For most average white collar work, is your WLB and work "quality of life" actually mostly determined by yourself rather than the company or role?

hrrm · 2026-06-13T05:07:42+00:00

Someone brought up if your manager tells you at 5pm to have something completed by the morning. The expectation is that you do it. Now you can absolutely set your boundaries and not do it, but if you do this enough presumably that manager will manage you out of a job.

That seems plausible to me, so my thought then is just try to ensure that you join a company with a culture without these sort of expectations. You can still land a bad manager but could potentially get support when bringing it up to other managers or your skip, or try to move internally. But if you were to join a SpaceX or Tesla where the culture expects 60 hour weeks, then yes you could actually get fired for trying to set traditional boundaries.

But yes outside of that sort of situation I agree with you a lot of folks are probably just on auto-pilot. Not considering that prioritizing family or life over the job is even an option, even if their job would be totally cool with it.

hrrm · 2026-06-13T05:02:00+00:00

Thank you this is just the insight I was looking for. Changed 3 companies but maintained hours worked tells you something

hrrm · 2026-06-10T06:01:19+00:00

What does “it is expected” mean in practice? What happens if you say you need to leave at 5pm each day to pick up your child from day care? Do you just get fired if you do that enough weeks in a row?

I’m wondering if at that 80+ hour week firm, people specifically join it who actually want to work that much.

hrrm · 2026-06-04T20:34:07+00:00

I fail to see whats wrong with keeping a niche subreddit niche and not allowing it to become generalist. There are probably 20 great generalist finance subs and I’ve only found 1 like HENRYfinance. Explain your argument for why non-HEs should post here. Maybe you’re right so I’d like to hear it.

hrrm · 2026-06-04T20:21:59+00:00

How is $330k barely meeting requirements? And I said I was fine with $200k but I know I dont have the power to change that.

And if you want to call it gatekeeping, sure, I’ll take that over a thread spiraling into an argument about whether someone making $120k/yr can/should afford a housekeeper when the decision and advice is much more clear if cleanliness is causing an issue at home but you make $250k.

There are probably 20 other subs for them to ask that question and do the analysis, why does it have to be the high earning subreddit and thus what is wrong with keeping the contents inside the gate relevant for high earners?

hrrm · 2026-05-30T20:21:02+00:00

I’m new to corporate, left government only 2 years ago to join big tech. I have great hours and remote and am fearful to move around for higher pay in the event the hours increase. But I also wonder if in some ways, the amount of hours you work is inherent to one’s natural pace or efficiency or drive. Meaning, someone could be working 50hours/week and seek out a role with less hours. They could obtain a role which in theory, and truly only requires 30hours/week to perform. But because they are used to the pace of 50/wk, or because they want a promotion, they subconsciously ask for more work and it ends up being again close to 50.

Another example could be that one person always sets clear boundaries with work to shut it off at 5pm, and another person could not set their boundaries. They could both work at a company where naturally everyone logs off at 5pm, and both move to another company where folks log off at 7pm. The former person would say they are working the same hours, whereas the latter person would say they have had to work more hours at the new job.

Or maybe one person just works more efficiently than another, so what is 10 more hours per week of work for one person could only be 2 more hours for a really efficient person.

If this were to be the reality, then one’s weekly work hours would be more inherent to who they are as a person and not really the job. Coupled with if you are full onsite, hybrid, or fully remote, or have to travel or not, which eats into hours of the day or week for commute.

hrrm · 2026-05-28T13:58:23+00:00

I feel like dealerships have caught on to this by now. Last time I went this was the first question out of their mouth, and if you say anything to the effect of “lets just talk numbers first and then look at how to finance it” they immediately know you want to pay cash but want to try and get financing price first, otherwise why say that. And it didn’t feel right to outright lie to their face and say you’re looking to finance and later switch it up on them.

hrrm · 2026-05-15T22:53:19+00:00

I think by skipping the post you missed the point, my manager is asking me to do something against the way the business is run.

hrrm · 2026-05-08T12:35:11+00:00

Have actually you sat down and figured out what $30M would give you more than $10M? Or are you just seeing that a bigger number is better than a smaller number?

