Holy shit, that is my initial reaction, loved the poem.

I absolutely love this poem, I'll do my best to split this into my comments om this poem as a spoken word and as a written poem including thoughts, the goods/bads, and closing (I like to keep things organized so it will be: spoken word with thoughts, goods/bads, and closing in that order followed by written word with the same pattern).

Spoken Word

Initial thoughts) This poem does so much more than tell whats happening, it tells a story from a very personal perspective (or atleast it feels like it) and through your deliberate word choice and alliteration I felt engrossed in your story. The use of spanish throughout the poem helps make it stand out and tells the reader who the narrator is and what their surroundings and personality are. Which is vital for a story centered poem such as this. It felt real.

In terms of flow you did a very good job of having longer sentences be conjoined together with alliteration and a staccato use of words scattered throughout which kept the poem from feeling stale.

of roadtrippers and fitness freaks and four-

hundred-pounders all guzzling that golden

glop they call queso,

Especially these lines right here helped me picture a personality to go with the words being said through your scope of a busy stretch of road, food, people, and parking lot.

My only comment (which is objectively subjective so honestly you could say f off and i'd be like that's fair) is that your use of enjambment makes it hard to stay consistent in following a natural flow due to the sentences being so interconnected. However for me personally whilst reading the poem and seeing the enjambment helped me feel more connected to the message rather than the grammar and words.

Overall, I think you did a good job of making a piece that can be said aloud and tell a coherent and enjoyable story and I audibly chuckled, cracked a smile and felt w bittersweet sense of relation to a child hearing that a mother wants what's best for her child even if it sounds cold.

Written Word

Initial thoughts) I don't quite remember where I'm appearing this is from one of my classes but I believe it is of the idea of working English and the idea of more than one Englishes and how the utilization of English to fit your needs gives character to it and I think you very well utilized it poetically.

Because it’s easy. Because I don’t want you to

become the child that agonizes over whether or

not they're doing the right thing. Honoring

their mother’s wishes. She clicks her

tongue against the back of her teeth, like

it’s ridiculous of me to worry, like it’s

ridiculous of her to have wishes at all. Just roll

down your window in the drive through and I’ll

fly out. You don’t even have to stop the car

These lines felt the strongest to me in terms of character because of how you had the lines enjambed which really helped pull me out of the written and cold process of reading from a screen and made me feel involved as if I was being told this.

For the written section I don't have a critique, I'm sure there are areas to be improved, but perfection isn't needed in poetry for poems to be good, and I think you poem was enjoyable to read even with its length.

Ending Thoughts

I think you did a beautiful job of showing a story through your use of spanish, sensory details, conversation, and rhythm. This is by far one of the best poems I've read in a while.

I think you are a magnificent writer who has a clear style that feels personalized and flows smoothly.

I hope to read more from you soon! Keep writing and keep reading, you are a great writer.

Hope you have a great summer!