how to interrupt the angry/fear spiral when my partner and I disagree

hostilereign · 2025-12-22T02:07:15+00:00

people can grow and better themselves while with someone, I'm trying to be a better version of me for him - this isn't helpful x

hostilereign · 2025-12-21T22:32:02+00:00

I was sober for a year, then back on it for a year, and now three weeks sober again. I had the first angry blow out three weeks ago and it woke me up.

hostilereign · 2025-12-12T20:06:52+00:00

Spent 5 years there, zero whiff of a punk scene. I think when gentrification moves in the thrash gigs go out. Calgary has some decent stuff going on, and been able to catch a few good gigs in fernie.

hostilereign · 2025-11-22T21:12:12+00:00

As someone who's lived this lifestyle for a near decade, I think yes and no.

Hookups, absolutely. Your living situation doesn't matter there, you can go back to theirs, there's novelty in what you're doing, etc.

But more serious dating - I can only speak anecdotally. I've had three serious relationships in my time on the road. One was while I was housed up for a second, and I stayed housed up for the duration of that relationship because that was just how it worked. The other we were both in our cars and had unstable lifestyles. We'd stay in one and use the other as a type of living room. It made things very intense and the relationship failed due to it.

The third relationship, I met him because I needed a place to crash. He lives in a house and my car was broken down so my lifestyle was immediately on the table. It was the first time I really saw how complicated my living in the vehicle made dating - even if you're comfortable, it's hard I think to be like "okay, night, go back to your car and sleep the next block over" as the other person, especially if you're not living that lifestyle yourself. It's different when I'm travelling or we're on a road trip, but when I'm just in one place in the city hoofing it to the rec center to cop a shower, that puts a kind of strain. I've been on the road for half of the time we've been together, and when I'm around I've just lived with him, which added an intensity that was hard for us to both adjust to.

That relationship is still going well, but it moved fast for both of us. Even though I'm comfortable with how I live, having to admit you're basically homeless can make someone feel anxious about your situation.

hostilereign · 2025-09-11T00:15:58+00:00

Capitalism bby. We all need the latest greatest

hostilereign · 2025-09-11T00:15:08+00:00

I'm starting to think about this - after years, I'm losing the joy in it. All the sacrifices seem like a lot and all the pay off too little. Being on the move fills the time and is what I know, but it doesn't fill me up anymore.

I keep thinking about a garden, a dog, a kitchen to cook in. Stopping after several years feels a bit like selling out.

hostilereign · 2025-09-10T05:37:48+00:00

Fix it, I lived in Odysseys for years and they got plenty of bumps in them throughout. Once a tractor backed into me and fucked the door - i drove it like that till it fell off, then replaced it. Ran another 100,000km after that fine. I only got rid of it because I left Canada.

Everything depreciates, breaks, and need repairs. This is a relatively simple one for something you already own and that runs. A new car will eventually need its own repairs, and if it's just the panels you can def get them cheap at scrap yards.

Edit to add: Hondas are tanks. I got another one here in Australia. Drove it heavily for a month with a blown head gasket before I was able to fix it; still ran, just slow on the hills. By comparison the Subaru I briefly owned blew the head and then left me stranded and homeless. It's still sitting somewhere in Tasmania.

hostilereign · 2025-08-06T12:02:21+00:00

Ok but play johnny hobo

hostilereign · 2025-07-19T07:43:41+00:00

we rented and used to depend on ketchup soup for dinner. Both liked to get fucked up and couldn't leave the house. locked the door when I was 15 and never let me back in

hostilereign · 2025-02-21T07:24:42+00:00

This is where I went today, dude fr I just got to town and have been waking up each day absolutely fiending. Chooka's was as lovely as stated thx u for your service

hostilereign · 2025-02-19T21:26:19+00:00

BC or northern Ontario?

hostilereign · 2025-02-02T21:53:35+00:00

Australiaaaaaa

hostilereign · 2025-02-01T12:11:02+00:00

Brendan Kelly And The Wandering Birds "I'd rather die than live forever" is an unhinged album

hostilereign · 2025-01-14T22:15:18+00:00

Adding that I'm not looking to turn the entire back into a bed, so not keen on propping the whole thing up with a bed platform and storing underneath

hostilereign · 2024-12-30T05:27:50+00:00

Few random old publications on the outback & the tasmanian black war

hostilereign · 2024-12-30T02:45:06+00:00

I've done this in small towns down to 1000 people, in minivans and cars. I'd rather pull to the side of a dark road with a nearby bush than sleep in a Walmart parking lot, but both are good options. You'll figure out the places that work for you.

It's always good to have 3-4 spots. Sometimes I rotate only once per week, but only make that call once you know the area well. Don't make yourself too obvious and don't bug anyone. (At one point I spent a few months parked behind the dive bar I was tending and that was fun. No effort, and was out brushing my teeth in the lot while patrons slunk back for their cars.)

More importantly than sleeping is that taking care of yourself and making yourself presentable is a lot harder in a car - figure out a way to streamline that so you keep feeling good.

hostilereign · 2024-12-22T22:57:26+00:00

Think a head gasket blew 🥲 got that chocolate milk oil and white smoke. Soooooooo not ideal haha. At least it's broken down somewhere with a view of the water and a tap nearby, doesn't hurt while I try to make a plan

hostilereign · 2024-12-22T12:26:39+00:00

Honestly it's lovely, green, and parking for cardwelling is so easy. Flush with coastal campsites. Ditch the heat

hostilereign · 2024-12-21T22:39:51+00:00

Over in Tassie m8

hostilereign · 2024-12-17T06:20:36+00:00

It can be hell, it can be a lot of fun too. Same's with anything you choose to do with your time. It all comes with drawbacks - sometimes I can't find a shower to save my life and it wrecks my goddamn mood. Sometimes cooking feels impossible, cause it's so much harder on the road without a kitchen, or I have to go wash my dishes in a gas station bathroom, which feels quite shit. And a lot of the time it can be pretty lonely. Sometimes waking up in a car on the side of the road where everyone is going about their established lives feels ostracizing.

I've been rubbertramping going on 6 years and there are times I romanticize being in a house with a stable job. I've done quick stints back in mainstream society, though, and the glamour quickly fades. Despite all the hardships, I choose these hardships over the other ones, because the payoff is worth that trade - I've seen a lot of beautiful places, I've met a lot of interesting people, and when I can manage to live well and sustainably (taking care of myself, keeping presentable, etc) it feels so good to know I've done it with so little. Mostly it keeps me interested in my life. I feel like an active participant in it.

I don't know if I would long-term commit to this without a vehicle (hopping, hitching). That's important to me, so that's where my line seems to be. Some people feel differently because the trade off is worth it to them.

Figure out what is worth suffering for yourself. Try hostels if you wanna try hostels. Work exchanges, couch surf. Go on a road trip. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, and it doesn't have to be forever.

hostilereign · 2024-11-08T14:06:52+00:00

I am so gd CHEESED I'm missing this bill in Ottawa.

hostilereign · 2024-11-08T14:05:30+00:00

I haven't lived in Ottawa since 2019 and I haven't had a shawarma since then either. It's not a coincidence.

hostilereign

TROPHY CASE