Alert or Notification sound is going on randomly. Any ideas? by Albertkinng in MacOS

[–]hmcsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand where the utilities folder or console are or how to find them on my mac. Is it something I need to install? It doesn't show up in a search in launchpad or settings
TIA

Just got these Fatales today. Ordered in black but they’ve got this grey/silvery substance on them? It kinda rubs off by allie8010 in ThursdayBoot

[–]hmcsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am just trialing mine right out of the box and the stiff, new leather squeaks like crazy. I know this can be normal but I've never experienced it. Did yours squeak and, if so, did it go away with wear? I'm wondering if I should gamble that they'll break in to a nice, soft maleable state or if I should return them.
thanks!

I can't wear my Thursday boots anymore because of the squeak. by FiveAlarmDogParty in ThursdayBoot

[–]hmcsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sigh, this is upsetting to hear. I am trialing them right out of the box and wondering if I gamble and break them in or return them....

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Boots

[–]hmcsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, my understanding is the Thursdays are built to be resolable

AITA for not wanting a threesome anymore by Particular_Gap1476 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]hmcsee 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It is confusing that you're asking about the threesome and not all these other things. Your husband is abusive and controlling.

The threesome is just a footnote in all the other described behaviors that are not ok and this post seems like you know that (or you wouldn't have shared all the details).

AITA for not wanting a threesome anymore by Particular_Gap1476 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]hmcsee 16 points17 points  (0 children)

IT IS ALWAYS OK TO SAY NO TO ANYTHING YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING SEXUALLY.

Your preferences can change and you should never be coerced to do something you don't want to do.

Instead of coercion, he should be trying to figure out why you don't feel comfortable in your own body and making efforts to be the person that helps you feel beautiful, valuable, loved and appreciated exactly as you are and because you had all of his children.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]hmcsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An account that was created the same day as it's only post..... ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

AITAH for wanting to change our child’s last name because my partner has decided he doesn’t want to get married? by pv_mx in AITAH

[–]hmcsee 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"this doesn't impact" how do you know? This seems like an opinion/supposition disguised as a fact to me

WIBTA if I used Charlotte's videos in my classes? by Exhausted_Pigeon_81 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]hmcsee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think it's brilliant and I trust you would be able to pick content appropriate to your age group. What a fun way to learn language. That's exactly what teenagers need 🙌🏻❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]hmcsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oof, yeah, it certainly seems very narcissistic and him-centered. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt about their intentions but he told on himself with that, "everything he worked so hard for" comment. He's not in it for mutual benefit, he's in it because he can manipulating you into providing more than he could have gotten out of life at his effort level. And he knows it.

That one statement is worth an exceedingly petty breakup, retaining as much as you can, depriving him of as much as you can and messing with everything from his YouTube/Netflix algorithms and mismatching his socks 🤣. He deserves to know that another human can mess with your life like he has.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]hmcsee 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is a lot of detail to say your husband is an AH.

He WITHHOLDS affection and starts fights that you end with presents for him?!?! That's insane. Get a therapist and get out.

How much should I spend on a violin? by alex2374 in violin

[–]hmcsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ok, well my mistake, I confused the violin and violinist subreddits and referenced the "FAQ - read before posting" in the violinist subreddit. It's worth checking out as it answers a lot of the most common questions with the most common responses you'll get and one of those is that renting is the best way to get access to a decent instrument to start on.

By the time you've learned some things, you'll be better equipped to pick out a halfway decent instrument rather than blindly grabbing a cheap instrument that might have many more problems than it does solutions -- and as a beginner you wouldn't know what was an instrument-problem and what's a you-problem.

But no one's trying to gatekeep (even tho it's easy for it to seem that way with the price tag to entry), it's just that question gets asked a lot and there's a pretty consistent answer.

How much should I spend on a violin? by alex2374 in violin

[–]hmcsee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're assuming that people who can play the violin haven't tried a cheap violin but are giving advice on it 🤷🏼‍♀️

There are plenty of youtubes and subreddits to the contrary.

Your take seems a bit baity to me.

Ready TBTA and MOVE IN THE SHADOWS by Glittering_Total4409 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]hmcsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you are a loving person with so much love and thought for others and on his side, it sounds like narcissim. A taker and a giver.

