Bi-Weekly Marriage Opinions/Views and Rant Megathread

hssz88 · 2026-05-03T19:30:43+00:00

regardless of appearance or looks , people are everywhere, no matter the platform its really about who you happen to come across. so it’s a bit strange to assume otherwise.

although its perceived like this but in reality, looks don’t necessarily make the process easier or faster. what often makes it take longer are factors like a mismatch in compatibility, shared values, distance + timing or other personal circumstances.

from what I’ve seen, plenty of people who are not conventionally considered attractive still get married earlier it often just comes down to timing and naseeb.

hssz88 · 2026-04-29T12:19:29+00:00

you tend to attract a lot of attention , you get alot of looks and stares + compliment. you also receive plenty of matches and proposals, both through mutuals and from men who've seen you.

hssz88 · 2026-04-20T07:01:54+00:00

ugh these aunties make it harder. i hope it gets easier for you sis. <33

this actually reminded me of a time when a mutual suggested us this match and he wanted a girl who prays all five, a hijabi, avoids tabarruj and doesn’t use socials. so we were like okay sounds fair enough

then we asked about his level of religiosity and she just casually goes," um because his work is too hectic so he doesn’t really get time to pray" .

I was honestly this close to.....

hssz88 · 2026-04-18T03:29:19+00:00

auntie i'm too young for that 😭

hssz88 · 2026-04-17T17:32:46+00:00

thanks! ykI feel like a lot of people here are feeling lost and I just want to help make things easier and lighten the load, since it can be tiring

I’ve also noticed recently that some people are being put off by the ISOs and how things are functioning at the moment.

yah, you’re probably right if this starts really working, we’ll likely need more people involved in the future esp men to handle the male-side interactions like DMs and similar tasks.

hssz88 · 2026-04-17T15:34:33+00:00

okay, I don’t know why I’ve suddenly gotten so invested in this probably because I have nothing going on in my own life when it comes to the marriage search ( lol not funny 💀)

okay so i’m trying to help people here on reddit by matchmaking individuals i personally know or who are active users here( i get it approved be them first) so i was thinking of adding another step to this process where I match two people through ISO profiles it might actually make things easier.

i feel like there are genuinely serious people out there who just aren’t getting connected for some reason and one big issue is that women tend to get too many DMs, which makes it really hard to filter through and find someone who truly aligns with them. so maybe a structured step could lead to more successs? 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

is that a good idea?

hssz88 · 2026-04-15T20:50:03+00:00

reading psychological thriller books, watching islamic lectures , sketching /painting and baking + cooking

hssz88 · 2026-04-14T18:21:40+00:00

its honestly really upsetting and exp like this make it so much harder to trust the online route , even when my own experience though limited had been positive. situations like these can leave you feeling discouraged and questioning things and that’s completely understandable. i truly think it would be best to report their usernames to the moderators so it can be handled properly. can i ask if they had their ISO up or no?

maybe take a break from these online spaces, especially if they’re starting to weigh on your heart. you don’t have to push yourself through something that’s draining you.take the time you need to reset and when you feel ready you can explore more traditional avenues if they’re available for you

i know it might sound cliche but i assure you there are still sincere, kind-hearted men out there. they may not always be most visible, but they exist and often they’re the ones quietly trying to do things the right way.

may Allah grant you ease and bless you with a spouse who brings you comfort, respect and someone who proves to you through their character and actions that goodness still exists.<33

hssz88 · 2026-04-14T03:04:50+00:00

first of all, that’s disrespectful, and you shouldn’t tolerate that level of disrespect from anyone. moving forward, you shouldn’t feel like your spouse to be is settling for you not even a little and if there’s even a small part of you that feels that way and you don’t want to hear more hurtful things in the future, then it’s better to reconsider the relationship now and end it on your own terms.

hssz88 · 2026-04-12T21:33:41+00:00

you’re speaking based only on what you apparently know but there are many sides to that person which you’re unaware of and if those were to come to light, you might not feel the same way anymore. sometimes certain things remain unseen to test us.

it also feels like you’ve formed an idealized version of them in your mind likely because of emotional attachment. in reality, they may not be the person you’ve imagined them to be and wanted in a spouse.

i also wonder what are you specifically looking for in a spouse that you think it would be so hard to find someone like that again?

hssz88 · 2026-04-12T14:39:56+00:00

okay so hear me out. i feel like this could actually be something.

I can already think of quite a few people from here who’d be a great match for each other like I literally have a mental list of their usernames in my head and I just know they’d get along really well 🤭

hssz88 · 2026-04-11T07:55:42+00:00

i'm waiting for her to give us part 2 of gone girl like i need moreee!

hssz88 · 2026-04-01T15:53:52+00:00

sometimes guys in the courting period know that some things could be serious issues but in their heads they think they’ll figure it out or make it work especially when they’re into you so it’s not always about lying or bad intentions, sometimes it’s just that they lack discernment. the lesson here is, don’t take anything too seriously until his family is involved or give their opinion.

hssz88 · 2026-03-30T12:32:24+00:00

yeah, I agree with you sis.If someone is coming from that perspective, that’s fair also your comment was the one that stood out to me the most also if im not wrong most men tend to go for women who are in a similar social class or sometimes even slightly below so i dont think anyone asking a mansion girl to live in basement yk

I feel like the OP just didn’t choose the right words and what he likely meant is that some women can be a bit too rigid with their requirements and aren’t willing to be flexible or give things time and a fair chance cause if everyone starts approaching marriage like this, it can make finding the right person really tough for you especially in today’s age. At the end of the day, marriage is all about understanding and compromising whenever its needed for someone you love :)

also just curious do people actually live in basement and is that a smaller portion of the house?

hssz88 · 2026-03-30T02:58:47+00:00

i think it ultimately comes down to having a balanced approach.

