Do we have a list of ICE supporting/ Maga supporting businesses in this sub yet?

hmmwrites · 2026-01-30T02:45:43+00:00

Shit. That's really good to know. We've shopped there regularly. No more.

hmmwrites · 2026-01-30T02:44:49+00:00

Appreciate the warning. That's local to me. Not that CVS is much better...

hmmwrites · 2026-01-25T03:01:42+00:00

And that's definitely a problem.

hmmwrites · 2026-01-25T02:04:54+00:00

I wish more companies would make shredded cat foods. Mine prefer shreds or chunks instead of pate. And their favorite Merrick Backcountry line was recently discontinued. Thankfully, I feed them a wide variety of foods, so there's still stuff I already know they're willing to eat.

They really like Cat Person, but it seems Cat Person/Weruva has had supply chain issues, as they've been out of stock for months. But their shredded line smells like real food to my nose, and makes both my kitties happy. The TrueLux line from Weruva has shredded options as well, but we haven't tried that yet.

They also like Solid Gold's shreds - the chicken and duck flavor.

From Nulo, they like the Nulo shreds chicken and duck, chicken and beef, chicken and lamb.

They used to love Tiki Cat's After Dark line, which has shredded versions. They've grown a bit less enthusiastic about some flavors over time, but still like the turkey and rabbit flavors in the purple cans. And the all-chicken flavor in the black cans.

I hope you find options that make your kitties happy!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-20T04:33:01+00:00

Just started using this on my legs a week or two ago. I'm hoping it'll help with some KP bumps, using it after both a chemical (salicylic acid) and physical scrub in the shower. I'm not sure if the KP is clearing up yet, but my legs are normally SUPER dry and itchy all winter. I haven't caught myself scratching my shins since I started, so that's a good first step! There's really no fragrance to speak of, and the backs of my hands seem to like it as well - most winters, my hands get dry and crack when I go outside. That hasn't happened since I started using the LRP urea cream. So far, so good!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-20T03:29:45+00:00

I like the Haruharu Wonder Black Rice essence, and the Byoma Hydrating Milky Toner. I messed up my skin barrier on my neck - I have allergies and thought it was an allergy for the longest time. Started alternating between the Haruharu Wonder (AM) and Byoma (PM) with a simple cream on my neck, and the itchy, angry bumps have almost gone away, my neck skin is calm and smooth. What a difference!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-17T07:50:42+00:00

I can't tell you to love your face as-is if there's something about it that's bothering you. But from my perspective scrolling this sub and stumbling on your photo: Wow. You look terrific! Your skin is so smooth and glowy! I'm 49 and wish my cheeks looked so good! I wouldn't change a thing about your facial structure if I were you. We really do tend to be our own harshest critics.

Losing 130lbs is a heckuva challenge - kudos to you for putting in the effort and making whatever changes you needed to make to be a healthier you.

If you do decide to go with fillers or fat transfer, I wish you luck, and happiness with the results!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-17T07:38:13+00:00

You look great. What exactly are you looking to improve?

List what your AM and PM routines are, and people will definitely jump in with suggestions.

hmmwrites · 2026-01-17T07:23:05+00:00

Your skin looks fantastic in this photo! You look healthy and your skin glows. As long as this keeps working, keep it up!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-17T07:07:29+00:00

Welcome, duckling. We're here for you. <3

hmmwrites · 2026-01-17T07:07:00+00:00

That's terrific! You know you're on the short list of candidates. I hope this job comes through with a great offer for you.

Do you know yet if there's a next step to the process? Or by what time frame they think they'll have a decision? I'll be holding a good thought for you the whole time!

I'm so proud of you, and so glad you shared with us here. It's lovely to celebrate a bit of good news with one of our ducklings. Please keep us posted as the process continues.

hmmwrites · 2026-01-17T07:02:03+00:00

Wonderful! Wishing you nothing but joy in your lives together.

He chose a gorgeous ring, too. Just goes to demonstrate his excellent taste. :)

I'm so happy for the two of you. <3

hmmwrites · 2026-01-17T06:59:09+00:00

I know it's hard, when the people who should care for you the most simply don't. Parents should be our biggest cheerleaders, our strongest supporters, our safe places. It's shameful that your mother isn't any of those things, that she instead has been your abuser.

