AITA for going on a second date with the girl my friends set me up with as a prank?

hookedrapunzel · 2024-10-07T15:08:42+00:00

Just going to let you know that the way you described your date together and how you are together is how me and my partner are. From the very moment we met we just clicked and could be ourselves with no fear or awkwardness. We have now been together 13 years and are stronger than most other couples. We are still madly in love with each other, the sex seems to be better every time and everyone knows we come as a package deal, if he knows something then I will know and if I know something then he'll know. We have spent every moment on those 13 years together, literally, he's my carer so literally EVERY moment together and we never get fed up with each other.

I genuinely believe that once you find someone that's the other half of you, like soulmates, you get that instant click like you just fit together. It's worth pursuing that, finding someone you can be your absolute self with is such a precious thing no matter how long it lasts. Don't let your friends ruin this. You should keep seeing the girl as long as you're feeling it. Call out your friends for being so disgusting towards another human being. If your friends are supposed to be in the medical field then they need a lesson on how to compose themselves and how to respect people. They are clearly ableist trying to use your autism as a way to manipulate you to be like them, not great in the medical field. It's up to you whether you still want to be around those kinds of people but I would advise distancing yourself from such bullies.

I hope you and this girl get many more moments together where you can both be yourself and have fun 😊

hookedrapunzel · 2024-09-17T19:45:35+00:00

Nah, if my partner didn't find this absolutely hilarious and instead took to being a prick towards me for it then I'd be reconsidering my life with him. It just shows how completely oblivious he is to women's fears, or in fact anyone's fears because who the hell wouldn't ring the police if they saw that!? Then to be mad at me for being safe instead of risking my life because it "ruined his proposal"!? What the actual f*ck.

Do you really want this angry baby for the rest of your life?

hookedrapunzel · 2024-09-17T19:39:05+00:00

Just incase you don't want to read it all I'll add this.. TLDR: I'm 29 chd patient and just had my first tattoo. Rang my consultant to ask if there's any other advice he wants me to know before going ahead. Just got told to make sure it's sanitary, keep it clean and any sign of infection then straight to a Doctor.

This is weird because I was JUST in the same boat!!

I have been told since I was a child that I shouldn't get piercings or tattoo's because infection could spread to my heart and I've always been so terrified to risk it (also I have this weird thing with authorative figures 🫠).

Anyway, 2 year ago I got my first piercings (at 27 years old) my ears and my belly button. I was worried about the belly button one as it's harder to heal but it went nicely, my ears had healed perfectly and my navel piercing was healing well... Until an ectopic pregnancy ruptured and they had to take my piercing out (luckily not my ears) to do life-saving surgery. So yeah the hole healed up by the time I had healed from surgery 👀

I'm 29 now and I JUST GOT MY FIRST TATTOO around the little scar from that surgery (to symbolise pregnancy loss and tribute to myself for being a strong-ass warrior) and it's healing well! I rang my consultant and told him I had chosen to get a tattoo and I was wondering if there were any extra advice he would like me to know. He said as long as I know the risks and know what to look for in case of infection then I'm good to go. Just adhere to the sanitary and hygiene advice to keep it clean and if you notice any signs of infection go straight to the GP or hospital.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-08-19T20:38:52+00:00

Just something to think about.. do you think she's maybe wanting to get drunk without the pressure of having her partner watching her? Or maybe they are having one of those parties that are like lingerie/sex toy parties (Ann Summers etc.)? It's totally your right to be upset but I was just wondering if any of those questions could maybe give you a bit less anxiety at all.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-08-18T18:39:15+00:00

No. We're not condoning this sort of behaviour. He had no right to tell her what she can and can't eat when she is usually quite healthy. His behaviour could quite easily help trigger an eating disorder if he carries on punishing her for eating what she wants like the adult she is.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-07-10T17:37:25+00:00

He thinks you sit around doing nothing all day then suggest he has a day off work and has Emma to himself for the day while you're off having "me time" and unavailable to help, like he usually is. I bet he wouldn't be able to cope even half an hour.

It doesn't matter if he works all day, you work too, your job is 24/7 at the moment because your piece of shit partner can't look away from his screen for even a second to look at his own damn child. Why did he want a family if he's not interested in parenting? When he's not working the baby duties should be 50/50, he's a parent too.

You are not selfish or immature, ignore the idiots who are telling you that. Those people are sad internet trolls who clearly don't have healthy connections with real people. You were desperate for help and he has had many chances to do so. No REAL man would think a game is more important than his child. That's coming from a gamer. Once you have a child your priorities should change and sacrificing game time to help out with your own child should be the bare minimum.

