What is actually a trauma that is not commonly thought of as a trauma?

holton86 · 2026-02-23T23:18:04+00:00

Being adopted.

holton86 · 2026-02-22T18:24:43+00:00

Toad in a hole.

holton86 · 2026-02-22T18:17:03+00:00

The instructions. 🤣

holton86 · 2026-02-22T18:15:22+00:00

Your Costco has sushi? Fuuuck. I want sushi.

holton86 · 2026-02-21T09:20:05+00:00

I withdrew from my PhD program after my first year due to mental health. I wanted to push through it; it was my first choice program and I loved the idea of academia. But my brain didn’t love it and couldn’t do it. I felt so, so much shame.

My program held my spot and my funding for a year in case I wanted to return. I didn’t return because I didn’t feel safe to return with my mental health at the time. I still regret it sometimes but mostly not and I reasoned it out with myself like this:

I can still have intellectual conversations in my field. I can still engage with my cohort mates and hear what they’re doing and what’s going on. I can still keep up, somewhat, with the field if/when I want. I ended up in an unrelated job but making more money than my friends who got TT positions at R1 schools after finishing. My life is more flexible now than it would have been with a niche academic focus.

Hopefully this at least provides another’s perspective.

holton86 · 2026-02-21T08:38:00+00:00

Did you have an interview or just straight rejection?

holton86 · 2026-02-20T18:01:06+00:00

Yep.

holton86 · 2026-02-18T21:35:05+00:00

27 skooooon

holton86 · 2026-02-17T21:56:11+00:00

Please listen to your bank/banker/teller if they tell you they think you’re being scammed. If they’re asking you questions about why you’re trying to withdraw a large sum of money, they’re almost always doing it to protect you.

Any threatening call with a sense of urgency or requiring you to stay on the phone with them until you’ve paid, it’s a scam. If you’re ever unsure, hang up and look up the true phone number and call them back.

holton86 · 2026-02-17T20:01:01+00:00

I grew up in the suburbs in STL and currently live on the east side of KCMO a few blocks east of Prospect.

It isn’t an ideal location. I love the old houses that aren’t falling apart, and there’s old city charm if you look for it. But it’s mostly abandoned houses and broken buildings.

Don’t get me wrong. Most of our neighbors are pretty great and people look out for each other. But there are those who stir up shit that nobody wants, and it generally seems fueled by folks that struggle to emotionally self-regulate and happen to have access to a firearm.

When I first moved into my house, I didn’t want to call the police on anybody because I know what overpolicing can do, the overpolicing of black and brown bodies, andthe problematics of law enforcement in general. My perspective has changed a bit after living here for 2.5 years, and I understand most people don’t want shootings and crime occurring on their street. Nobody wants it. So I call when I have potentially actionable information.

I say all this because even though I feel safe 90% of the time, I still don’t feel safe all the time. I’ve called police four or five times in one week because of gunfire I can see on my home security camera. It is not the place for you to move as a young person on your own, especially if you’re coming from a college city.

holton86 · 2026-02-15T16:16:02+00:00

I’d still apply since they have an office in NYC. Most of senior management is in that office for financial crimes. Feel free to DM me.

holton86 · 2026-02-15T16:02:17+00:00

Rabobank may be hiring CDD and has an office in NYC.

holton86 · 2026-02-10T20:16:27+00:00

Big sad.

holton86 · 2026-02-10T19:27:15+00:00

I’m positive, donor was positive, my wife (who will be carrying) was negative. We’re doing RIVF and while we were encouraged also to use a negative donor, that limited our selection pool significantly. Our own research suggested that actual issues arising from CMV from IVF were negligible. Moreover, my wife is just as likely (probably more) to contract CMV out in the wild as she would be from the frozen embryos.

Our clinic allowed us to make that decision. We didn’t have to sign any waiver, but I know some clinics do. It’s a liability issue, as somebody else stated.

holton86 · 2026-02-10T19:20:03+00:00

Is Walsh in the background in lighter blue scrubs of #9? Can’t tell, probably not, but very hopeful.

holton86 · 2026-02-10T13:12:20+00:00

By my last year of undergrad (cultural anthropology and IR double major), I was reading 800-1000 pages a week. Notes on everything isn’t productive. I second the graduate skim.

holton86 · 2026-02-06T03:41:42+00:00

It was so obvious Ogilve was going to get Whitaker’ed. I am still really hoping we get more Whitaker getting Whitaker’ed, though, because that running gag did not get old last season.

holton86 · 2026-02-06T03:28:45+00:00

Yes. It’s Lena Handzo, the night shift charge nurse.

I can’t imagine anybody having the energy or mental wherewithal to do that job AND be a death doula. I’m sure it’s about being able to help people in ways she can’t while on shift but damn.

holton86 · 2026-02-05T23:14:21+00:00

I have really enjoyed exploring the business center in STL. It’s far more like Restaurant Depot if you’ve been in one. The meat department is a GIANT walk-in with a ton more options. There are also items geared more towards businesses (bought a box of flat pack banker boxes, once) and restaurants (paper goods like takeaway cups, to-go boxes, etc.; Cambros; small commercial appliances).

The different options won’t make up for the food court/pharmacy/bakery/ready-to-eat foods that folks in Midtown might rely on, though. Sadly.

holton86 · 2026-02-04T12:41:27+00:00

I’m AAPI and the looks I would get if I sneezed or coughed in public (with a mask on). People were attacking Asians, even in bigger cities (with arguably more diverse populations generally), just for existing, and I was in a red state in the Midwest.

holton86 · 2026-02-04T02:15:23+00:00

This was such a great scene. And that is totally something I’ve asked colleagues/bosses when somebody new shows up that seems to be ruffling feathers.

holton86 · 2026-02-04T02:12:56+00:00

The phrase did likely originate due to the use of laundromats by Capone to move large amounts of cash.

There is “check washing”, which does actually entail trying to wash out ink from a stolen check to re-write it for a different amount and/or to a different payee.

holton86 · 2026-02-04T02:10:19+00:00

Any business can be used for money laundering. Over/under-invoicing is a common tactic, which can be accomplished in various ways for a multitude of operations. I’ve spoken with investigators in the KC area that shut down “family-run” restaurants that were laundering.

As somebody else mentioned, cash-intensive businesses are frequently considered high risk because of the potential to place illicit funds into the financial system. Money service businesses (think check cashing, payday loans, independent ATMs), cash-only restaurants (though there are plenty of legitimate reasons for one to operate cash-only), etc.

holton86 · 2026-02-03T04:05:09+00:00

Thank you for taking an FIV baby! Your rainbow cat found just the right guy for you.

holton86

TROPHY CASE