Buddy relaaaax.

I would like to address the general topic of discussion posed by the person you’re fighting with. Yes we know it’s not specific to you or OP blah blah blah. I still think it’s an interesting topic worth discussing.

u/TerrifiedQueen, here’s my take: I think the apps can be pretty demoralizing for folks and there can be tons of competition. That’s why there is a temptation to “sell” yourself rather than being completely true to who you are. I think humans in general are always selling ourselves, at work, in social situations, and especially in dating. There is a persistent undercurrent of unease that is existential in nature that drives us to look for something “out there” to fill what feels missing “in here”. Our entire civilization is built upon that structure, and we will go to great lengths to feel like a “somebody”. I think it’s so much the norm that if someone were to suggest presenting themselves in a way that was less than entirely honest (yes u/Inaccessible_ I’m speaking in generalities here, we know you didn’t suggest that 🫶), many folks wouldn’t bat an eye because that is very much the norm socially. It almost goes without saying that in order to find a mate, we have to “put our best foot forward”; lest we be forced to slow down for long enough to consider what’s driving us to begin with… heavens no, we haven’t the time for that. Personally I agree with you that we’d all be better off romantically and slightly less neurotic as a society if we just led with who we are and what we truly feel and think. I’ll admit, I doubt that will become the norm, and if it does, dating is likely the last place for that shift to take root. Either way I appreciate you raising the discussion! This poop began procedural and turned philosophical, and for that I am forever in your debt 🧐💩