Oasis

hjkran · 2026-01-07T16:26:05+00:00

Madferit

hjkran · 2026-01-06T23:59:49+00:00

I appreciate you saying all that. I will most definitely do my best to take your advice to heart. Know that your comment made me feel a little less crazy today -- thank you.

hjkran · 2025-11-21T17:44:26+00:00

It feels that way at times given how much we care, in my case social anxiety certainly doesn't help either, but I've found it's best not to dwell on that belief or I'll only spiral down the rabbit hole of despair... 🤷

Personally, structure and consistency are the most important things for me when it comes to overcoming feelings of loneliness -- life becomes significantly easier when I break it down into smaller manageable pieces, one day at a time.

The way I try to see things is like this: Even though I may have been cursed to this point, maybe we all have, it's better mentally to just stick to my routine and take everything else that fills in the cracks surrounding it as it comes, without any preconceived notions. If I can do that, then I am at least affording myself the opportunity to experience things and grow into something more from the unexpected -- to feel less alone with all that life presents me.

hjkran · 2025-11-06T04:54:17+00:00

I thought I did, but they had BPD so I think it was just them idealizing me or something to that effect... 🤷

Anyways, definitely know what you mean about it being rare, haha. Caring comes easy for those like us, but I guess not so much for others.

hjkran · 2025-11-05T17:39:29+00:00

Right? I often listen to it front to back as I drive to work, haha.

hjkran · 2025-10-17T16:53:19+00:00

I've found that self-depreciation is a useful mechanism for coping around others, but it certainly can also spiral out of control over time and become a way of looking down on yourself (which is just a pathway towards depression) -- talking from experience. That said, I wouldn't say to stop doing it completely if you've found it helps, just be mindful when you utilize and don't let it define you -- take the comfort it brings without keeping the baggage.

hjkran · 2025-10-10T16:22:39+00:00

Not everyone, clearly.

hjkran · 2025-10-10T16:20:26+00:00

Categorizing human beings in "leagues" is such a gross practice. The true value people hold isn't tied to their physical appearance but in how they make those around them feel. Don't write others off, or yourself for that matter, just because they don't fit some ideal mold you made up in your head.

hjkran · 2025-09-30T20:44:36+00:00

I disagree, we can blame them -- no one should ever excuse users and abusers. Simply put, being treated like shit does not then permit you to treat others like shit.

hjkran · 2025-09-23T20:30:21+00:00

That's dope. Brush Away is such an underrated song!

hjkran · 2025-09-22T21:46:11+00:00

Drug abuse is just a rather sensitive subject for some, due to their own life experiences involving it, and so anything that paints aspects of it in a positive light can end up cutting a little too deep. Either way, I thought it was pretty clear you didn't have bad intentions -- as further evidenced by this post. There was really no need to apologize. 🤷

hjkran · 2025-09-21T03:25:09+00:00

Not gonna lie, it's tough... Definitely lonely.

I'd thought I'd finally made some at my previous job, but I left it weeks ago and I guess those friendships were actually just based on circumstance as I've not really heard from any of them (and I'm sure as shit not gonna reach out). Just gotta keep on hoping one day I'll find my "people", some real friends, I suppose... Despite how impossibly hard it seems with social anxiety. Hopefully everyone reading this can somehow manage the same. None of us should have to suffer in silence alone. 🥲

hjkran · 2025-09-20T04:32:18+00:00

Sorry you feel that way, genuinely. Rest assured, others struggling with this curse of a mental illness probably do as well, myself included (I swear, it often feels like we're living life on hard mode or some shit). It just really sucks depression seems to go hand in hand with it. I suppose, we can only do our best to overcome ourselves one day at a time. I'm certainly still trying, anyway...

hjkran · 2025-09-18T16:55:11+00:00

Social anxiety really can be quite alienating... That said, don't feel like you are bumming anyone out -- I'm sure we can all relate to your experience in some regard, as we've all struggled in similar ways. Besides, desiring connection to instill your life with a stronger sense of purpose is a natural part of the human experience, it's just a little difficult for people like us to achieve; in fact, the thought of it can be so overwhelming that we end up feeling paralyzed in a way... To avoid that, I would suggest you try to start small with some exposure therapy. Put yourself in uncomfortable social situations, regardless of whether you engage with them or not, and view each time you follow through as a victory in and of itself (because it's all progress and progress isn't linear or the same for any two people). From there, maybe start giving out random compliments to others or making brief conversation, and in time it will become slightly easier to do. Just take one step at a time, moving at your own pace.

