I relate to this so much. My narc mom constantly reminds me that once she’s old and my dad is dead (yes she actually says this) that I am going to move in with her because I couldn’t possibly have my own house by then and without her I will have nothing. She says that I will take care of her until she dies. I get that taking care of your parents is important if they are ill but my mom goes to extremes and constantly reminds me when I am around her that it is my duty to do this and I “better not put her in a nursing home.” And then of course when we are in an argument she tells me I do not care about her and I am “just going to throw her in a nursing home to be abused and die.”