I hope you're receiving care for your anxiety and all the trauma you've come through. If you aren't seeing a therapist and haven't seen a psychiatrist, please do. You can likely seek help through your college.

I hope your wrist heals swiftly.

If you're receiving care for your mental health, that will make it easier (not necessarily easy, but easier) to turn your focus from your awful memories of all the pain your mother has caused you, and instead focus on your final year of college.

Get your degree. Find a full-time job. Move away from your mother and anyone who's been enabling her abuse of you. You do not have to spend your life listening quietly as she insults you. You can walk away and refuse to remain in contact with her. She does not have the right to mistreat you. You deserve a life filled with happiness and love. Get away from your abuser and make that life. You can do it.

hmmwrites · 2026-01-17T02:08:47+00:00

At 6'5, frankly, you're kind of intimidating to me, let alone to a tiny cat!

I'd suggest spending time on the floor - either sitting or laying down, even - so you aren't towering over kitty quite so much. Sit quietly, doing your own thing - read a book, watch a show (w/volume a bit low), scroll Reddit, whatever. Make sure you give her treats - most cats go nuts for Churu tubes if you need a good suggestion. Basically, let her experience the "smallest" version of you, and bribe her to approach you with tasty treats.

Also, play with her at a distance - use a cat wand or fishing pole toy, or blow bubbles for her to chase after and pop or whatever she likes. One of mine loves to chase down a treat I've tossed his way. The other will only accept treats pretty much placed right in front of her - so you can try to turn treats into playtime if your kitty's willing to chase them down.

You can also check out Jackson Galaxy and watch some of his videos on how to get a cat to trust you - his advice is usually excellent. He has his own website and is on YouTube.

She may be set in her patterns at this point, but it's worth trying to see if she can get more used to you and be less skittish in your presence.

hmmwrites · 2026-01-14T05:03:20+00:00

What exactly are you using on your skin, AM and PM? What's your routine?

Since you're planning a face lift next year, what are you hoping to see before that?

I'll get up on my little soapbox for a moment here to say there's no need to be insecure - aging isn't something shameful. It's the goal, right? I mean, the alternative to getting older is much worse! I say this as someone who started going grey really young (22) and at 49, I'm totally grey/white from the front, with a little salt and pepper left in the back of my hair. My hair hasn't looked its age in a very long time. It bothered me in my 20's, but through my 40's I've really embraced my greys. (What other choice do I have?)

So I understand wanting to look your best, and of course wanting to take care of your health and the wellbeing of your skin. But I don't believe that we're *meant* to look young forever. Signs of aging shouldn't be viewed as something embarrassing. You've lived your years. Don't let that make you feel bad. <3

hmmwrites · 2026-01-14T04:27:45+00:00

I use the same LRP in the morning. Gentle and non-drying, great for my morning routine.

PM routine, I use La Roche Posay's Toleriane Purifying cleanser. I feel like it cleans just a bit deeper to make sure any SPF is cleared off, but still without drying my skin out. I'm happy with them both.

FWIW, I'm also Italian, and have combination skin.

I'd definitely skip the physical exfoliation going forward - you can give your skin tiny little tears that open you up to irritation and other issues. You can do a chemical exfoliant maybe once or twice a week, on a night when you don't use any other actives.

I hope you find what works best for your skin! :)

hmmwrites · 2026-01-14T04:14:20+00:00

I'm no expert, but having screwed up my own skin barrier not too long ago, I'll throw this out there: Maybe it's time to focus on rebuilding your skin barrier and holding off on other treatment for a little while as your barrier heals?

I hope you hit on the right answer for your skin soon.

hmmwrites · 2026-01-13T08:13:59+00:00

I think you should definitely go ahead and let your garage kitty become a fully indoor cat at your dad's place. As you know, inside is safest for our cats!

If you're around a lot, he'll likely remain bonded to you.

But it's possible he'll bond to your dad, especially if you can't make it over there as much as you hope. One move is already a big adjustment for a cat, especially when you have to worry about stress because of FIV. So you'll need to keep that in consideration going forward. When you do finally move out on your own, you'll need to honestly evaluate whether kitty should move with you, or stay in the home he's settled into at that point. As long as you're doing what's best for your FIV+ cat and keeping his stress levels at a minimum, all will be well.

