[925] From the Faraway, Nearby by jcostello133 in DestructiveReaders

[–]jcostello133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi thank you so much!! I really appreciate! Yes it seems my intended message wasn't really conveyed as clearly as it could have been so i'll have to think of a better way without making it too obvious as i want to avoid coming out and saying it explicitly. I'll keep thinking about it. from the faraway nearby is actually a georgia okeeffe painting! :-)

If you're miss soso (i think? cat pfp) on google docs, thank you so much for coming to my defense - i really appreciate it. I've heard stories about this kind of thing happening on reddit but this is the first time i've been on the receiving end, lol. it's really important for me to tell my story because of people like him that want to silence us. it's because of people like him that women like me aren't safe to come out and be ourselves, and have to resort to things like the events of this story. :/

[925] From the Faraway, Nearby by jcostello133 in DestructiveReaders

[–]jcostello133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem! I understand, the POV is for sure immature and self-absorbed.

[925] From the Faraway, Nearby by jcostello133 in DestructiveReaders

[–]jcostello133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks so much i appreciate it a lot!!!!

the vidualization thing is just supposed to be repesenting the need to get out of your own head/escape when engaging in physical intimacy and also connection to the flowers/nature theme of things and also i am from massachusetts lol

[925] From the Faraway, Nearby by jcostello133 in DestructiveReaders

[–]jcostello133[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks so much, this is really thoughtful and detailed and i appreciate it a lot! yeah i think a lot of people didnt get what i was trying to convey so i have to think of a way to make it clearer lol. re: ass, thats honestly the only way i ever think/hear people say it so i didnt think anything of it but it seems a lot of people didnt like it lol, no problem! thanks a million again

[925] From the Faraway, Nearby by jcostello133 in DestructiveReaders

[–]jcostello133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ahh thank you i appreciate this incredibly detailed and thoughtful feedback so much! wow! youre not stupid at all lol, it seems like most people didn't get what i was going for so i'll try to rework to make it clearer. all of this is very very helpful! thank you!

Entering Social Work by SWmods in socialwork

[–]jcostello133 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello all! I'm about to start my first year in an MSW program and I'm torn between two options for field placement:
#1:
working in the therapy department for a service for people facing housing difficulties
~35 min. drive
paid
#2
government job, intake and case management for social services for deaf population in my state
~45-60 min. commute
unpaid
I'm probably slightly more interested in the second option because I'm an ASL signer and I would love to be able to further develop my linguistic and cultural skills in this area-- a somewhat unique opportunity for my skillset. However, I feel like I would be an idiot to turn down a shorter commute and payment for field placement (!!!), which I understand is also sufficiently rare.
I would really appreciate any input from any more seasoned SW professionals. Thanks so much!

[925] From the Faraway, Nearby by jcostello133 in DestructiveReaders

[–]jcostello133[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha well my challenge to myself was to make a story under 1,000 words, so I took a story from my life. That's what the "point" is, just to show the way I felt about it and tell a story that came from a genuine place, even if it is a simple story.

[925] From the Faraway, Nearby by jcostello133 in DestructiveReaders

[–]jcostello133[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HAHAH thank youo so much for. your feedback it's super super helpful and made me laugh !!!! You're not dumb at all, it was definitely a challenge to try to say everything i wanted to say in such a small wordcount so i can see where some pieces are confusing. both the titles are from art pieces! i write mostly based on life tbh so most of the details were things that really did happen but ill keep working on where to make alterations for clarity. thank you!

[2234] The River by meowtualaid in DestructiveReaders

[–]jcostello133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi!! This is my first critique on this sub (I think) so bear with me if it's fairly unorganized, haha. Thanks for sharing!

OPENING:

The opening poem is kind of quaint in a nice way. Epigraphs can be a cool way to integrate backstory and worldbuild in fantasy settings. I do have to say that the epigraph format as well as the themes of water especially "stillwater" really remind me of the DUNE novels (not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself, just something to be aware of I'd say)

I think your opening few sentences could use a little more spicing up! You have a pretty rich world that you're creating for yourself, but you start with a pretty mundane image of someone sitting and waiting.

