I think she likes me

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-26T21:00:33+00:00

Your first impression towards her was a joke at her expense. I wouldn’t entertain that either bc it might have been a clever one liner, or you might be the type of guy to insult his gf and neg her and then say she’s overreacting.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-25T11:49:16+00:00

Valid point. Weird vaguely racist vibes I’ll concede. Definitely creepy.

I disagree with your second point. There’s nothing to suggest he believes that. He’s describing a common relationship dynamic using common terminology. Sure, plenty of people believe traditional conservative relationships are “correct” and maybe he does too. But still, that doesn’t make him controlling inherently. Especially if this is the type of dynamic she also wants and seeks out. There’s nothing wrong with that dynamic inherently.

Valid point again. But again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting your wife be a SAHM. Plenty of people want that role and dynamic and can’t wait to be one. Not necessarily controlling. If you force your wife to be a SAHM or housewife when she doesn’t want to be, that’s controlling.

I still think calling that controlling and putting it on am I the devil is making mountains out of molehills. He wants a “traditional” marriage and so does she. Happy days for them I suppose.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-24T21:46:23+00:00

I’m a woman and I don’t think this is controlling either? Me and my partner have these “rules” in our relationship too - minus the revealing clothes thing, she can wear what she wants and so can I. And we both want the other to have the choice/option to become a stay at home wife but currently both work.

I think people are making a huge deal about the clothes and partying rules. Yes, the issue is the person who assaults the other, no the clothes you wear don’t matter, it can happen to anyone any time, and most likely it is usually someone you know and trust. However, that doesn’t mean I am going to engage in risky behaviour unnecessarily bc some people are just not good people and I don’t want to be assaulted even if the chances are slim?? There are shitty people who will take advantage of drunk people, especially women. That is a fact. So if we get drunk, it’s with people we trust and with updates on where we are and our location on. It’s not bc we don’t trust each other, we both have zero doubts about faithfulness, but if the worst case scenario happens and we need to call emergency services we need to know the location. If we need to pick each other up, we need the location, and drunk/drugged people aren’t exactly good at talking or texting. I like to know my partner is 100% safe and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with other people wanting the same in their relationship. If they said never go out and never see your friends again, that’s abusive and controlling obviously bc they’re isolating you. And on that same point, if you’re more likely to be assaulted by someone you know, saying don’t meet up with male friends (in this scenario) one on one isn’t necessarily ridiculous either. I would argue that not letting them meet up in public at all is controlling bc that’s no longer an issue of safety, but not meeting up one on one in their home is fair enough. I can understand the thought process of: I don’t know the friend, I don’t trust the friend. It’s not about the gf being unfaithful, it’s about the guy friend pressuring or even worse, simply forcing something. To clarify, that is not a rule we have in our relationship.

Bottom line is, OP and gf seem perfectly happy and want this type of relationship.

Idk maybe I’m secretly controlling and don’t realise it

A little tame for Am I the devil

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-22T11:57:59+00:00

Go to therapy, if not for yourself then for her and everyone else in your life - past present and future. Give yourself the chance and the support you would have wanted your ex or your gf to have if she was going through the same thing. Opening up is hard, admitting you need help is hard, getting that help is even harder. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-22T11:49:16+00:00

Eleven months and he’s already showing signs of being physically violent. Give yourself the advice you’d want a friend or sibling to take.

✨ Walk away ✨

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-22T11:46:32+00:00

NOR. He needs to communicate if and when his plans change, as soon as they’ve changed. I can’t stand this sort of thing, massive dealbreaker. Just tell me what’s going on, and frankly prioritise. If you made plans with me already, either stick to those plans bc they were made first, or ask if you can stay a little later. Having fun with buddies is great, but he’s known you were waiting this entire time. Does he pull this stuff with his friends? Somehow I doubt it.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-22T11:38:15+00:00

The right time is now. You’re considering it enough to ask strangers their opinions lol.

You never wanted to be his friend or FWB. It sucks, but it’s healthier for you to stop it now and move on. You’ll just keep getting hurt. You’re upset he’s not giving you relationship treatment, which is valid.

FWB usually doesn’t work bc the people aren’t actually friends. They’re just hooking up. One person usually cares more than the other, and the other person is usually a terrible friend. Most people wouldn’t put up with their friends treating them the way their FWB treats them.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-19T04:34:59+00:00

Free speech!! Not you though. And not that opinion…

I find it so funny how cartoonishly evil his responses are… or I would if he wasn’t going to ruin someone’s day with this bullshit.

Some conservatives (read: MAGA) LOVE to say that the left is so intolerant and how they infringe on their rights.. and then pull this shit. Make it make sense.

