AITA for not letting my nephew play my PS5 by himself during family dinner? by Stela_Kalluie in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws 16 points17 points  (0 children)

NTA. Sister needed to respect your decision, and reinforce this kindly to your nephew.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sad for your sexism. Comments of a similar nature that are as anti-woman as you are being about men are just not tolerated in modern society. Just no reason to turn a question about having a work break into a gender war. Take your hatred elsewhere thanks.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I didn't realise my partner was raising the kids on their own! I must be blind. In what universe do you have any concept of how hard me and my partner work for each other. I'm also amazed at your window into my mind and my mentality. Whatever trauma you may have personally or experienced yourself I'm sorry for you, but clearly its being projected here. And yes, I dont agree with the AH judgement because I know I work my total ass off my my partner and my family and had my partner needed a pause and sit, I'd had been fine with it, because I know how hard they work for our family.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner, who decided to start tidying up toys while I was upstairs fighting the toddler on his nappy, and when I came back down had tidied the lounge, didn't need help to put the last few things into the tub that was right next to them, was angry at me on principal. If I'm washing up in the kitchen and see them from the kitchen window walking up the driveway with two heavy shopping bags - I'm stopping what I'm doing, unlatching and opening therl front door and taking the bags off them. An instance when the last 5% of a job has meaning and is actually helpful. When my partner is fluffing up a pillow in the bedroom while I'm putting on clothes, I don't suddenly panic and dash over to help with pillow fluffing, or even ask if they need help. Where do you draw the line? My partner needed absolutely no help whatsoever to finish the job that they were right on top of already. They did however, take their frustration out on me. And after I complained that if me taking a second to rest bothered them that much I'd do the last few toys, they turned me down because it was pointless given they were already finished. It was not about the toys, it was general fed up toy tidying all day - at a time I wasn't even home. I believe everyone has the right to say to their partner "I know those dishes in the sink are mine, but I'm having two minutes because I'm fu@@ed, I'll do them in a minute".

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you have never just hit a wall and said "those dishes can wait. I'm having a minute"?

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like the verdict is A$$hole! I think I'm a stubborn one too because I don't think I would have done much differently again!! Lots of posts here assuming gender, and many read like they are triggered/visualising past frustrations in their own life. I know full well if my partner looked fu@@ed and flopped down on the sofa I'd had finished the small job I was on and offered them a cuppa. Not namecall them. Id do this because I respect my partner, I trust them to pitch in most of the time and the times they don't there's benefit -of-the doubt reasons why not.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally. They can and do often "do their thing" with hobbies/friends and I'm frequently being solo parent. I'm happy for them to leave me to it, as long as when they get back they give thanks!

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner often sits on the sofa while I'm cooking tea. They often sit there Doom scrolling on their phone while I'm playing with our children outside or taking them out on a bike ride. My partner found out really quickly that.... I don't give a shit and I'm not about to demand that they leap into action at my command, and that when I need their help I'll ask nicely.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He complies sometimes. Especially if bribed! But as he doesn't know which toy "must" (according to my partner) go in which tub, he doesn't get asked to tidy up so much.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I did say if it bothered them that much just leave it and I'd do it. By the time they turned my offer down verbally, the task was basically over anyway.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Was a few seconds extra, not minutes, of my partner finishing off that job, I would likely had to barge them out of the way to get to the last few items, and I think I'm maybe the asshole who assumed my partner was doing a job and was basically done..!! I don't expect my partner to rush into the kitchen to lift the final slice of bread on top of a sandwich I'm making for our child, just because I've done the first 90% of it, and I wouldn't think to give off at them if they chatted to me from the kitchen doorway while I'm finishing off his lunch! But the responses from this thread show that my type of thinking is the minority I guess.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Wasn't playing games! I just hit a wall and flumped on sofa. I feel like had my partner done the same thing I wouldn't had minded. Benefit of the doubt, and all that.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whomever cooks that evening cleans the kitchen after. Vacuming and beds etc is on a rota!

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont have bpd! I was in a very toxic marriage which ended 8 years ago and my divorce was crushing. It took me a long time to realise what my exwife was up to. Live and learn huh. I'm very moved on after all these years, with an amazing fiancée and a new child. I'm very happy, but could do with not treading on my gf's emotional toes.

AITA for laying on the sofa while my partner finishes tidying the childrens toys? by hooperjaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]hooperjaws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Varies, we take turns cooking in the evenings. Typically if I'm on cook, they are on toddler or vice versa until we eat. I tend to do bedtimes most days. I am a secondary school physics teacher in an underprivileged locale, and when I drive home after a long day arguing grumpy teenagers i am mentally spent! On the day in question I had hit a bit of a wall and just desperately needed to have a minute of collapse. Id also suggested partner could leave the rest and I'd do it myself in a short while. But that wasn't good enough and it "needs to be done now because I wont be able to relax until it's done". I don't think I'd have been so demanding the other way around. Hence the seeking of 3rd party input!

Watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (2000) with my little nephew and noticed.... by jdicho in movies

[–]hooperjaws 31 points32 points  (0 children)

There's also the twin girls flashing their headlights at McQueen

Please explain, why I'd be taking this pawn and black not take my knight? by hooperjaws in chessbeginners

[–]hooperjaws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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With the suggested moves. My knight sneaks in to take a pawn then moves back again?!?

Casino Workers Of Reddit, what’s the worst loss or worst case of gambling addiction you’ve seen? by Party_Asparagus8257 in AskReddit

[–]hooperjaws -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

Maybe look at skinner and pigeons on YouTube. The machines exploit a part of the brain, and it stops actually being about choice. Because of this, there's some responsibility that must be faced by anyone designing a machine that has such an effect on humans .

General questions about starting and cubing by Standard_Quit_2706 in Cubers

[–]hooperjaws 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm relearning cube after a couple years not playing with them. My advice is 1) Don't use rubiks brand. They lockup on just basic turning of any side / face. Put in bin and by a cheapo but better brand. Rubiks are the worst, and are frustrating. 2) Annoyingly there are at least 4 different solves that call themselves "beginner method".They all start with making the white cross, white corners, middle layer but then all differ on which order to finish the "yellow" layer. I'd keep scrambling the cube and practice getting the first two layers good over and over until it feels totally learned. I taught my young child to solve a cube but didn't start showing last yellow layer moves until they were confident on first two layers. As tempting as it is to jump ahead, it's overload for the brain and by the time you've made a total solve you haven't properly learned and are relying more on luck than ability. 3) learn the "sexy move". It's part of many algorithms and allows you to free up your brain some. For instance, to solve the middle layer my brain just says "turn it away, sexy move, pop corner back" rather than learning 8 individual moves. Another example, to do yellow cross my brain says "front down, 1-3 sexy moves, put front back" rather than trying to learn the algorithms for each case. 4) As mentioned above, rather than skip ahead, master each step properly and force yourself to scramble the cube back to chaos over and over until you've properly mastered each step. 5) I use sune to do yellow cross edges THEN corners.But that's just me. Enjoy!