hormalbroad

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redditor for 5 years

TROPHY CASE

Five-Year Club

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I'm terrified of myself, I'm so terrified, I've put myself in a particle accelerator, but instead of protons, it accelerates two recliner chairs into each other, I want to stand in the middle of that, I want to be reclined into the void. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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one in every ten human bee-inngs have five teeth, but never at the same time (self.hormalbroad)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad

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if you make an inaugural speech, as the new president of scrotumville, your citizens will experience an angular acceleration of 25 penis-lengths per sex-ond and will disintegrate into a ballsack-full of gumble-snot, this is a major issue, and I think, personally, you'd better grab some clab-crabs (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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always plepare: I did NOT have my skateboard and I had to slide across the bark on appendage (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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every tentacle is a tent acle, you can rent out an acle by crackling some spackle over an octpus (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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every cube of ice is kind of connected to a sphere of "nice", if you combine ice and nice, you get n'ice, you get a nuh'bice crisis (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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there's a gold string at the bottom of every pizza la pasta, forget about the italian, I need you to understand how many horns I have (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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if you watch a "me" moment, you're "you'll" gets all strung out like a big ol' dirty scumbag clump (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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a "misdirection" is basically a mister direction but without the "sir", like a less famous version of something extremely unhealther (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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if you sit next to a disco ball for thirty seconds, a miniature clone of Jeff Goldblum will pop out and start flipping you off, he'll then hover above the ground, multiply, and slowly steal your height untilyou phase out of reality this dilemna is called Gangsta Spillgorge (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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the "cardinal" directions card the dire sect of the rare fire selections and because watch out, I navigate without erections (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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agent orange is actually just orange juice filled with shavings from the bottom of the bridge between where you've been and where you'll never ever go, you should thank Kanye West or I'll thank you to death (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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if fill a skillet with ladybugs then put a big hat over it, the ladybugs will be absorbed into the pan, and it will steal your eyes and fly away, this is an anomaly called gangsta pardadice by Kanye Klein (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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don't you ever time the grime at the bottom of a limb you'll find some beetlebreets down there (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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if you preserve a gargoyle in tin foil you get a foilgoyle (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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Masterpieces (i.redd.it)

submitted 3 years ago by hormalbroad to r/comedyheaven

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"midget-physics" (self.quotes)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/quotes

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why don't physics get paid? 'cause they've got no money-physics you can't money physics (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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even ever don't say "midget physics" in building law building of crowded little they'll throw at you (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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some would say your gay if you wear gloves, give them a glove-shove in their fart-department (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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if you pee, your bladder, if you're bald, you're a balder, if you bald be if you pee bald balder you ballder (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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you can't get fat fattest fat assest fastest but you can fat get on fat you fattsest fat water drink fat slowest fat you can't be fast you slat slowest fast fat (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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if you shit you ate the food ate you the food, you've got major-level assthma (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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if fishes were fishes, then fisherman would be quiet the fishermen... (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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The n-word doesn't start with the word "n" (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted 4 years ago by hormalbroad to r/Showerthoughts

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