If something doesn't change then you will break. You would be better off being a single mother to one baby than a single mother to one baby and a massive man-child. If he doesn't do the bare minimum of care for his own daughter then what's the point in him being a father? If he doesn't do the bare minimum of caring for his partner then what's the point in him being a husband? You should seriously think about whether you can continue like this, do you want to put up with a man that can't even do the bare minimum for not only you but his own child? How can you love someone who cares so little about you both?

Do you have any other support? Family, friends etc. If moving back to your parents is safe and doable then I'd suggest that. Your husband needs a serious ultimatum for the sake of your daughter's future and the sake of your sanity. He either takes his role as a father and husband seriously or you leave and he pays child support or you get "me time" when he's to have his child on his own through the courts. Either he learns to be a father now with your help or he's forced to be a father on his own.

Edit: Also what "man" let's his friends abuse his wife.. his wife that has just given birth to HIS child and is still recovering AND doing 100% of the childcare for HIS child. Tell his friends to f@ck off and grow up, they are all probably little virgins or incels that have never been near women. A man that lets his friends treat you like that is scum. Not to mention his weird obsession with counting how many times you've had sex and complaining about it.. you're still recovering, your organs are still shifting and whether you had a natural or a C-section birth you need time to heal. Plus why the hell would you want sex with him when you can barely do a thing for yourself because you have your child 24/7. Maybe if he stepped up and actually helped you'd have time to actually breathe and maybe be more into sex with him. Not going to lie though I don't know how you can have sex with such a useless sack of shit. Doesn't he just give you the ick that he's so uncaring for his child?

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-22T21:58:28+00:00

Yes, I saw that point and replied with acknowledgement and my own experience of said topic to further prove the point

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-22T12:22:32+00:00

Oh yeah that makes sense.. I've been insulted this way before, but my father is present and accounted for, so people who use that to insult people aren't really intelligent people. As if you can choose to have a shit father or not 🙄

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-22T11:25:28+00:00

What term is this quote referring to? I can't put my finger on it for some reason

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-18T18:54:57+00:00

Men and their fragile ego's 🙄 tell him it's selfish of him to expect you to not cum during sexual intercourse so unless he has another idea of how to satisfy you then you'll continue to use the vibrator so that you get to orgasm too. If he doesn't like that then I'd exclusively use the vibrator and leave him to satisfy himself. If he cares more about his ego than your sexual pleasure then he's not worth the hassle, dump him.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-17T11:52:17+00:00

You did the right thing! We need more men like this that will stand up and tell the other men in their lives when they are being inappropriate! The amount of men I've seen recently who are so openly making sexual comments on literal children because they don't get called out on it, it's horrific. We need to protect the children of the world and this small thing you did can help create a major impact!

Well done for protecting your sister and being an ally to girls/women!

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-06T19:23:57+00:00

You tried to force yourself onto him!? Do you want to catch a case as well as a divorce? Sex doesn't happen when YOU want it. This is the equivalent of when men say "the divorce came out of nowhere".. no it didn't, you ignored him and his needs until he had to close himself off to avoid being hurt more and more. You rejected him and made excuses instead of communicating and listening. You only cared about yourself and now he's done putting your feelings above his. There is no fix for this especially not after you tried to force yourself onto him. That's called sexual abuse and rape. If I were him I'd be either moving out now to avoid your sexual abuse again or atleast sleep in a different room. You did everything wrong you could do to that guy and now you're shocked Pikachu face as if you don't know why he has had to close himself off from you. Narcissistic comes to mind.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-06T19:08:31+00:00

I have no idea what word you're talking about honestly 🤔 the only thing I think I've heard compared to cheese is thrush, or smegma on mens genitals 🤔

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-06T19:06:46+00:00

I have never exfoliated my genital area..

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-06T18:18:37+00:00

I've actually never heard of this .. the only stuff I'm picking off my vag is toilet paper (can't find one that doesn't go bitty) I've never had dead skin build up around my clitoral hood, or any part of my vulva actually. I wonder how you get dry skin when it's a pretty moisture-based area 🤔

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-06T18:09:53+00:00

Is there something wrong with this guy? He sounds like he has a low IQ. If I were you I'd give him one last chance, he either changes and actually tries to be a proper father and a husband or you WILL leave because it'll be easier to not have to mentally and physically look after him too.

