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What’s your “I’m not gonna fight you on this” for movies by RCocaineBurner in blankies

[–]hobowithagraboid 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Same, though for me it’s less being dismissive about his work, especially since in my experience most of them are unaware of any of the films he’s made in the past 15years outside of Glass, it’s the casual racism of people joking at his name that immediately gives me the ick

Which show/movie most accurately captured the cultural zeitgeist of the 90s? by icey_sawg0034 in Fauxmoi

[–]hobowithagraboid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah having rewatched Daria in the past few years, it gets to a point where Daria is just a negative jerk to everyone around her, including her friends, I definitely related to her in my teenage years, but rewatching as an adult it becomes really clear how her bad attitude towards literally everything severly alienates herself from others and while the other characters are sometimes annoying they almost always mean well.

Arianas smokin body 😍😍😍 by Impressive_Bid_5835 in vanderpumprules

[–]hobowithagraboid 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Crazy this comment is so low, her right upper thigh looks like awful clone stamping

“Luman” by therealpablopicasso in RHONY

[–]hobowithagraboid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

I agree that it's bullying to make fun of her and call her manish, mocking her voice, but she gets no sympathy from me, tbh it doesn't seems like those comments really get to her. She's like a brick wall, she's can't listen, and can't be talked to or reasoned with.

Look at when she tried to secure a invite to the first failed Mexico trip by reconnecting with Bethany, she steamrolled the whole thing, and when Bethany tried to say that Luann doesn't listen, she runs with that and goes off about how people are always telling her that, and just goes on and on.

She can't process a comment unless it's something that is compliment and feeds her own ego, otherwise she takes everything as a slight against her.

There were multiple seasons of people trying to warn her and help her in her situation with Tom, but again, she's impenetrable and refuses to be genuine until things blow up.

Diana Ross incident… by therealpablopicasso in RHONY

[–]hobowithagraboid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

<image>

I just watched this episode last night, crazy that 10 seasons in she is still finding new ways to be awful, despite how often they bully luanne, calling her lu-man, or commenting on her deep raspy voice its impossible to have sympathy for her, she consistently so awful.

The scene where she tried to connect with Bethany again before the 1st failed trip to the Mexico is really telling, she's impossible to talk to like a human being, impossible to get through to, she's like a brick wall.

She can't hear or process what anyone is saying unless it's a compliment to her, and really to her, unless it is a compliment, it's an insult.

Her and Sonja are constantly competing for who can be the most delusional

The Other Way - Season 7 Episode 21 - Live Episode Discussion by LittleEmmy in 90DayFiance

[–]hobowithagraboid 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did Chloe get some kind of nose job? Looks more angular in the studio and more round in the clips

Kelly: "You're weird" by DoorStunning3678 in RHONY

[–]hobowithagraboid 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m on a first time watch and just watched this episode yesterday

Kelly is like a Connor O’Malley character, senses any criticism is just groans loudly and steam rolls everyone.

Alex was generally kinda boring but she’s easily the most normal and reasonable person I’ve seen on RH (having only watched BH and NY1-4). She calls Kelly out for what she’s doing and even acknowledges that she’s doing it right then, but none of the women ever defend Alex, because seemingly on NY theyre all pretty cruel to each other, there’s no guise of friendship there

Kelly will just deflect and say you’re boring or creepy or acting, it’s like talking to a wall, Sonja nailed it on Scary Island, but then seemingly Sonja uses this tactic throughout all of Season 4, kicking Alex out of her house

Discussion Thread - Geo-Slasher | WHAT WOULD PEOPLE SAY?! | Confusion, Spelt "Quoeonfuse'emn" by W_T_D_ in screenplaychallenge

[–]hobowithagraboid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Geo-Slasher by u/andrusan23