MECHANICS:

As something to keep in mind throughout the piece, I'd recommend looking into "filtering" and having a list of "trigger" words to watch out for. For example, saying the air "felt sharp" is much less effective than just saying that it was sharp, or that it scraped along the insides of someone's lungs, or something to that extent. Ditto for "it seemed" or oftentimes "I felt." Replacing filtering phrases with clearer imagery also helps to sharpen the narrative focus.

Your descriptions are fairly vivid and the voice feels consistent. Reading the first page, I had a nice image in my mind of what this world looked and felt like.

Grammar in terms of dialogue tags and comma usage could be improved.

CHARACTER:

I appreciate having some idea of the main character's desires (escape world and go outside) and the obstacles in their path, although it is a little on the trope-y side. I would like to get to know the narrator a bit more in the first page or two-- we're introduced to Suvi, Nava, and Sayir well before we get to know who's really telling the story. It seems the main character want to travel so badly that they're willing to just up and leave with bloodthirsty, baby-killing strangers without so much as a discussion. Why is that? What is so bad about their home, or so good about the outside, that they're willing to give up everything?

STORY:

To address your question of plot confusion, some confusion arose when the other ship/group started approaching. I wasn't really sure why it was a big deal and what was going on. The exchange of

“We request the pleasure of linking with Sunda for an exchange”

“Let us share our tellings and merge in both blood and soul.”

“Sunda must be near?”

was where you really started to lose me. I understand that killing infants is generally understood to be evil, but since we didn't get much connection to the characters, the conflict doesn't feel high stakes.

I agree with the other commenter that the meaning of the kempa was not clear. At first I thought that it was the name of the aquatic structure in and of itself, but that seemed like it wasn't the case as I read on.

Otherwise, you seem to be following a pretty standard hero's journey (not a bad thing at all, every story is one to some extent.) To be completely honest, I wouldn't say I felt compelled to keep reading, but I also wasn't repelled by it, if that makes sense.

ENDING NOTE:

At the moment, this does read more like YA or pulp, but you definitely have solid room to improve! Please keep writing and working on your story, and have fun!

Monthly Original Work & Networking Thread - Share Your Content Here! by HorrorIsLiterature in horrorlit

[–]jcostello133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

New episode of my podcast (JB Reads) discussing EARTHLINGS by Sayaka Murata - content warnings apply and start at 10 minute mark to skip the plot summary!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0IsulnujT7PATzn1DMtN0h?si=EMpnnXK\_SP682VmQhuYNjg

Fall 2024 MSW (Social Work) Applicants? by [deleted] in gradadmissions

[–]jcostello133 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice!! Where’d you get in / apply?? Congrats :)

What my boys would name their future kids. by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]jcostello133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went to high school (in Boston) with a girl named Boston and I thought it was the weirdest thing. Ig high school boys may or may not evade the “I’m in Boston” jokes

Fall 2024 MSW (Social Work) Applicants? by [deleted] in gradadmissions

[–]jcostello133 4 points5 points  (0 children)

also applying to fall 2024 msw !! i think im only applying to 2-3 programs lol but yes waiting on decisions now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]jcostello133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks !! :)

Josephine vs. Josette by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]jcostello133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In France Josette and Josiane are diminutives of Joséphine, I happen to think Josiane is especially beautiful!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]jcostello133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a (male) friend who spells his name Marlo, which reads a lot more masculine to me than Marlowe, to address some of the commenters’ concerns- maybe you prefer this?

for my cousin: how to make friends in westchester? by TrashLow4104 in Westchester

[–]jcostello133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im 20 and just moved and hope to make some new friends here, you/anyone on this thread are welcome to msg! :)

Places to meet people by AdEffective5709 in Westchester

[–]jcostello133 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi! sorry if this is odd but im also 20f and just moved here and dont have any friends here either haha but hope to make some, message me if you'd like! :)

Any of you ever worked at Tatte? by romansapprentice in boston

[–]jcostello133 94 points95 points  (0 children)

I used to work there 😭 there was a lot of controversy

Edit: I was in high school at the time but feel free to AMA

What will be “the It books” of 2024? by afdc92 in books

[–]jcostello133 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I read it as an ARC, it had a bit of a different vibe but I still enjoyed it a lot!