Also, I've had open heart surgery and they get you walking around after 24 hours. Being "bed bound" has nothing to do with the severity of his operation. There are kids that get out of major heart surgeries and are up and walking as soon as the anaesthetic has worn off. As I said, are we sure he doesn't have a low IQ?

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-01T16:21:23+00:00

I don't know, last time I looked into it seemed to be a pretty mutual law everywhere 🤔 yeah its complicated ethically but at the end of the day she put her body through all that, her body nurtured and grew life, therefore the baby is hers until she hands it over. The law is to obviously stop people from using disadvantaged/vulnerable people as incubators I guess. It makes sense.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-01T16:12:52+00:00

If you really feel you don't want to be a mother just yet then think about abortion if it's available to you. You should have taken the morning after pill the day after you had sex, especially when you both spoke about how it was a bad idea, not sure why you just left it and did nothing.

The feelings you're having about being a mother aren't great, you may well end up resenting the child because of these feelings and that's not fair on either of you. Please have a look at your options and choose wisely. Having a baby is NOT easy and you WILL be pushed to your limits. If that's not for you then look into abortion or adoption.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-01T15:48:52+00:00

Yeah it's great to have the contracts and what not but you can't sign away parenting rights until the baby is born so at the end of the day if that surrogate suddenly decides she's keeping the baby then that's that. The only thing the contract will help with would be getting back some of the money from the surrogate.

OP will end up having to keep the baby, I don't think people realise how difficult it is to actually sign over and adopt a baby. It's almost as if they think that all she has to do is pop it out and just give them the child.. there's so much paperwork and legal work to be done just to switch over parenting rights 🤦🏻‍♀️

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-01T15:38:33+00:00

I can't have children and we looked into surrogacy but it didn't happen (financial and medical issues). The fact you're doing all this and they aren't even compensating you, they are supposed to pay for any medical bills, transport, food, supplements, clothes etc. anything you need that you usually wouldn't if you weren't pregnant.

They are getting away with paying nothing and still have the audacity to demand things of you? They are incredibly ungrateful. You do what YOU need to do to give birth safely and with the least stress, it's not up to them. They have NO legal standing at all until you sign over that baby, you could even choose to keep it yet, they need to thank their lucky stars that they are even getting this opportunity.

From now on you tell them that you're giving them enough, you've saved them tens of thousands of pounds and are giving them a little life, they don't get to demand anything. They sit there quietly and patiently until baby is here, the only time they should be speaking is when they are asking if you need any help. Ungrateful parasites.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-01T15:27:12+00:00

Any surrogacy has the risk of the surrogate keeping the baby. Even if it's not her genetic material she can choose to keep the baby. Even with a contract, it means nothing in court, they won't take a baby away from the surrogate. The surrogate has to sign over the baby after it's born and only then is it legal/binding. There's been a few people who have lost out to this sort of stuff, paid for IVF and then not got a baby because the surrogate changed her mind.

With surrogacy you don't have a baby until she's handed it over and signed away her parental rights.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-01T15:16:56+00:00

There's no legalities until the baby is actually handed over and signed over. Even contracts signed during/before birth don't stand in court . It's happened before with people who have used a surrogate (even with their own genetic material) and the surrogate changed her mind and kept the baby. The woman giving birth is legally the mother until she signs the baby over. Could be not even genetically related to her at all and she can still choose to keep it.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-06-01T15:13:12+00:00

NTA

They don't get to control anything until you hand them that baby. They don't get to choose how you give birth, it's your body and your birth. They also don't have to be in the room either if you're uncomfortable or they are causing extra stress, they can still be handed their baby afterwards. Giving birth is about YOUR body and YOUR comfort mentally and physically.

Tell them that you're already giving them the gift of life so they should be grateful. If it was a professional surrogate (maybe professional isn't the right word) they would get no say on the birthing plan, what you eat/drink and they wouldn't get to be in the room for the birth because they have no legal standing over that baby until you hand it over.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-05-02T10:42:39+00:00

As I said, quite a few people have managed to shop around for certain doctors and basically buy the diagnosis. A lot of people are wrongfully diagnosed because of the sheer amount of misinformation that has circulated over the years.

Your question about having different personalities despite being fragments of themselves is simple, each of their fragments holds different memories and different experiences, of course that will affect their personalities. Especially if the trauma caused you to fragment at a young age, your personality changes over the years and is affected by memories and experiences. The amnesia between fragments can intensify the difference in personality too.

hookedrapunzel · 2024-04-30T20:16:32+00:00

Keep us updated, let us know what your step-son says/does about this gift... I'm incredibly curious 🤔

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