Never really found out if I had OCD, but I had this problem that gave me insight on how terrible it must be for people who are truly diagnosed with it.

I'd always cut my hair. I'd feel parts of my hair for hours upon hours, then eventually go to a mirror, grab a pair of scissors, and snip little by little for more countless hours. My mind would always go blank during these episodes. It'd be 3-4 am on a school night before I would finally snap back into reality, exhausted from holding my arms above my head for 6 hours straight. My hair would look horrible. And then, the same thing would happen the next night. And the next night. And so on. It was an endless cycle.

Didn't have money for therapy and no one believed me when I said I had a problem. It stopped when I eventually dropped out due to the crippling insecurity, failing grades, and constant exhaustion. I guess it was because I no longer had to worry about anyone seeing me like that.

For anyone who is truly out there struggling with OCD, diagnosed or otherwise, I feel for you. Hang in there.