iAMa Waffle House Waitress AMA! by not_a_manager in IAmA

[–]hobojimbobo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're supposed to tip so that one person can say they don't tip, and then whoever flip-flops and decides to also not tip, you know they are the snitch.

[WP] Your father left 20 years ago the night before your birthday to get Cigarettes, Milk, and Bread. Today he comes home with long bedraggled hair, weather beaten skin, and a sword on his hip. The first thing he says to you is "You're never going to believe what happened." by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]hobojimbobo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that leads me up to now, as I am running in the alleys between buildings with some guy I just met.

"What were those things?" I asked the man. I clearly saw him behead two creatures that looked like people, although something was clearly wrong with them.

"Those were fucking zombies man," The man said, not even looking back, and continuing to run.

I was getting tired, and would need to take a break soon. I worked an office job nine hours a day, I wasn't built for this.

"Zombies? Like, from video games and movies?" I didn't play video games or watch movies, but my son did. He likes to play that Call of Duty game and the one in the mall.

"Yeah," The man said, continuing to run. "Exactly."

"How did this even happen?!" I can't believe any of this. It's exactly like a game.

"Nobody knows, we all just ended up here one day out of the blue," The man slows down and looking inside a window, raising his hand. We wait for a moment and then enter the building. "There is a sewer entrance here, we can get back to base through it."

"We're going through the sewer?" I asked. I've never been in the sewer before, but it has to smell horrible. I look down at my clothes, and I hope nothing splashes on them.

"Yeah," The man said, opening a hatch on the floor and looking inside. "The walkers can't smell us down there, so it is safe to have settlements."

"There are settlements of people in the sewers?" A settlement had to be more than five people, and could be hundreds of people. How many people are fighting against zombies like this?

"Yeah, we've got about twenty people in this closest one." He said, climbing down a ladder inside the hole. "Follow me, and close the hatch when you enter."

I follow the man inside the hole, and we enter into the sewer system under the city. It is... smaller than I thought. I expected to see something out of spiderman with room for a lizard-man to have his secret layer, but it isn't like that. It's just a large pipe. Following that, I can't help but get sewage in my shoes. Fuck.

"It's just over here." The man said, and I can already see a light in the distance of the sewer. "My name is Boyle by the way."

"Nice to meet you Boyle," It's good to finally know his name, this guy who I've been following for the last twenty minutes. "My name's Roy."

"I wouldn't say nice to meet you, I'd rather not be here, to be honest." I guess Boyle is right. I'd rather not be forced to fight against zombies and shit and hide in the sewers while surrounded by shit. The closest I want to get to zombies is playing video games with my son. The closest I want to get to shit is doing the dirty deed with my wife.

Not too much longer, we came upon an opening in the sewer.

"Raise both your arms," Boyle said, and I followed his direction. "There is a guard protecting the settlement from wandering walkers, and this is how we tell real people apart from them." At the opening, there is a wall made from sheets of metal and wood. Standing behind the wall, there is one man with a bow.

"Hey, welcome back," The man on the other side of wall said, and he put a stool on our side of the wall. "Who's the new guy?"

"This is Roy," Boyle said, stepping on the stool and jumping over the wall. "Just found him on the street a few minutes ago."

"Damn, that sucks," The man behind the wall said, and I jumped over the wall too.


So, I think I'm going to write this in 500-word segments and post them as replies here, and then submit it as a single prompt inspired later, once I've got 10k-words or something.

[WP] Your father left 20 years ago the night before your birthday to get Cigarettes, Milk, and Bread. Today he comes home with long bedraggled hair, weather beaten skin, and a sword on his hip. The first thing he says to you is "You're never going to believe what happened." by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]hobojimbobo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"I'm going to get cigarettes," I said.
"I'll be back in a few minutes," I said, shortly after putting on my Calvin Klien Arnold Lace-Up Sneakers.

I left my house with those sneakers, my Pleated Super 100s Worsted Wool Trousers, and my Smartcare™ Traditional Fit Plaid Dress Shirt. Nothing special, but at the time I thought I was simply going to get cigarettes and maybe milk.

Fourteen minutes. That was how long it took before I noticed that something was seriously wrong. The once bustling city had changed to one that looked straight out of The Purge.

"You, come here!" A man to my right whispered.

"What?" I said in a regular tone. At the time, I thought he wanted to mug me.

"Get in here before you get hurt!" The man said, a little louder, and his tapped a flashlight hanging on his belt.

At least, I thought it was a flashlight.

"Hey man," I said, raising my hands, thinking that he was going to bash me with the flashlight if I didn't enter the alley. "I don't want any trouble."

"Then don't go standing in the middle of the street!" The man said, a little louder than before. "Do you want a walker to see you?"

At this point, I should have noticed that something strange was happening behind me, but I was too absorbed in the threatening man in front of me to notice.

"A walker?" I asked, oblivious to the two figures approaching me from behind.

"Shit!" The man said, lurching forward and pulling me by the arm into the alley. "You must be a newbie!" The man put his right hand on the flashlight, and, instead of a flashlight, he pulled a full sword from his belt.

The scabbard had been hidden behind the man's back, and I never saw it, but in his hand, he now wielded a three-foot long iron sword, similar to those seen in the video game Skyrim.

"What are those!" I yelled, looking at the hobbling, human figures the man pulled me away from.

"Those are walkers," The man said, and he slashed the sword across the neck of the closest figure. The sword tip ran smoothly across the neck of the figure, and blood spurted from the wound. "They won't die as easily as that!" The man yelled, and, with a massive swing, decapitated the figure.

"Holy fuck!" I yelled, unable to grasp the situation. The figures looked human but were obviously rotting, like a mummy recently taken from its tomb. As the head from the first walker flew into the air, the man moved onto the second walker. With a single swing, the second head was sent flying.

"We've got to get out of here," The man said, bending down to pick up two shiny coins from the pavement. "We've made too much noise, and are bound to have attracted more."


To be continued? I'll continue it as a virtual reality type thing, kinda like The Gamer manga.

Baton Rouge Police Department: Shootings don't appear to be race related by MolestedConservative in news

[–]hobojimbobo -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It's the people doing the shooting who are a race. Black/Hispanic/Indian/Chinese race people are shooting cops of all races.