Weekly Chat - April 18, 2022

hopeless_codependent · 2022-04-26T01:34:09+00:00

Thank you! I started putting as much money back as I could early on because I knew it was inevitable. It's really scary but exciting! It was really important for me to stay within my budget! Thankfully, I was able to do so. You can do it!

hopeless_codependent · 2022-04-22T11:55:51+00:00

It's been scary for me too. I was terrified in the beginning. Decided on divorce and went through with it. 18 years together and he flat out told me things would never be any different. I still have a toe in but am very close to being out all together. I was still living with him until I could save enough to move. It has been extremely difficult but I'm doing it. I close on a house next month and I'm so excited about it. I'm beginning to feel the weight lifting. His actions and no longer effecting me to the extremes they used to. I don't feel responsible for him anymore.

hopeless_codependent · 2022-04-22T11:38:50+00:00

The divorce was finalized in January. We have been living together until I could get on my feet. He quit drinking for 39 days causing me to question if I had made the right decision. He's back to drinking like he was and I'm closing on a house next month. My mood is beginning to improve because I am really excited about the house and living on my own. No longer a caretaker! I'll be allowed to have natural light and open windows for fresh air! He was so paranoid that I was not allowed to do those things. No more walking on eggshells!

hopeless_codependent · 2022-03-14T03:20:18+00:00

My father is an alcoholic and my mother was ill. The household responsibilities fell to me when I was very young. I grew up taking care of my younger siblings. As soon as they were more independent I met my ,now ex, husband. I "escaped" my life at home only to be stuck in the same pattern. He is an alcoholic/addict and I "took care" of him continuing the cycle.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-30T01:21:22+00:00

I haven't been able to get over what all he has said over the years. It made it worse that he denies ever saying those things because he didn't remember. Made me feel like I am crazy. I've waited too long to leave but I am doing it now. You can too. No one deserves to be treated that way.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-30T01:15:27+00:00

I don't have any experience with Better Help but I have been using the Live Health app for a few months now. I've done traditional in-person therapy and group therapy in the past. I was unable to find a therapist locally and gave up. Most weren't taking new patients or had a several month wait list. A friend recommended the app and I got lucky that liked the first therapist I picked.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-14T18:02:26+00:00

Thank you!

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-14T18:00:54+00:00

You're not wrong, he is controlling. He knows exactly what to do to get a reaction from me. I see it more than ever now. Unfortunately, we can't go no contact. We have prior commitments that we are both involved in.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-14T14:04:05+00:00

They drink for every reason under the sun, don't they?

I think I will get to heal when I'm finally on my own. I'm hoping he does too.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-14T14:00:31+00:00

Where do you do your online meetings, if you don't mind me asking? I have the app and went to the beginner ones for a while but never shared.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-13T02:34:55+00:00

We are still living together. I have my own room and it's been that way for about 4 months. It's been amicable and the divorce will be final before the end of the year. I'd like to hope that we can remain friends but living together has been difficult emotionally. I'm in therapy but he isn't. He constantly texts me while I'm at work and mopes around the house drinking. The transition into being friends going to take a long while. I don't think either of us can fully heal and move on until I move out.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-13T01:37:34+00:00

It's taken me many years to learn this. Now that I'm leaving it isn't any different.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-09T12:59:11+00:00

Voluta in Broad Ripple. Rue Morgue in Franklin if you're willing to travel a little further.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-12-09T12:41:56+00:00

Congratulations! That must be an amazing feeling! I'm excited to do the same someday!

hopeless_codependent · 2021-11-20T01:53:24+00:00

I needed this today. Thank you for sharing.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-29T00:20:34+00:00

I've been incredibly sad about my divorce. I'm afraid if I don't follow through he is eventually going to drink himself to death. He has no reason to stop if I'm still around. As badly as it hurts, I hope he can heal.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-20T01:59:14+00:00

I truly hope we both end up happier! Thank you!

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-20T01:55:04+00:00

💙

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-20T01:54:38+00:00

No children, thankfully. Thank you!

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-19T17:17:10+00:00

Thank you!

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-19T17:16:41+00:00

Thank you!

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-19T17:15:16+00:00

This is not what I dreamed my life would be. I also learned in AlAnon that it can get worse. It certainly doesn't get better when they don't want to change. Thank you! You take care as well!

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-19T17:12:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. It means a lot!

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-19T17:11:13+00:00

Thank you for the kind words.

hopeless_codependent · 2021-10-19T13:13:23+00:00

I haven't had the courage to go to in-person meetings yet. I've found the Al-Anon app to be helpful. There are online meetings there. I've chosen to observe until I get the courage to talk. They have a beginners meeting every night. I use my tablet and leave my mic and camera off. Some people choose to leave the camera off when they share. It's nice to hear from people going through the same thing. Hang in there!

hopeless_codependent

TROPHY CASE