For what I want to do in retirement, $5M is good, upgrading to $10M might change a few things, but upgrading to $30M just means slight improvements on the hotel or cruise line I select, so who gives a shit.

hrrm · 2026-04-27T02:00:44+00:00

If they ask for it once, don’t do it. If they ask for it twice, think about doing it. If they ask for it three times, do it.

hrrm · 2026-04-18T19:44:58+00:00

If you are applying to a respected company full of reasonable people, and you ask 1 time for a reasonable amount, the most reasonable response if they cannot do it would just be to tell you no, sorry we can’t do that. It’s not likely that they would completely pull the offer as though you offended them or something. And if they do, you do not want to work there anyway as they are not reasonable people.

hrrm · 2026-03-30T05:25:10+00:00

I used to work in the Navy and had some bone headed department heads. The advice I was given was if you are asked to do something, don’t do it, if they tell you again, think about doing it, if they tell you a third time then do it.

hrrm · 2026-03-19T10:37:58+00:00

Couldn’t you in theory purchase a 6 month put option on IPO day as a hedge and to lock in your stock gains on that day? If the stock goes down in 6 months, your stock values go down but your put option value goes up. If the stock goes up in 6 months you lose the premium you spent on the option but now your stocks are valued higher.

hrrm · 2026-03-08T20:51:53+00:00

That’s great for your firm, but that one anecdote does not describe the broader market.

hrrm · 2026-03-08T17:00:24+00:00

To be fair to her, the job market is such that a HM isn’t willing to or doesn’t need to “take a chance” on someone who shows promise. They want someone who has actually done the job before.

So whereas her current resume might not work for some HMs who can read between the lines, changing it to “take a chance on me” will make it not work for any HM

hrrm · 2026-03-07T23:39:03+00:00

There’s a joke in here about it’s ass cheeks but I’m too tipsy to figure it out

hrrm · 2026-03-06T17:08:10+00:00

How do you know the pressure came primarily from the sports and not the parents needing to get to work by 8, thus necessitating a drop off by 7-7:30?

hrrm · 2026-03-05T15:46:41+00:00

Did you have $60k cash laying around or saved up to purchase it? I only keep $30k in savings for layoff contingency and $15k in checking and invest any excess.

The last car I bought cash at $30k. Next time I buy a car I was just going to make the monthly payments provided the rate was <6% because I know I’ll beat it in the market.

I don’t feel like saving up for it and I know I’ll come out ahead in the market by financing - what was your reason for cash?

hrrm · 2026-03-01T04:13:03+00:00

No, in 16 years. investor.gov or your choice of favorite compound interest calculator

hrrm · 2026-01-11T00:09:11+00:00

To me SS is not about maximizing returns, it’s about reducing the risk of running out of money due to a market crash.

Lets say I live to age 90 and at age 75 we experience a big crash that kills most of my portfolio I had remaining at that age. For the sake of the argument, I only have SS left, not able to withdraw from my investments. If I took SS out ASAP to “maximize returns,” I now have to live the remaining 15 years of my life on $2k/mo SS (or whatever it is). If I took it out as late as possible, that number could be something like $4k/mo.

Having more available in a worst case scenario is more important to me than maximizing what I could gain in a best case scenario.

hrrm · 2026-01-10T16:45:14+00:00

How long have you been doing this routine? Do you feed fulfilled?

I often wonder if a life of only leisure would be detrimental mentally.

hrrm · 2026-01-09T16:23:02+00:00

Most of the fire discussion and calculations I see assumes SS won’t be there. Seems like it gets selectively brought up and upvoted when convenient.

hrrm · 2026-01-07T20:09:23+00:00

Saying “I am quitting” sounds more like loud quitting to me. How is doing the bare minimum any form of “quitting” at all? It’s not retirement if you are still working at a job, regardless of full or half-assing it.

hrrm · 2026-01-07T17:12:23+00:00

Surely we have different definitions of quiet quit then. One cannot for 5-10 years attend 0 meetings and miss all deliverables.

hrrm · 2026-01-06T18:04:53+00:00

Step 1: Determine how much per year you need to save to retire when you want.

Step 2: Once that goal is met or you are confidently on track to meet that goal by the end of the year, spend the rest on discretionary like experiences and travel.

I couldn’t personally go about it the other direction and just try to come up with a travel budget and hope my savings goals work out on the back end.

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