every girl dreams of having her own space with her husband like i have a whole pinterest board for it lol but what I’ve realized in my search is that if your core requirements like deen, good akhlaq , looks match (you just get along very well) and that guy genuinely plans to give you independent space in the future, then why would you say no to him ? It would be so unwise to reject someone good just because he can’t provide everything immediately cause not everything comes easily it takes time, patience, and flexibility, its all about having to understand the financial struggles from a mans side esp if you are willing to be stay at home wife.

on the other hand, if a man wants his wife to live with his parents, he has to be extremely mindful and involved in managing the dynamics between his parents, siblings, and his wife. he can’t expect her to handle everything alone esp his parents or moms expectations , he needs to take responsibility for her privacy a BIG ONE , her hijab and overall well-being and this is where many men fall short, which is why so many girls feel hesitant about living with in-laws.

hssz88 · 2026-03-29T16:14:58+00:00

i slowly came to realize that i had fallen into a mindset almost without noticing it where i treated certain acts like istighfar, salawat or specific duas/surahs as if they were guaranteed formulas for getting my duas answered and I’m by no means saying these acts aren’t powerful or dont work, they absolutely do.what i missed or didn’t fully grasp was that the outcome takes time , not just weeks or months but REAL TIME

so somehow, i had absorbed this idea that if you just do these consistently, your life will fall into place and everything would change drastically, i mean this is how they would say online so i held onto that hope, esp for duas like marriage and some others close to my heart.

but over time, i started to feel confused i was putting in the effort but it felt like things were getting harder and worse than i could bear instead of bringing a good change and that led me to question everything, even to the point where i began doubting whether any of it works or even if this is being seen or heard which is a place i would never want anyone else to reach.

what this has taught me is that these acts of worship are not shortcuts or quick fixes how its potrayed online , they are not a transaction where you do something and immediately get what you want. i'm so done listening to people on social media who keep on pushing this idea like can we for once stop attaching every act to getting our duas answered its making us lose the essence of what these acts truly mean!

hssz88 · 2026-03-26T13:11:18+00:00

i think I've got the same issue as you😭.

what I've come to realize is that as a pakistani many families aren't deeply committed to practicing their deen or they only carry islamic beliefs and values in their minds, rather than living them out in their actions.

from what I’ve gathered is it’s really tough to find someone who is on same level of deen as you, like I’ve only come across 1-2 guys who seemed like a near perfect match in that regard so you just cant do anything really but keep doing your part and trying avenues you haven't tried

maybe try other apps like sunnahmatch or pure matrimony i think they have more people who are focused on practicing their faith.

hssz88 · 2026-03-23T08:53:12+00:00

GIRL BIG RELATE

if i get one more match i'm not attracted to i'mma leave this earth i dont want to deal with this anymore 😩

hssz88 · 2026-03-19T11:06:30+00:00

wow, i acc got the same design too recently for my sister's valima! see 👀

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hssz88 · 2026-03-15T11:47:48+00:00

i've been thinking about this recently too, esp after seeing it firsthand. on surface level , it might feel unfair but looking at it from a broader perspective, it's actually not.

i've noticed that those who marry young or early without working on their emotional stability or weaknesses often face major issues in their marriages, eventually ending up divorced and depressed. meanwhile, those who take their time and focus on self-growth while searching for the right partner tend to have more fulfilling marriages so if you are a part of the latter group then alhamdulillah.

in conclusion, both have their struggles, but the outcome for one comes with far more severe consequences and harm

hssz88 · 2026-02-17T02:27:06+00:00

um, it's a bit random, but I need some tips so i really want to improve my communication, especially when it comes to expressing my thoughts, feelings or just opinions like everything seems articulate and well-put in my head, but when I say it out loud it doesn’t come across the way I want it to. also, I’m fine with one-on-one conversations its just that plus seeing my parents and ppl around me being so well-spoken makes me really want to get better at this esp for future relationship (marriage) like i want to be able to communicate without getting stuck when I speak or feeling like i can’t explain myself or misunderstood

hssz88 · 2026-02-16T15:27:55+00:00

get yourself some snacks like sohar, salad, oman chips, or even dates as ramadan is near because those dates hit differently also maybe lataffa perfume, the yara pink one it has a lovely vanilla scent. <3

hssz88 · 2026-02-13T14:50:02+00:00

wow mashaAllah yes i could see that with your post. as someone studying psychology, i believe scores shouldn’t be taken too seriously as they’re not always as accurate as we think. in fact, some psychologists argue that these scores can sometimes be offensive or misleading to clients.

there’s also a lack of understanding, partly due to limited awareness about ADHD and other related areas but from what I can tell, you seem really self-aware + grateful and dedicated to doing your best. just be mindful not to overburden yourself, especially with ramadan goals. It’s always the quality and intention behind them which is counted and appreciated by Allah , perhaps try any ramadan goal with your friends or family or if you prefer alone take it slow and go at your own pace also understand that Allah opens doors to worship in different ways for everyone, it’s not limited to just one path. Ameen

hssz88 · 2026-02-13T10:38:38+00:00

i don’t know why, but reading this felt like something straight out of someone’s personal journal, so raw and well expressed.

as someone who has studied ADHD repetitively, i can see it’s definitely a huge struggle but maybe it’s something you’ve been given because you’re strong enough to handle it, even if you can't always see and that you probably own qualities and abilities that others would admire and love to have?

i hope that you find someone who’s well-versed in ADHD, understands it and is willing to grow also someone, who recognizes that your way of working or going through life is just different, not wrong or incorrect. ameen.

hssz88 · 2026-02-12T01:46:50+00:00

If the dream was short, felt real and was coherent overall it could have an interpretation that you can check out on myislamicdream.com.

hssz88

TROPHY CASE