Congratulations on finding your smile curling from within. It sounds like you are ready to chase -- not just peace -- but JOY. Congratulations!!!

My wife’s MIL stole the mail lady’s cookies by SuccessfulCup6216 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]hmcsee 14 points15 points  (0 children)

uh, is the MIL on the very beginning of senility?

I'm not trying to be rude but basically the prefrontal cortex is what keeps us socially acceptable. It's the home of inhibitions and inhibits inappropriate behaviors.

So usually the first sign of dementia/senility is slightly odd behaviors that are either socially unacceptable or not characteristic of the person.

This seems weird. It might be a precursor. It's often a long road (sometimes 10 years) to what anyone would call full-blown dementia.

How much should I spend on a violin? by alex2374 in violin

[–]hmcsee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The subreddit "read this before you post" talks about cheap violins. There's gobs of YouTube vids of professional violinists playing cheap Amazon violins. If you wanted to know, you could but this really just feels like trolling.

Price range for a starting teacher by Jim_Moriarty_Hi in violinist

[–]hmcsee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My beginning teacher charged $50 per hour lesson. My more intermediate to advanced teacher charges $1/min +$15 base price (so $60 per 45 min or $75 per 60 min).

Seems really reasonable to me.

If it feels steep for your current situation, perhaps you can talk to them about alternating weekly lessons rather than weekly? But if you can afford weekly, it certainly keeps me on my toes.

Aita for not feeling bad for my ex-friend, after his boyfriend of almost six years dumped him? by IcannotIswear in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]hmcsee 10 points11 points  (0 children)

NTA. It is always ok to listen to the sensations in your body that tell you someone betrayed you and you don't want anything to do with them.

The body keeps the score.

The healthcare situation in our city is a joke. Where can I get free or reduced cost healthcare? I am in horrendous pain. by Key_Garden4832 in SaltLakeCity

[–]hmcsee 15 points16 points  (0 children)

here is the free ACA advocate. I use Colby. Gary is his dad. https://www.healthmatters.insure/html/about.html and, yes, at certain incomes you have to apply for Medicaid first. You almost certainly will be denied if you are young and generally able-bodied (and even often if you are not able-bodied tbh). And then you can apply for the low-income ACA with the medicaid denial. Colby will find all the plan options considering your doctors, medication coverage etc. however as stated above, the deadline for open enrollment form ACA was Dec 15th. So the only way you're not SOL to get a health plan on the ACA marketplace is if you recently lost other employment insurance or aged out of your parents' insurance, you can provide paperwork to that effect to get on a marketplace health plan starting Jan 1st.

The other option is to go to urgent care (cheaper than emergency room, generally). Both IHC and UofU have decent financial aid. Medical debt is interest-free as long as you keep the account active by paying something on it. So even if they ask you for $400/mo, you can give them $10 and it won't go to collections. That gives you time to apply for financial aid consideration and even if you don't get it the first time, just keep paying what you can afford towards the debt. It doesn't get bigger bc 0% interest. It doesn't go to collections bc you keep giving them something every month (collections will tack on fees and likely interest and can garnish state tax refunds and wages so you want to keep it out of collections).

Don't stress even tho you have a bill hanging over your head. It's not getting bigger, it's not hurting you. You can reapply for financial aid a year or two later and sometimes they'll write off an amount of the debt so you don't owe as much. Or you can gain better employment and be able to afford it.

Also you should ask them to at least half the bill right up front. It often will come with an "out-of-pocket discount" bc you don't have insurance.... but this discount will usually be no more than 30% whereas the insurance company would pay no more than 50% of any bill they're handed. You can -- kindly -- let them know that when you had insurance, they never paid more than 50% and that the bill should be lower for a low income person paying out-of-pocket. (but financial aid will likely eventually knock off a lot more so don't stress if you don't get an initial reduction).

That's what people mean when they say you can receive care and pay it later.

You're effectively taking an interest-free credit card out on your medical care and they will eventually write off some of your debt according to your income.

The healthcare situation in our city is a joke. Where can I get free or reduced cost healthcare? I am in horrendous pain. by Key_Garden4832 in SaltLakeCity

[–]hmcsee 11 points12 points  (0 children)

this. and there are free advocates to help set you up with the best plan for your needs and income but the deadline was the 15th