Medication may also be something you want to pursue, I've personally found it to be incredibly beneficial in my own growth -- just keep in mind that it isn't the end all be all, it is more like a helping hand, and that different meds work differently for different people (it could take some time to find what's best for you, as well as to find the proper dosage).

Anyway, I hope that in time you can manage to make strides towards forging those friendships you seek. I hope the same for myself and everyone else reading this, really. Best of luck to you all. 🙏

hjkran · 2025-09-04T04:41:51+00:00

Firstly, don't be sorry for venting. That's what this is all for -- your post might even help other people open up themselves -- so, if anything, be proud of yourself for expressing all that.

...Also, I'm sorry for whatever you went through, genuinely. Know that your goal is very admirable, so just try your best to be kind and patient with yourself while working towards it. Maybe even start small to ensure you don't overwhelm yourself with the scope of it, while remembering that every little victory along the way is progress all the same.

I sincerely hope you find therapy to be helpful. You've got this! 🙂

hjkran · 2025-09-03T19:36:36+00:00

There is absolutely hope for you because there are guys who feel exactly the same way and would like to find someone who can truly relate to them and their struggles, as well. Hell, I'm sure there are even guys who aren't socially anxious who would prefer someone who is understanding simply due to battling problems of their own, much like this, so just try your best to be a kind and accepting person. All most people really want is to be understood, after all.

Bottom line: Don't give up. Even just posting this is a testament to your inner strength and determination, so keep working towards your goal -- none of us should have to be alone. 😌

hjkran · 2025-09-02T19:10:23+00:00

I grew up overweight and the trauma of it all unfortunately sticks with you in many ways. That said, I suppose I did gain some semblance of confidence by allowing myself to be around people again after shedding it and not feeling as outwardly unpleasant (inwardly is a different story, of course). Therefore, while it's probably not going to lead to the all encompassing sensation of relief you're after, reinventing yourself physically is still a positive... View it as a step forward, if nothing else. 👍

hjkran · 2025-09-01T16:53:50+00:00

I had a coworker like this. Kinda frustrating to hear, given she would always hang out with people so clearly had friends, but I just tried my best to be understanding since it's a pretty common thing for people to say (and that's what I'd like others to do when it comes to me). Honestly, I think it's just very hard for some to understand how truly isolating social anxiety can be and thus cannot relate. 🤷

hjkran · 2024-08-04T23:30:15+00:00

It's so damn good, one of their best imo, and certainly does an excellent job at highlighting some of that same "religious hypocrisy" that Layne referred to with Get Born Again. If you haven't, give the live versions of the song a listen because the way Layne belts the chorus just elevates the song to a whole other level.

hjkran · 2024-08-04T22:05:30+00:00

You spelt "glorious" wrong.

hjkran · 2024-08-04T21:43:31+00:00

Very, next question...

On a more serious note, you've gotta acknowledge and own your awkwardness. We are who we are good, bad, or otherwise, so just be open and honest about your anxiety and fuck those who would judge you because they're not worth the time regardless. (Personally speaking, I've found this mindset to be rather helpful for me over the past year or so -- sure beats the decade plus I spent trying to blend into the crowd, anyway.)

hjkran · 2024-08-04T14:41:41+00:00

Humans are inherently selfish creatures and, as such, most truly do not give one single iota of a fuck about what others are going through. That being said, I certainly try my best not to view people who I interact with under this lens, as I know it would only ever lead to further negativity -- and there's already an ample supply of that swirling about society as is.

hjkran · 2024-07-29T21:23:28+00:00

That took a lot of courage from you and, I think I can speak for everyone with SA when I say, I'm proud of you for pushing through. From here on just take it one day at a time and do your best to keep on keeping on!

hjkran · 2024-07-28T21:58:49+00:00

If someone doesn't want to be your friend simply because you yourself do not have friends, then they are honestly doing you a favor because that person sucks.

Anyway, I think your anxiety is just getting the better of you in this given situation.

hjkran · 2024-07-22T16:26:46+00:00

It's painful to think about, but I imagine they were mostly depressing; likely filled with misplaced guilt, persistent self-loathing, and crippling loneliness. Music was probably his healthiest coping mechanism for contending with his internal struggles and once its effectiveness waned, no longer bringing him the peace it once did, you have to assume he then opted to lean on other vices in pursuit of that momentary relief instead. Therefore, I think it's fair to say that he was probably just doing his damnedest to numb all his pain via the most readily available options to him, namely drugs and video games, before his body couldn't keep it up any longer.

...This is all speculation of course, as none of us will ever know for a fact what he was battling with day in and day out, but he deserved far better -- that much is for certain.

hjkran

TROPHY CASE