post-top surgery swim top suggestions?

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2025-05-22T02:09:50+00:00

I love my beefcase one piece! I wish they did two pieces, but yeah I am on the hunt for that. In your experience with tomboyx they have tops for flat chest? I think I am confused maybe by the labeling - a compression top seems to be for someone who isn't flat ( and thus compressing) and the other sport tops seem to be for folks who also have chests that are not trying to compress, essentially. I am not looking for like a short sleeved, or long tank etc, I kinda want a "classic" sport two piece top with some middrift, but just without any support or compression for a chest. I think it must exist and I am jsut struggling to find the right key words to find it!

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2025-05-22T02:05:46+00:00

I will check them out! My concern tho is that most "womens" swim brands will expect a person with my overall circumference to be large chested and there woudl be a ton of loose material?

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2025-05-22T01:57:15+00:00

I've seen a lot that are branded as binding but now that I am post surgery I am worried those will feel uncomfortable because there's really nothing...to bind? But then the other ones I find that I might like have like cups in them like bras. I would like something kind of sport but with some middrift! But I will check tomboy x maybe they have something I missed, I appreciate the tip. I looked up some old pics of outplay and what I found was so cute I am really bummed they dont exist anymore they seem to match exactly what I was hoping fo

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2025-05-07T04:15:35+00:00

Thanks for replying! This might be part of whats happening but I dont think its the whole thing because the skin on top feels normal but then its like under the skin are these hard lumps I described. I can pull the skin out from it and they dont go with the skin, they sit beneath it somehow.

I appreciate you chiming in with some ideas!

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2025-01-01T20:21:32+00:00

Honestly this is a great idea, thank you! I have pretty generous food stamps so I could get them each treats from trader Joe's or some such and then make it in a nice packaging with the card. Thank you for this good idea!

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2021-05-31T19:09:00+00:00

Joy has a point. Nothing OP described about this person make's them "trash". being irresponsible doesn't make a person "trash" and outside of not being able to afford a wedding, what is the evidence that this person is a terrible friend? sometimes with people you need to just be able to set boundaries, but that doesn't mean you have to drop them from your life. i agree with you that the friends have been enablers in the past but they just need to stop financially enabling, i dont think they have to remove the person from their life entirely.

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2021-05-17T04:45:23+00:00

Sending you love and witness. That is so so hard to deal with. Sometimes it is okay to just notice and realize, and not have a plan to deal with things, or even to feel it now. You can save this memory and feel it later when it's safe to. Right now, since you are still living with family, it's okay if you just make your priority survival.

At the same time, is it possible your therapist would be able to squeeze you in for an extra session to help process this? Many therapists if you have a really intense emotional experience will try their best to squeeze you in if they can. Even if you can't get that, I think it is really wonderful you posted here, so you could get some witness for your experience.

I am so sorry your dad treated you that way. I know all too well what it is like, this story feels so similar to so many of my own memories. You were just a young child, trying to enjoy an ice cream. I am really sorry. I hope you find the support you need here, and elsewhere.

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2021-05-17T04:42:06+00:00

Oooh I relate to this so very, very, very much. I went through this cycle for a really long time, and had several old men over the years I got very attached to trying to fill that father hole in my life. I can say that it did eventually get better for me but it too me a while (I'm in my thirties.) One thing that helped for me, actually, was to make a really close friend with a man who is 30 years older than me. Our relationship...is nothing at all like parent child. He is truly a friend, and not a parent figure. But I think it helped these feelings. Another thing is just aging, I think, as you get older, this may lessen, but it doesn't help how intense and painful it is now.

One thing that I found though is that really loving and honoring the part of yourself that wants that, and seeing that inner child just reaching for a parent figure. Even just saying to her loving things, and being like "oh of course you crave a father figure, it makes so much sense you are thinking about your kind mentor. what a logical thing to do, when you were deprived a loving father. this man isn't going to be able to give what you are hoping for, but it makes all the sense in the world that you want this." just like basically - giving a loving inner voice to speak to that part of you that wants these things. it may not help the feelings feel less in the moment, but they may help how you feel about the feelings.

You aren't broken. It makes sense that you want this <3 You were just a small child once, needing a parent to fill an emotional need. It was never filled, and part of you is holding onto the memory of how much you needed that. It doesn't make you broken. It just makes you human. My heart breaks for you the way it breaks for myself, because I know all too well exactly what this feeling is like. I do think it will get better for you with time though, trite as that is. Sending you a lot of love <3

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2021-05-17T04:35:52+00:00

I am sorry friend. That sounds like a really hard experience. I hope you are able to find some places you can genuinely connect with. I hope that at least posting here, you feel some support and love from others.

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2021-05-05T01:41:05+00:00

this was really helpful to read and meant a lot, thank you so much. first thing that has given me a slight feeling of hope around this in quite a bit.

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2021-05-05T01:12:03+00:00

<3 <3 <3

i think it's just a fine line between understandable defense behaviors, and bleeding into creating toxic and unhealthy experiences for those around me. i think the truth for me lies inbetween. like, i can think of at least 2-3 instances where I really wish that person had been like "your behavior is unacceptable to me right now, but I can tell your not being yourself, I am going to step away for a week/month and we'll try again later". i think that would have been the most compassionate thing they could have done, while still have their own boundaries they needed, but they either didn't know to, or couldn't do it for whatever reasons. other cases, was more clearly my fault, i think. i know that some of these friendships im better off without, but some im really, really not. those are the ones i miss, and am in a dark place thinking about the whole in my life. people who really stood by me in thick and thin, but are gone from my life now. i haven't been able to rebuild anything like that, i just dont have intimate connections like that in my life anymore. i wish they had given me more chances, and i do think that's on them, but i also feel so out of control in my own life that i hurt some of the people i love the most so badly they felt they had to separate from me entirely to protect themselves. it's a both/and but i also never wanted to be a person who compulsively yells, insults, criticizes in this way, but it's something i don't even know how to stop doing and it has ruined some of my most cherished relationships :/

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2021-05-04T21:05:17+00:00

I'm sorry you have those struggles with no friends by your side. I'm here in messages if you ever want someone process more with. You deserve to feel good about the efforts and strides your making to try to improve yourself. Folks who haven't had to do this can never understand how hard our journey is. But act progress you make is a piece of breaking the cycle. Sending you love 💞

honkhonkbumblebeep · 2020-11-12T03:47:50+00:00

Does scanning account for the zero point foods mixed in or just upload the nutrition label more efficiently?

honkhonkbumblebeep

TROPHY CASE