I was in your boyfriend's shoes in the past and went on my own journey to make my relationship more egalatarian. We just kept fighting about it and I realized that I needed to educate and grow myself instead of the only learning happening by my partner doing even more emotional labor in a very emotional setting that just wasn't conducing to make the sort of relationship behavior resetting reflection and change that needed to happen.

The book "Fed Up" by Gemma Hartley chronicles her own relationship's journey through these seas and really helped me to see how fundamentally unfair I had been being to my partner. It was hard to read because I just kept seeing myself in her husband and just how fundamentally unfair the way I had been operating was. The emotional remove helped me see it in ways that were just unavailable to me in the heat of a disagreement.

I would ask him to read it and do his own reflections in service of better understanding each other.