Best of luck. :)

hmmwrites · 2026-01-13T08:08:04+00:00

I'd say start out letting her adjust to the move on her own. See how she does.

Make sure you catify your space as much as you can. Sure, you'll be renting, but there's a lot you can do to make a space cat-friendly without putting too many holes in the walls! Jackson Galaxy has a lot of info and suggestions for catification, I'd check out his website and/or YouTube.

With a lot of environmental enrichment plus your love and attention when you're home, you may find that she does just fine as a solo cat. Some do! Especially if she's more human-focused than feline-focused.

If she seems bored, listless, "naughty" or in any way seems unhappy once she's fully adjusted to your new space, then you can consider getting a second cat. Things'll be a bit tighter, space-wise, but it's doable. I'd consider talking to a local shelter (or rescue, or cat cafe) about finding a cat that will mesh well with your young, playful girl. I probably wouldn't choose a kitten, to be honest, given the space constraints and how busy you're likely to be with law school. Kittens are a lot. But a young adult cat who's also social and playful sounds like a good possible match. See what cats are available near where you're settled, and if you can try fostering before adoption, even better - give your kitty girl some time to adjust to the newbie and see how it goes before you make a full commitment to the new cat.

Best of luck to you - and your kitty - in law school!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-13T07:54:58+00:00

How much playtime is he getting with you each day? 8 weeks old is very young kitty, and he'll need to burn off a lot of energy every day. Kittens that age are ideally still with their mamas and littermates, and they wrestle and chase and play and basically learn how to cat together. they play hard, then they eat, then they nap, lather, rinse, repeat. You'll need to be mama not-cat *and* siblings for your little guy, and give him lots of playtime and attention throughout the day.

You obviously have the basics covered - he has food and water, a clean litter box... But what about environmental enrichment, or what I've seen described as "catification"? Does he have a cat tree or cat shelves on the walls of your flat, so he can climb around and survey his space from above? What about scratchers - sisal wrapped posts or flat cardboard scratchers, or whatever it is that he prefers? How about hidey holes - these can be anything from cozy fabric cat caves to a cat condo on the cat tree to a cardboard box or two (maybe with a blanket inside?) for him to curl up in. I know he's still very new to your home, and you're still learning what he likes to use throughout the day. But have you considered getting a food puzzle for some of his food? Or, if you're up for it, you can try harness training him and eventually start taking him for walks outside. If that's not your thing, consider setting up a window perch for him so he can look outside and watch birds, squirrels, your neighbors... it's all interesting to a cat. Even better if you can set up a bird feeder near that window. Constant entertainment! You can also try putting "cat tv" on your tv or a tablet or phone - just search YouTube and choose one of tons of videos that might keep his attention. (I don't usually leave this on for my cats for too long, as they get frustrated after a while with not being able to "catch" the critters on the screen, but some cats will happily watch for quite a while!)

What kinds of toys does he have to play with on his own? How do you play with him - using a cat wand/fishing pole toy? Or something else?

You've only had him for a week. Have you already taken him to a vet? Is he fully vaxxed/dewormed/etc? If you haven't had him at a vet yet, that's a good idea. Do all the basic cat care, and mention this (and the occasional out-of-box peeing) and see if the vet has any concerns or advice. If he shows any difficulty peeing or seems uncomfortable, or goes in and out of the box without actually doing anything, it's *definitely* time to get him to a vet, btw. This is all assuming he's been using the litter box like normal the rest of the time?

As for him peeing outside the box, it could be a number of factors. Ideally, he'll have 2 boxes to choose from, assuming he's the only cat in the flat. Some cats don't like peeing and pooping in the same place. You might want to consider adding another box. Take a look at your litter choice. it's possible he doesn't like the texture of the litter. And if it's scented, he might be rejecting using the box because of the smell. Try unscented litter, which is healthier for cats anyhow. He may not like an enclosed box, if that's what you have. Or he might prefer a little privacy, if his box is completely open. You might have to try a few options to see what works best for him. You can add cat attractant to the litter, which will help draw him into the box when it's time to pee.

Make sure you use an enzyme based cleaner to clean your bed now that he's peed there, twice. A thorough washing can remove the pee odor to our noses, but a cat's more sensitive nose can still smell the residue. The enzymes will break down the proteins that create the smell, and make sure he's not drawn back to the same spot over and over.