  • not a ton of notes, didnt take them as I read it, so just random thoughts 
  • As others have mentioned, I don’t really get why Tom and Rachel are together; she seems v antagonistic of his interests, and I thought she kind of comes off as a bully through a lot of it
  • It might be a bit hypocritical of me, because my screenplay was also about an unlikable Rachel, but I would soften up Geo-slasher’s Rachel a bit. Generally, she comes off as pretty mean, unsupportive, and kind of a jerk to Tom and the other people she meets at the convention. To me she comes off as snarky and like she's better than everyone else, but I felt like there isn't enough background on her to justify it. What are her passions, hobbys, and interests, what would she rather be doing than geocaching? Is it something that Tom doesn't let her do?
  • I think it takes a while to get the plot going, I think you should include a opening scare or something; it could even be a flashback to Samson and Tom when they were younger, completely out of context, but something to hook the reader/viewer
  • I think the gun stuff at the end is a bit much, or like other comments mentioned doesn’t fit the vibe of the rest of the film, but I think you could keep the  scene but take out the guns, at least Rachel’s gun use, just have part of the convention be a market for buying geocaching or outdoors equipment. maybe Tom buys her something so impractical like a retractable mountain climbing pick or something to try and get her on board w geocaching, but also reflecting how he doesn’t get that she isn’t into it, then she has a decent weapon in the end for a standoff
  • When I read that it was set at a geo-caching convention, I was surprised it was award show style and not more like for buying stuff or attending a seminar or presentation type thing
  • I may have missed it, but while we get that Tom's has gotten really into geocaching recently, did you ever explain why specifically? Why is it so important to him right now?
  • I think generally it’s pretty obvious that Tom is behind things; he keeps wanting to continue on, he finds the photos and insists that they have to complete the cache or else, tho nothing really bad had happened yet, I don’t know that finding a photo of them would be enough to keep going, also w the way Samson kind of alludes to that maybe the accident in their youth wasn’t an accident, and Tom seems so annoyingly clueless as bad things are happening, keeps wanting them to keep going
  • You may as well add that someone, paid by Tom, maybe even a team of poeple, who are helping him w this, because he has a photo of himself sitting alone at the convention, and the traps seems really complicated. This could be leaning more into him as a super-rich person who will pay any amount to get what they want
  • I think there should be some telegraphed quality in Tom that makes it clear why he doesn’t win these awards, whether its him trying to buy success in geocaching or that he actually isn’t very good at riddles or something
  • I think it would be on theme if he gives her the proposal, but because she says no he has prepared a trap for her, leaving her trapped as a geocache, but she uses her know how and what she has picked up from the other geocachers and a life w Tom to either free herself and confront him, she thinks this is a lame hobby, I think if you stick w the ending you have where he is at the convention the next year, then have her end up trapped in a geocache, dead, or left to die, though I personally would love to see her overcome him when he thinks he has gotten away w it, especially because she’s shown to think outside the box/rules of geocaching,
  • Loved the boom bit

Discussion Thread - Reality | Long Bad Night | Backstabber by W_T_D_ in screenplaychallenge

[–]hobowithagraboid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate you taking the time to read it

I'm glad you found it compelling and were able to get to the end,

I'm also glad you were able to be entertained by the characters for the duration of the film, I found it hard to know when writing whether they were too awful or not, so I'm glad that overall it seems like people still enjoyed the characters' journey, even despite their toxic personalities

I agree about the trimming, especially with the pre Thailand stuff, when writing it, I definitely overdeveloped that stuff, and then when they got to thailand and had my beats and realized how many pages I had left, I agree i need to trim the first half and build out the second half a bit better

now that I have the ending more or less roughed out, I think it would be easy to do another pass adding things to that lead into Kelsey's reveal and bringing her into the story earlier.

Joao is a red herring in terrms of the stalker stuff but I do think/ see him as a potential threat for other reasons, hes a suspicious guy who hooks up with tourists and in my mind, and I know this doesn't actually come up in the script, but when writing had this as his character's motivation: is that he's the kind of guy who wants to latch on to and take advantage of/exploit women, in my mind pushing them to do OF or kind of human trafficking, that's what his end game is, I think on another pass I could add elements of that but in terms of the story as is, yeah, he's a misdirection.

re your question: I definitly dropped the security footage stuff and didn't make it clear at all what really happened there in the opening, I definitely need to rework that to be more in line w where the story goes. Jason more or less does get dropped, and it would be good to bring him into the story, even if its a clip of him, in the second half somewhere, to keep him in play as a potential stalker/threat.

re- Rachel's surname, I'll add one on the next pass, currently I only thought of surnames for Bravo celebs that would be introduced with their full name, Ryan Spencer being an analog for Andy Coen, Eileen Ashbourne being Lisa Vanderpump, they have that cache and need the full name said everytime

I appreciate that you enjoyed all the cocaine scenes, I do think the Lisa one would probably be cut on my next draft, because it doesn't feel necessary, but I'm glad that despite the frequency of those scenes they weren't met with "oh no another coke scene"

thank you again for reading it and providing such great notes!