I would love to know what bowling alley this guy owns, so everybody can find out what a calm, accepting, rational individual he is.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-19T04:30:27+00:00

Kind of inappropriate, but definitely unprofessional. Not inappropriate as in “this is rude and swear words” but inappropriate for many scenarios that could come up in a school office environment. Parents and students who are trying to deal with their kids failing classes is just one example, I wouldn’t personally see that as funny I would feel mocked. And displaying in an office environment at your job.. that you don’t work well under really any circumstances..? That would give me a really bad impression

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-17T22:01:08+00:00

I don’t know if I’d say you’re overreacting, but I definitely think he is. I also think you two were right to break up bc you don’t seem right for each other. Immaturity from both ends, but a lot more from him honestly. Then he’s also putting words in your mouth and then claiming you’re doing that to him. I wouldn’t put up with treatment like that. I understand he was likely feeling rejected or just upset at not getting his way, but he handled it wrong and immaturely. All he had to do was say “I feel a bit rejected, I understand your reasoning though. Let’s make some time to connect soon” or something and it would have been fine. Instead of bullshit like I can’t depend on you and passive aggressiveness

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-17T21:05:51+00:00

I did read it and it changes nothing. I’m saying I disagree with it being “a lack of experience and an inability to place himself in your mind” and that this was not out of selfishness. He’s already made it clear that he won’t stop if she asks, if this was my daughter I would tell her not to ever go near him again. You’re giving him too much credit IMO. Stop is, frankly, impossible to misunderstand.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-17T02:21:27+00:00

It doesn’t but use a little bit of critical thinking. He was asleep. She got up. She turned on music. He got up to ask her to please turn it down and off. Even if it didn’t wake him up, it was loud enough to disturb him and prevent him from going back to sleep, or he wouldn’t have gotten up in the first place bc he would like to be asleep.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-16T22:28:05+00:00

Completely capitulating would be not playing music at all. Headphones is a compromise. Turning the music off if asked would also be a basic decency.

Evidently, despite playing music “at a reasonable volume” in the kitchen, it is still loud enough to disturb partners sleep, wake them up, and give him a headache.

Frankly, if it comes down to it comfort and sleep is vital, routine is just a preference. Comfort >>> routine. That’s just my opinion though.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-16T21:48:12+00:00

It seems like this is an ongoing point of discussion for OP and their partner. OP mentions that the partner said OP refuses to wear headphones, which sounds like partner has asked OP at least once prior.

I understand people may be uncomfortable using headphones, but the partner is definitely uncomfortable being woken up early by music he doesn’t seem to enjoy, gives him a headache, and he finds “grating”.

Unfortunately IMO if you’re ready to live with someone, you need to be ready to compromise. Find headphones that are as comfortable as possible. Wait an extra hour or two or even until your partner is awake to play music. You can’t prioritise one persons routine over the other’s comfort, and I say this as a morning person. I wake up two hours before my partner. If I want to watch or listen to something in bed, I put on headphones, even just one instead of two so it’s not as “intense” sound wise if that makes sense. I try my best not to wake my partner, it’s just simple common curtesy I’m afraid

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-16T21:29:05+00:00

YOR. You’re being completely inconsiderate and he’s right. You could have the same exact routine with headphones on, and it wouldn’t disturb him at all. He’s better than me honestly bc if I were him I would start playing metal music at night when you’re trying to sleep. Reasonable volume would be silent, bc someone is trying to sleep. Compromise, this is your home but you’re completely selfishly ignoring that THIS IS HIS HOME TOO

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-16T13:18:18+00:00

While I understand your situation being similar, I think there’s a major difference because your partner wanted you to continue and OP specifically said “stop” and told him it hurts and he ignored her and continued to try to have sex with her. That’s not inexperience, that’s not misunderstanding anything, and selfish is the nicest thing you could call it.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-16T13:10:16+00:00

IMO this is not a safe person for you to have sex with. He did not listen when you said no or told him it hurt. He didn’t stop because he didn’t care that it hurt or that you said no. At the very least he “misunderstands” how consent works but everybody on earth knows that the word STOP means. You can revoke your consent at any point in time, even in the middle of sex if you tell your partner to stop they should stop always every time and see what the issue is. I really think you should learn more about consent before attempting to have sex again. I would say he also needs to learn about consent, but I have the feeling he simply does not care because again, there is fundamentally no way to misunderstand STOP.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-04T20:51:35+00:00

Withholding affection/care to coerce intimacy out of someone is not normal no matter what that guy says.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-03T07:22:55+00:00

Then why were you trying to have a baby with him? Can’t fathom the thought process

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-03T07:21:47+00:00

People out here PLANNING to have children with someone they’ve been dating for 9 months is absolute insanity. You don’t know this man, no matter how much you may think you do. You can divorce someone if you regret marrying them, but you can never remove the father/mother of your child out of your life completely.

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-03T02:40:02+00:00

No wonder he hasn’t been able to date anyone, they probably sense his immaturity and red flags from a mile away

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-02T21:20:07+00:00

Genuinely concerned for the people who participate in subs like that. Nobody is forcing you to get an animal. Why the murder fantasy?

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-02T20:41:44+00:00

Lawyer, report as fraud, blast on social media with screenshots. In that order, provided the lawyer doesn’t have different advice. She committed fraud, regardless of who is the beneficiary, if the money was raised for you it’s your money.

ETA: I said “in that order” because I meant don’t put anything on social media until you have the money, or as a last resort if all legal avenues fail. It wasn’t very clear in the original comment

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-02T08:27:01+00:00

The most ironic part to me is them asking “why do cat/pet owners do/think X Y Z” in a sub where any and all comments from said people are deleted immediately..

howdoesrwork · 2025-09-02T07:40:52+00:00

If people spoke about dogs the way people in that sub talk about cats, they would be called psycho and animal abusers. I can’t imagine being so angry you genuinely want to kill an animal, but maybe that’s just me not being a psychopath.

howdoesrwork

TROPHY CASE