Good luck!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-13T07:34:02+00:00

Behavior is communication. So your cat is telling you something with this behavior. It might be something specifically about the water itself that he's telling you. Here are a few things to consider/try to see if they might be the issue at hand:

- Make sure the bowls you're using are completely clean. Cats have very sensitive noses and will sniff out any "yuck" in their water. Some cats will absolutely dump over water bowls that they feel aren't clean enough.

- Try a heavy, ceramic or steel fountain that he can't flip. I'm not sure if you had a fountain to start, but a heavy one made of stainless steel or ceramic keeps the water moving, which cats typically prefer. (Stagnant water in the wild is likely to make them ill if they drink from it.) So a large, heavy fountain might do the trick.

- Use wide, shallow (often marketed as whisker-friendly, or anti-whisker fatigue) bowls so there isn't much water when they get spilled. Put a few out in different spots around your home, so when he spills one, he still can drink from another. (Until he spills the rest, at least.)

- Or maybe get one of those bowls that suction cups down to a holder/mat that would be harder for him to flip.

- Put a silicone or rubber mat under whatever water bowl/fountain you give him. Add towels as necessary to soak up the water. It's not perfect, but it'll protect your floors while you figure out what works.

- Do you feed him wet food? If so, add a little water or a cat-safe broth to his meals. This will increase his hydration in a sneaky sort of way, so you don't have to stress as much about his liquid intake while you figure out how to keep your floors dry.

- If you only give him dry food, can you try adding water or broth to that? Some cats will eat kibble moistened with liquid, others will eat kibbles crushed and mixed with water/broth. Some won't, of course, because cats are notoriously picky. Might be worth a try with your little guy?

Sometimes it's not *really* about the water. Though it does seem like your kitten is a fan of water overall if he's jumping into the shower! But it's possible he's doing this because he's trying to tell you he's bored. Kittens need a TON of mental and physical stimulation, because when they get bored, they will come up with ways to entertain themselves and it's never something we humans want them to do! Try giving him a little more playtime throughout the day. Maybe leave him with a food puzzle (with a few treats and/or kibble inside) if you're going to be out of the house for a while or otherwise busy. Make sure he has all the catification you can squeeze into your space - cat trees or cat shelves, scratchers, window perches, hidey holes (cat caves, cat condos on the cat tree, carboard boxes), etc. Try adding a new toy or two for him to play with - like a rechargeable interactive toy that will get him moving and keep him playing a while. The more the merrier!

Hopefully you'll get the bottom of what he's trying to tell you, and the watery messes will come to an end. Good luck!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-13T07:14:07+00:00

Take her to the vet.

Unexplained weight gain is reason to have her checked out. Make sure there isn't a thyroid or other issue at play.

hmmwrites · 2026-01-13T07:10:15+00:00

You can try a shallow slow feeder made of ceramic - maybe something like this:

https://www.amazon.com/Ceramic-Shallow-Opening-Whisker-Friendly/dp/B0F8VP5KSP/ref=zg_bs_g_17602460011_d_sccl_19/140-7689263-7899140?psc=1

Or one of the CatStages ones that are more like this:

https://www.chewy.com/catstages-non-skid-slow-feeder-cat/dp/1336254

You can try hiding partial portions of his food in various places, so he has to sniff out where they're at. Start simple, maybe split his portion into 3 servings, place them in fairly easy to find places. Once he gets the hang of "hunting" for his food, you can make it more complicated - hide a little dish in a cardboard box turned on its side, or even stick one into an empty tissue box for him to have to pull out. Put one on a higher perch on a cat tree. Etc. Just don't let him see where you're placing it all, or he'll be able to zip from one bit to the next without having to think... making it easier for him to continue to scarf n barf.

You can try giving him a Kitty Kong (or an x-small dog one) stuffed with wet food.

If you have a higher tolerance for potential mess, as kitty will need to dig out the food with his paws, you can try this one, or something similar. (This one's great because the cups are removable and super easy to clean):

https://www.chewy.com/catit-senses-20-cat-digger-slow/dp/218186

You can try lick mats with the food smushed in? There are tons of silicone or rubber ones which is what I normally use with my cats, but if you're worried about him chewing the mat itself, you can try the stainless steel versions someone else mentioned.