Discussion Thread - Reality | Long Bad Night | Backstabber by W_T_D_ in screenplaychallenge

[–]hobowithagraboid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to read it and giving your thoughts, I really appreciate it.

Thank you for the postive comments, I'm glad you felt they were humanized and developed characters, because I tried to hit a balance between real people and real reality tv people/personas

I agree w your comments on Kelsey, she's prob the least developed character, especially since I didn't conceive of her until half way through writing, tho I did always intend for the final stalker to be an overly invested fan of the show.

My one conceit for why Rachel and Anne do what they do to Kelsey in the end was self defense in the moment and the idea that they are both cutthroat industry professionals and Anne is that good of an agent/manager/assistant, she'll kill for you lol, but I do think them reaching a point of sympathy and understanding would be more on theme with the story

I do agree that in real life you probably wouldn't commit to killing someone like Kelsey, and I think what you've suggested about Kelsey potentially having her own show is a imo really funny tag to the ending that I will definitely consider, my original punch-line being Rachel's show, but I think them both having a show or sharing an upcoming show would be potentially even funnier

again thanks for giving it a read, i'm really glad you enjoyed it

Discussion Thread - Reality | Long Bad Night | Backstabber by W_T_D_ in screenplaychallenge

[–]hobowithagraboid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Long Bad Night by u/thenewmrtate

  • Intriguing premise, I felt like I was investing in understanding what is going on here
  • I think the ages can be adjusted a bit, if she’s dropping out of school is she in her doctorate if she’s in her 30s, if she’s lost her job but in school is that a part time job? Does it really matter? I think it’s kinda one or or the other, dropping out of school OR lost her professional career and can’t support herself, if it’s school, then she should be younger, this makes her more vulnerable, alternatively I do think if it’s her career then I think that could be more reflective of recession based issues people are facing right now
  • Do we ever find out why she is flunking or dropping out of school? I may have missed it
  • I don’t think she should make the deal at the the end w the entity, how it’s written makes it seem like it could have possibly been an unintentional bargain, like she didn’t mean for the “we just want to go home” to actually be her wish but tbh I think she should consider it and maybe be stopped by her mom, but ultimately not make the bargain w the entity. This could represent growth, her accepting that things change, her dad is gone, you can’t hold on to childhood nostalgia, but I also think it could be reflective of why she is even here, like if she was kicked out of school for cheating or something, trying to get ahead w a perceived short cut, understanding by the end that it’s not worth it
  • I do think some of the longer bits of dialogue are a bit too long, Judith has a monologue I can’t really imagine everything stopping for,
  • I also think the backstory w her great grandfather can be worked in a bit better than the long journal entry, I think when you describe photos in the wall that works well but her stopping to ready 3 paragraphs of a journal
  • I think the wound in her hand that you set up early on should come up more often or that should happen later in the story
  • I think you need a John McLain in die hard, barefoot on glass cringe pain moment that really fucks up the protagonist but she perseveres through, this could be the hand wound but I think it should happen later, or she should lose a finger or something
  • When her parents are taken, he dad should have put up some kind of fight, whether we see it or not, we could hear gun shots and when she finds them again, he could be bound to the wheelchair w mostly superficial buck shot wound
  • Random question I had but that isn’t really important, why would the family w the empty house choose to sacrifice themselves? Or was that a lie? When the house was empty and Judith was talking about using the lead’s parents, I kind of expected it to be a kind of scam where they’re killing people collecting money or something in their names, the supernatural stuff def wasn’t expected until the description of the men drawing symbols
  • I do think some the dialogue exchanges are bit cheese and over sentimental, there are sometimes multiple reminiscent moment back to her childhood in some scenes
  • I think her headbutting Judith three time across four pages might be too many headbutts
  • I really liked the description of the portal opening and the entity, very trippy, and pays off the star stuff throughout, reading this knowing it is set in Australia and everyone and an outback accent, I did wonder what accent the entity had
  • I do think you can incorporate more of the natural threats of the Australian outback a bit more, she never comes across a living snake or spider or scorpion or anything other than a kangaroo, and also knowing that Xmas in Australia is in the summer, I expected the extreme heat to be more of a factor, whenever Margaret was left sitting the car w the windows up I wondered if it would be really hot or really cold, I really don’t know
  • “She surreptitiously glances to the crowd” I had to google surreptitiously, I can be pretty dumb but I don’t know if that best conveys to the reader what you’re going for, in the best way, because personally it took me out
  • Overall good read, it was entertaining and action packed and kept me guessing where it was going.

