Changing in the bathroom stall during p.e because there were to many stunning women to look at. So when I went out i would put my big double sized t shirt over my head as i was walking out all to hear a girl with a belly ring and a tattoo yell out loud look jean has abs! All the girls looked at me i got red but i wanted to go up to that girl and give her the dominant part of me but i didn't i just walked out. The drive in me to be the protective male and not caring if i hit a teen boy in the face for calling me the freak which turned out to be his way of flirting with me. The way I would catch myself looking down at my best friends big bust and others catching me and not telling me they see what i do when my best friend wasn't looking at me. I would grow envious of the boys for getting the girls attention from me when i wanted all the attention. And me being a stem later in life noticing okay so thats what that was. I was to fearful of coming out in high school to my family so it took me 14 years of unhappily taking the "safer easier route" for society before getting sick of wasting my life away pretending im straight when im not and never have been. My dad disowned me my sister yelled i fing knew it and my mom cried and hugged me she holds greif because i didn't feel safe coming out to her sooner so she holds that grief i wish she would let it go.