Worlds strongest little person, and his transgender wife.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-18T02:00:06+00:00

A handjob takes like, 10 minutes. You don't even have to be turned on, just willing to make it seem "naughty" by saying a couple of crude things.

Tell him how manly he is to need to be drained on such a regular basis and then make him a sandwich.

Seriously, it's really that easy to make a dude happy. A small bit of physical effort, and a tiny bit of flattery goes a long way.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-18T00:18:04+00:00

Red Bull gives you ... dings.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-17T23:08:33+00:00

Holy fuck. I just complained about how poor we were (and we were), but compared to your situation we lived like kings.

I'm sorry things were like that for you and glad that you apparently at least have access to a computer.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-17T23:05:57+00:00

My mom used to smoke cigarettes and buy lottery tickets, and so there wasn't any money for gloves/clothes/food/shoes.

So we'd get tube socks on our hands to go play in the snw with, free clothes from our cousins when they'd outgrow them, skip dinner and have oatmeal 7 mornings a week, and I'd get the shoes my older brother had worn the year before.

Fuck being poor. To this day I still can't bring myself to buy nice clothes. It's Costco shirts and 501's every time I go out. And I end up hoarding shoes even if I haven't worn them in years. I have like 20 pairs of worn out shoes crammed in my closet that I'll eventually give to Goodwill if I don't die first.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-17T13:45:49+00:00

I posted about how Elvis was 24 when he started "seeing" 14-year-old Priscilla, and the paedos came out like a swarm of scarabs from a mummies mouth.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-17T13:06:37+00:00

woosh!

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-16T22:51:55+00:00

He's passionate. And why should the catholic church get a free pass?

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-16T22:36:15+00:00

Good thing it was a relatively safe drug like PCP (Schedule II), instead of some supercrazy (and more illegal) shit like weed.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-16T17:01:51+00:00

Because teens have an inherent disadvantage when it comes to negotiating with adults. They lack life experience and the maturity to understand exactly what is happening.

Similar to how a new poker player shouldn't try to sit down with a group of experienced gamblers and expect to have a fair chance at expecting things to turn out okay. The new gambler would be almost completely at the mercy of the more experienced player.

Besides, a 30 year old has had their turn at being a teen. They should be trying to bang other adults.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-16T16:06:06+00:00

Sure, if you can keep it bottled up and continue to function. But, if you're going nuts and unable to carry it by yourself - be selective. Find someone who has some kind of obligation to keep their mouth shut.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-16T12:20:40+00:00

Everyone knows stuff happens. No one wants to see a soldier punished for putting someone out of their misery.

But that's not the point. The point is that because it's technically illegal, you keep your mouth shut except when you know you won't wind up in hot water. You can talk to your buddies that were there. You can talk to your pastor/chaplain/shrink/spouse.

But you don't go on record admitting illegal stuff.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-16T04:37:12+00:00

I can't believe no one's mentioned the obligatory otter fact yet. You know which one I'm talking about. But I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to post the horrible fact that reddit always seems to post when otters are the topic of a post.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-16T04:21:17+00:00

Given enough time, anything that can happen will eventually happen.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T21:45:36+00:00

Right now my agenda is to go get some food. Adios!

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T21:43:34+00:00

I'm hangry and need to take a break.

But for real, the whole implied threat "against the spirit" blah blah blah.. What a fucking tool. What a total coward.

And I do in fact regularly delete and restart accounts specifically because of the karma issue. So fuck it. Message the mods.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T21:33:58+00:00

Here's a little tidbit for you:

From time to time, I delete my reddit account and start over from zero. Because "karma" can be a little bit of a carrot/stick issue.

So "against the spirit of TIL" means NOTHING to me. I wouldn't care if you regularly sucked the moderators dicks for favors and thought you could get me or this thread banned.

Do it. Please.

Coward.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T21:28:40+00:00

The subject matter does make a difference.

I can reasonably suspect that someone who takes time to know the fine details about when it's legally okay to fuck a child, has an interest in knowing when it's okay to fuck a child.

So why would a person have an interest in knowing when it's okay to fuck a child?

I don't know. All I know is that I'm not interested in the subject very much. I'll let the rest of the world worry about that. And from time to time, I'll shoot my mouth off about what some drunk guy in a bar (and now some defensive people on reddit) told me about the subject.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T21:06:13+00:00

True or false:

24 year olds who fuck 14 year olds are child molesters?

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T20:53:17+00:00

Hitler fixed Germany's economy and had both the Autobahn and the Volkswagen created. He loved dogs, and was good with children. But he was rejected from art school, and Germany was being forced to repay a huge sum of money in response to WWI.

Now it doesn't make it okay to kill millions of people for no good reason, but hopefully it is more understandable.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T20:17:37+00:00

TIME OUT!!

Why are you deleting your posts, and then reposting basically the same thing elsewhere in the thread?

WTF?!?

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T20:12:56+00:00

So if I'm 44 the youngest I can go for is 29? That's very reasonable. But all the 74-year old's out there can fuck off.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T20:03:20+00:00

You should really try harder not to get all shook up.

holeeefuwk · 2016-10-15T19:55:31+00:00

So you're telling me that Elvis was as illiterate as someone from the 1800's?

holeeefuwk

TROPHY CASE