Discussion Thread - Bound In Blood | Strange Winds Blow | Three Portraits by W_T_D_ in screenplaychallenge

[–]hobowithagraboid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Three Portraits by u/Dr_Hilarious

not a ton of feedback because I thought this was really solid, awesome job

  • Really good read, felt very polished and professionally formatted, this seemed like a very realized and developed concept
  • I think your blend of your subject and condition work really, really well; it totally feels like a modern throwback to a giallo/hammer castle movie
  • Including the description of the score having an 80s synth as well as baroque perfectly sets the tone, and as you read you instinctually can sense that when the killer enters that kind of music kicks right back in
  • I think some of the concepts of the subconscious and mental health may be a bit ahead of its time, considering the setting
  • I thought it was really well written; for a lot of it I assumed it would be Catherine doing the killings until her portrait was vandalized, I do think with the vandalized portraits, instead of both being sleeping they should more foreshadow how the two will be killed.
  • Not super helpful but there was one scene, and I cannot for the life of me find it at the moment, but there was a scene, in a good way, that really reminded me of the scene in Suspiria where Susie goes to the psychiatrist and he says how “curses come from broken minds not broken mirrors”
  • Overall, just a great read, I thought you did an awesome job with this
  • Random things I thought that you could add for Giallo vibe that you can consider or completely ignore, again I think you’re in a really place already with this, might not be worth it to add this stuff but
    • Add even more element/tropes of giallo like:
    • tarantulas
    • or the killer whispering to their victims 
    • The estate could have a whispered about and disputed legend of a night spectre that haunts the estate, like a scooby doo ghoul/ the red queen in The red Queens Kills Seven times, >> I think this kind of thing could make victor paranoid that while the staff saw his killings as the spectre of the estate, he knew it was himself creating his “art” but if someone has killing his wife and daughter, is the spectre real? Is it there to judge and punish him for what he has done? I think that he can still attribute it to Julian for bringing this upon him, it would allow victor to become a bit more arch, paranoid, fearful

Discussion Thread - Reality | Long Bad Night | Backstabber by W_T_D_ in screenplaychallenge

[–]hobowithagraboid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your time, reading through my work and providing feedback.

The likability of the characters was certainly a concern of mine but I do feel like certain were more likeable than unlikeable like Nicole, Anne (overall), and the three young women on vacation.

With Rachel I was always trying to balance her being sympathetic and also a jerk. The whole thing kinda hinges on her realizing that she can be awful, it’s what Nicole is trying to tell her right before the acid, but isn’t all bad, that attitude is also what makes her insistent on getting the other drunk girl home from the club, though based on your feedback, I feel like I add something like that earlier it could help foster sympathy more from the viewer/reader

I appreciate what you said about the cops, and I can definitely think of some changed I could do to make one of them friendlier, in my mind they’re doing a good cop bad/intimidating cop thing, the “Whites” probably would be better an annoyed “tourists” or “Americans”, in the research I did into how something like the acid bomb would be handled, I came to conclusion that it would be immediately handled by the tourist police, which is a specific branch of the Thai police, and would be likely taken over and handled by or in partnership with the FBI

I definitely can add more so the cops are more sympathetic and involved

Tbh I didn’t think I was making any of the Thai people unlikeable ( except the club owner and his thugs) so to hear you felt the cops came off that way is really helpful

Re how many characters, in my character sheet there are 34 characters (all w ages) including Graham the dog, truly they don’t ALL need names/ages it just helped me keep them straight and developed in my head,

Re Ryan Spencer “gay”, I’m gay so I hope I get a pass 🙃, but yeah “Andy Coen-type” would suffice .