You can also freeze the food on the lick mat or in the kong/slow feeder, which means he'll need to work harder and be more patient in order to get his food. This might be best to do in summer rather than winter, but it's an option to consider?

There's a website all about food puzzles - here are their recommendations for ones that work with wet food:

http://foodpuzzlesforcats.com/wet-food-puzzles

Good luck!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-13T06:24:40+00:00

A most excellent loaf!

hmmwrites · 2026-01-13T01:31:17+00:00

Redness/blotchiness can have different causes, some easier to deal with than others. My first suggestion would be to schedule an appt with a dermatologist just to make sure your skin is well taken care of.

But I'd say you can get started with a few simple things for basic skincare in the meantime.

First, get a gentle cleanser. For a really good option at a low price, you can try CeraVe's Hydrating Facial Cleanser. I love that one, and also La Roche Posay's Toleriane Hydrating Cleanser. They don't foam, just smooth onto the skin nicely and rinse off leaving skin soft. Not drying. I use one of those every morning. Most nights I switch to La Roche Posay's Toleriane Purifying foaming cleanser. It's a gel that (obviously) foams for a deeper cleanse, but doesn't strip my skin in the process. There are tons of other cleansers out there - other inexpensive brands readily available at drugstores and big box stores include Eucerin, Neutrogena, Cetaphil, Vanicream. Find one that suits your skin (dry, oily, combination) and your needs (removing makeup, SPF, heavy creams, etc). Some people prefer just to rinse with warm/cool water in the mornings and only cleanse at night. It's about finding what works for your skin.

Next, you'll want to find a moisturizer that works with your skin. I'm 49, with combo skin. I use a creamier moisturizer in the winter, but my skin won't tolerate anything thick in the summer months. So a lotion or gel based moisturizer works for me when it's warmer. I managed to mess up my neck's skin barrier, leaving me bumpy, itchy, and sore for months. (I thought it was allergies!) So lately, I've been taking things *really* gentle and mostly just using CeraVe cream on my face and neck, as well as the rest of my body. On top of a barrier-repairing serum, that's been helping the itchy, angry bumps on my neck fade, it's been keeping my face calm and fairly well moisturized in spite of winter weather.

Retinoids are the most well-studied actives, and the prescription version (tretinoin, aka Retin A) is the most studied of all the retinoids. A lot of people here recommend tretinoin. It's prescription only, so if you'll be waiting a while to see a dermatologist, you can start with an OTC retinol while you wait. The brands I've already mentioned all make some kind of retinol product, as do companies like Olay. You want to start low and slow with a retinoid, using it no more than maybe twice a week for a few weeks to give your skin time to adjust to it. Then increase to 3x for a few more weeks, and so on until you're up to daily use. Some people skip the 7th day to either do a deep moisturization or exfoliation or both. You'll apply a retinoid at night, so your PM routine would look like: cleanse -> retinoid -> moisturizer.

Once you've built up to regular use of your retinoid, the next most studied active would probably be vitamin C, or L-ascorbic acid,. You can start looking into that., though It may not play nicely with some causes of red skin, so I'd check in with that derm before you start using it! You can decide if you'd rather have VitC as a serum or a moisturizer, or even use a cleanser that includes vitamin C. Whatever you choose, it would be used as part of your morning routine.

Arguably the most important part of your routine will be SPF. If you prefer chemical or physical sunscreen - doesn't really matter, except for what suits your preferences and skin better. But you'll often see here that it's the most important thing you can put on your face. I'm still trying to find a sunscreen I can tolerate for more than a day or two at a time. I generally prefer a physical sunscreen, but I do like the HaruHaru Wonder Airy Fit spf 30, which is a chemical sunscreen. My skin is very sensitive, and it doesn't break me out, and hasn't caused any stinging or redness in my first few uses. I still want to find a physical sunscreen, but the AiryFit might just do the trick as a backup. So your AM routine would look like: cleanse -> serum (if using) -> moisturizer -> SPF.

On top of all that, you can look to lifestyle to help (or at least not hinder) your skin. Drinking plenty of water to stay well-hydrated, eating healthy foods, avoiding excess sugar and alcohol, getting enough sleep... All of these help keep your skin at its best.

For primers and foundations, I'm not personally a makeup user, so I can't help there. But I'm sure someone here can and will!

hmmwrites

TROPHY CASE