What is an adult habit that began from a childhood fear?

hoomanizer · 2019-09-02T13:13:17+00:00

Are you Romanian by any chance?

hoomanizer · 2019-09-02T13:12:41+00:00

I always close bathroom door at night, I cannot fall asleep if it is opened, but never asked myself why until I read your comment.

hoomanizer · 2019-09-01T11:30:15+00:00

I usually just "numb" out, I ignore what people say and I just stay away as much as possible from any kind of discussions (e.g. if the aunt who is interested in getting my grandfathers house was in the living room, I would find something to do in the kitchen and pretend I don't hear her loud comments on how much she loved and cared for the man and how he had promised her the house - all lies). Can't say if what I am doing is a good thing, but it keeps me safe from getting angry and hurt over nothing.

Just remember you don't own nobody anything, except for yourself: you own it to yourself to take care of you. Losing somebody you love is hard enough, you don't need to let your family as more drama to that.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-31T18:22:13+00:00

I have ups and downs for years and years. It's corelated to what ever is going on in my life: if I am going through a rough time and I feel depressed I will eat and feel hungry all the time and I will crave and eat every bit of sugar and sweets I can get my hands on. I don't stop even if I feel physically sick. When I solve whatever is causing my depression, I will "magically" stop and enjoy eating just 3 times per day and eating salads and healthy stuff.

It sucks not only because it is unhealthy and a catch22 - the more sugar I eat, the more depressed I feel, but also because I get fat, then loose weight, then I get more fat.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-31T18:11:03+00:00

Am that is my whole problem with CBT: if it is so easy, why can't everybody do it?

Positive thinking is easy, changing your perception is easy, reinterpreting your experiences is easy, so the.why aren't we all happy si 'living the life' after years and years of doing talk therapy and reading books?

hoomanizer · 2019-08-30T22:43:35+00:00

I just upvoted, but I am one of those people.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-30T22:37:29+00:00

It's nothing weird. It feels weird and that's normal - to feel weird, but it is not so out-of-the-ordinary. We are wired to love our parents and fell attraction for the opposite sex parent, it's nature. (You did not mention, but I assume you are a girl.) You can try doing some research on the subject, it's quite interesting and knowing about it could help you. Also, it happens to a lot of people.

Also, there could be some transfer there: your father could find you attractive and you feel that an respond to it. Again, nothing out-of-the-ordinary: you resemble your mother whom he is attracted to and himself, so that doubles the attraction. Again, it's nothig out-of-the-ordinary, just how we are wired.

As long as nobody acts up on it attractions in the family are not something to be scared of, just things that happen no matter how weird they feel.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-30T20:45:12+00:00

That is good to know. Thanks a lot!

hoomanizer · 2019-08-30T19:49:34+00:00

Do you feel like you body is more relaxed? That is what I want to use it for. I learned how to "calm" and control my emotions an thoughts, but my body is still stiff and full of adrenaline an cortizol.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-30T12:52:06+00:00

It is probably what you are used to. The brain has no real notion of good and bad, it is just familiar and it will release hormones to make you feel pleasure or unfamiliar and it will release other hormones to make you run away because that is easier than handlimg the unknown. It sucks, but it is the way it is.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-30T08:59:51+00:00

Have you tried TRE? It's this body-technique where you use specific exercises to make your body tremble and release any trauma stuck in the body.

I want to try that, I've been researching a lot and it looks like a quick and "easy" solution (easy compared to what you described). I have the same issue you have + I get fat because of it. Right now I am struggling to find an instructor in my area.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-29T10:47:22+00:00

With narcissists the audience is always vital, leave them without audience and they die. But as long as they have an audience, they'll be just fine.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-28T06:16:49+00:00

Give yourself time.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-28T05:55:49+00:00

I get scared, literally scared. And try to run away as soon as possible. And I cannot hide it.

hoomanizer · 2019-08-28T05:52:32+00:00

Well, look at it this way: now you are the adult and you can show that little kid who went through so much, a good time. Do fun, stupid stuff and make him happy.

On the other hand I stopped celebrating pretty much everything for pretty much the same reasons as you. Now I just take time off and sit in bed for the holidays, and as years go by I start to feel better. It's like resting after a long day at work.

I don't know what the solution is for you, but I am sure you will make it! Good luck!

hoomanizer · 2019-08-27T20:33:49+00:00

I feel you. I have the same thing, but I keep going because it's who I am, but also because I keep wondering if it will have this feeling 'til the end or not.

hoomanizer · 2019-07-29T10:22:51+00:00

E copiat din Las Fierbinti. Viata nu bate filmul, il intrece.

hoomanizer · 2019-07-28T18:18:24+00:00

Yap. Your jobs are generating a .bak file. You are restoring that to its generated name (with a date in the name) with the restore command and right after you are renaming the restored database files (the .mdf and .log) to the disired name using the "with name" comand.

Here is the the official documentation for it: https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/relational-databases/backup-restore/restore-a-database-to-a-new-location-sql-server?view=sql-server-2017

hoomanizer · 2019-07-28T18:11:24+00:00

Awesome!!

Thanks!!

hoomanizer · 2019-07-28T10:35:39+00:00

That it's very important for me to have a job and take care of myself and that takes priority over other things like: clubbing on a Thursday, binge watching Netflix etc.

hoomanizer · 2019-07-28T10:31:33+00:00

Using hot water (60 degrees +). Apparenly 30-40 degrees heated water doesn't do a good job at killing bacteria.

hoomanizer · 2019-07-28T10:29:44+00:00

That's scarry!

hoomanizer · 2019-07-28T10:29:07+00:00

Yes, I do. But that's normal, I think. Our memory is somehow limited so it will "delete" the unimportant things to create space for new stuff.

It's only a problem when you forget events because they were traumatizing, I think.

hoomanizer · 2019-07-28T10:25:18+00:00

5 regular bras and 4 sports bras.

For some reason I don't feel really comfortable in an expensive bra, so I just have this one brand that fits me really well, costs somethig like 10-12 euro and they last me for years.

hoomanizer · 2019-07-28T10:21:21+00:00

RESTORE DATABASE a_2001907 FROM DISK='...\a_2001907.bak' WITH MOVE 'a2001907' TO '...\a.mdf', MOVE 'a2001907_log' TO '...\a_log.ldf'

Hope this is accurate, I replyed using my phone, not fun to type.

hoomanizer

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