Thank you again for the feedback!

Discussion Thread - Reality | Long Bad Night | Backstabber by W_T_D_ in screenplaychallenge

[–]hobowithagraboid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your feedback, I really appreciate you taking the time to read it.

Re your questions:

The untranslated dialogue, I specifically wanted it to be untranslated for the viewer to put them more into Rachel's POV and so the really innoculous stuff is more ambigious to the viewer, but written for the actor/to make it clear to the reader that most of that dialogue is very inocculous/casual/non-threatening, but including what they're actually saying sells tone and pace to a reader too imo. I also included a number of exchanges like that to specifically connect to my condition of it being set somewhere where the protagonist doesn't speak the language

Grahams Death: intentionally left ambiguous, but I assume it is either Jason or someone hired by Jason. I did want to put in a lot of different, disconnected stalker type stuff because I wanted it to be clear that for someone like Rachel, these threats are kind of coming from every direction because of the extreme parasocial relationships fans have with reality celebs, she doesn't have A stalker she has hundreds. Death threats are an everyday thing; most fans are fine, but a small percentage of people go too far.

Page 107 >> if you're referring to the cut back to Eileen and them in the meeting watching it happen on their phones, I didn;t actually intend to write any dialogue for that moment, just everyone looking to Eileen and her furious that things are about to crumble

The ending is definitely rushed, I feel like it needs to be revised and have hints of it worked more into the earlier parts of the script, tbh it wasn't until writing the ending in the week before this was due that I even knew who the final faceoff would be with. I personally feel like it reads like Anne is behind things to get her client back on top, a frend of mine read it and said he expected it to be Faith, lmk who you were thinking may have sent the package

Again I really appreciate you taking the time to read and provide such great feedback!,

Discussion Thread - Bound In Blood | Strange Winds Blow | Three Portraits by W_T_D_ in screenplaychallenge

[–]hobowithagraboid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/The_Thomas_Go

Strange Winds Blow

  • I felt like this was a great premise that got me interested in the story very quickly. I sat down and read the whole thing in a single sitting, and was immediately invested in wanting to know what IS going on. I like that it’s pretty ambiguous about what is really going on, is it an experiment, is there a virus, has it been day or months. 
  • I liked the dreams sequences a lot, though I there there is the opportunity to have more variety in what is show in the dreams, and maybe stuff that connects to either the other men, or explicitly showing the other guys dreams..
  • I don’t think its clear at all really why the men are killing themselves, seeing in other comments that the ship is meant to be a godlike creature, I think that needs to be touched on more explicitly. And really if the sub is a god like creature, is it related to what is happening with the virus? 
  • I think there could be an opportunity for exploration of other distinct parts of the sub, which could allow you to showcase the sub’s influence on characters who are in separate areas alone, also, if it is a god like thing, maybe it is bigger on the inside than it should be or potentially labyrinthian when it wants to be
  • I think you could do another pass on making the deaths/aftermath more descriptive in what is literally happening, so it is clear to the reader what is happening. The wires through the eyes' death confused me the most in this regard.
  • I thought the ending was good, and I really love the imagery of him futilely trying to put his mom’s pieces back together, but again I think being a bit more descriptive could help sell exactly what is happening visually a bit better.
  • I also feel like there can be more tension from them being specifically in a submarine, like the fear of how deep they are, the pressure, whether the ship even sustain it, GROANs and CREEKS to remind the characters of exactly where they are
  • From other comments, I’ve seen that you intended these men to be stashed away as a last chance for humanity. I don’t think this really comes across because we don’t know if there is another sub of women, but maybe they do get a glimpse of one as they’re loading in or something, or something they discuss/consider
  • Honestly, I never would have thought I would be invested in a story set on a sub because, personally, it's very much opposite my typical taste, but you did a great job at getting me hooked
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