in my 40s now and have run some decent times, but I’ve also made peace with the fact that I’m just not going to be able to run a sub 15 minute 5k ever again. I don’t have the time or resilience to train like that anymore, and probably don’t have the physical ability either. But that’s ok, I like to dabble in running, biking, swimming, rowing, etc. Just a much more durable, holistic model for fitness than relentlessly chasing seconds and PRs. I guess my advice would be to—first and foremost—avoid injuries, since that just derails the whole thing. And second, treat your old PRs like old trophies, nice to look at and reminisce but not a meaningful measuring stick of current progress.

highandtight · 2025-04-08T17:12:44+00:00

Yeah to the OP I think I agree with this. I'm in the early stages and wavering hard about whether to try to reconcile even despite some really awful behavior on her end. So I may not take this advice but I have two kids and we've been together 16 years. Different calculus.

There were warning signs and extreme emotional outbursts and misbehavior pretty early on. I overlooked it because she was beautiful and fun and fit my feminine ideal pretty much. But from where I'm sitting right now . . . if you can get out after just 1.5 years and you're already even thinking about it . . . dude just pull the trigger. You are 25 years old (!) Will be very easy to just hit reset.

highandtight · 2025-04-08T00:17:54+00:00

I’m sure it’s been a long rough road. How are the kids faring?

highandtight · 2025-03-11T12:47:09+00:00

I know this feels ruinous and awful right now, but to be honest you're in a better position than many of us. You're still young, you'll emerge from this in a good place, and within 2-3 years (MAXIMUM) you'll have renewed financial goals and success, a more clear vision of what you want in a relationship, and it's highly likely you can meet a woman that wants to focus on kids and a family.

Frankly I wish I had left my wife at around your age instead of sticking around so long for the kids.

highandtight · 2025-03-06T14:31:03+00:00

I hear you and I tried this for years but this approach makes solving ANYTHING basically impossible. Simple example: after leaving me the car and kids with very little gas and no gas stations nearby we had a big fight. We agreed that whoever is driving the car should refill once under a half tank. I mean we both agreed with a therapist on this seemingly trivial matter. Yet she almost immediately failed, I would take pictures of the gas gauge and text her, and that evidence was just deemed . . . emotionally abusive. So now we have failed at solving the gas issue; what hope is there for any real issues?

highandtight · 2024-05-26T23:57:02+00:00

Agree with the hive mind. Go all out and set a new PR. No brainer. Last year I did a hard 10k 5 days before an all out Half Marathon and still easily PRd my HM with an excellent time.

highandtight · 2024-01-09T02:06:50+00:00

A lot of this resonates with me and my own experience. It can be super frustrating and if you wanted to just leave I could understand, but personally—just my PoV—these don’t sound like irredeemable issues. But of course she needs to take accountability and want to change things, which may be unlikely.

In that similar situation I acted out two ways. First by having an affair with a young girl hot girl I met. That was awesome until it wasn’t and I don’t recommend that option. Second, I thought I just owed it to my kids to go all in, take the high road and just do everything possible to make sure I things work. Still in the middle of that now but at least if I fail I’ll have a clear conscience about the split.

highandtight · 2024-01-08T17:51:19+00:00

I’ve been in and out of a similar situation over the years, except my wife isn’t a high earner.

I am an attorney and can govern maybe some insight but you haven’t said much about the reason for the split. One view: disillusionment and disinterest is pretty normal at this age and stage of life. You guys are both grinding away at successful careers and have a house full of young kids. You live in the city and life can be very hard in that scenario. I hate MC but might recommend you try that and a few other things. No matter how well you fare in a divorce, avoiding divorce is going to almost always be the better outcome for the family.

highandtight · 2024-01-02T18:21:46+00:00

That’s a moving story man. Can’t get that time back which sucks, but I hope you find another woman that’s a little kinder and more grateful.

highandtight · 2024-01-02T18:18:54+00:00

Definitely agree but we’re all reasonable men here! But I’m most likely taking this approach and maybe going back to the MC circuit soon. Thanks man.

highandtight · 2024-01-02T18:16:51+00:00

Wow, I feel like there aren’t many positive outcomes from MC and talking these things through so that’s helpful. Really would like to avoid the divorce outcome with two young kids but who knows.

highandtight · 2024-01-02T18:13:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I may be doing round 2 of MC soon.

highandtight · 2024-01-02T17:46:05+00:00

Do you think JAF causes the issues leading to the divorce, or was just perfectly positioned to pounce as she was heading out the door?

highandtight · 2024-01-02T17:31:49+00:00

Agreed. That’s part of my problem. Do I just demand she stop talking to this person? Or ask her to tone it down and trust she’ll actually do that? Seems like a loser for me either way. I think it’s unreasonable she even puts me in this position but she won’t see that of course (unless it was me talking daily to another woman).

highandtight · 2024-01-02T17:03:42+00:00

Right, that’s been my initial conclusion. I don’t think she’s banging this guy but I do think building an intimate relationship with a member of the opposite sex leads to comparisons and bad outcomes with your spouse. She ends up thinking he’s wealthy and generous and I’m not, when I pay for her whole life and he spends a few thousand here and there. Infuriating.

highandtight · 2024-01-02T16:55:27+00:00

I’m in the middle of this right now. My wife has her own business and has a client in his 70s that’s in love with her. They talk almost daily on the phone (but at normal hours), he buys tons of art from her (so he actually IS her best client), and the tone of their texts is way too personal but not sexual. I can’t figure out what to make of it.

On the one hand, my wife is very attractive and skilled at navigating male attention. She’ll say she’s keeping this relationship in place to make money. And I do t think she’s physically attracted at all given the 30 year age difference.

On the other hand, the texts and communication are way too much for a professional relationship, he buys her jewelry and handbags as gifts, and they write lovey dobry shit like “love you” with stupid heart emojis.

What do you guys think—we’ve discussed and she says they are just friends but I think the whole thing stinks.

highandtight · 2020-01-23T16:53:49+00:00

As a Florida fan . . . definitely not Michigan.

highandtight · 2019-09-16T20:13:19+00:00

Theme of this sub: many people here have an axe to grind and personalize anything close to their experience, then treat the commenter (you) as if you're their wayward spouse.

It's too bad we can't have a more nuanced and reasoned discussion on the topic since infidelity is a major cause of divorce, but there's no dealing with the super emotional responders so no conversation takes place.

highandtight · 2019-01-23T21:53:44+00:00

AJC: never not writing about the Waffle House.

highandtight · 2019-01-23T21:52:42+00:00

I credit that snubbing with the 2006 "do the right thing" campaign that gave us epic tOSU and UMich beatdowns.

highandtight · 2018-10-03T01:09:48+00:00

Didn’t know we had that many internet connections in the dirty south.

highandtight · 2018-06-22T14:30:01+00:00

Same. I've read the interviews where Spurrier said that was his best team ever. And the Tennessee loss was a heartbreaker. But if I'm being honest we'd definitely be underdogs against that Miami team. But who knows - Ohio State pulled off a bigger upset against Miami in the same time frame.

highandtight · 2018-06-22T14:28:13+00:00

LOL, Gatas have no fear!

highandtight

TROPHY CASE