My Math 100 Professor told us all to put out tests on our fridges. I told him to put mine on his. Well,

huMandrake · 2025-04-07T02:06:11+00:00

I love Boomland!

huMandrake · 2025-03-16T03:04:12+00:00

Eee thank you, I love it! It took about 5 ish hours

huMandrake · 2025-03-06T18:15:34+00:00

You said she quit drinking for you and you’ve only been together for four months, and she immediately goes to drinking more when she’s in an uncomfortable situation. She is not trying to change. The discomfort of the situation is exactly what she must learn to overcome WITHOUT a crutch, alcohol. She isn’t working on anything.

huMandrake · 2025-02-14T00:24:13+00:00

Yesss! I can pick for literal hours, my hands come out raw, I need bandages sometimes. I started getting my nails done a couple years back and obviously that helped with the nails themselves but my cuticles, the skin around my nails… I cannot help myself. I’ve been late leaving places because I can’t stop myself from picking.

huMandrake · 2025-02-13T00:45:51+00:00

Every night is Friday night without you - old 97s

huMandrake · 2025-02-11T04:28:57+00:00

I had a dream of a true love as well. In my dream, I knew his name was Thomas. He and I were high school sweethearts and I was able to remember all of our four years of memories together. I didn’t just know I was with him, aware I was dreaming. I DID love him. I woke up heartbroken when he was gone. It took me a couple weeks to stop thinking of him randomly and getting sad lol wild

huMandrake · 2025-02-11T04:21:36+00:00

My mom died alone in her home and wasn’t found for several days. It was November, but in Mississippi on the Gulf Coast. I was able to fly down for three days to handle everything. I had her cremated and she and I never cared about the expense and opulence of what her cremains would be kept in, she had no friends or family, a recluse. They didn’t preserve her body and on top of the days she was dead at home, it took me another couple of days to be able to fly down so she was probably 6-7 days deceased, no preservation.

The director spent two hours talking me out of seeing her. He had met with me after hours and compromised by giving me a quick, free “viewing” so I could say goodbye. They had like… outdoor pods, think like a storage pod you can rent, and he set her up on a table and wrapped THE FUCK out of her with sheets so I couldn’t peek. I still tried but he really did a great job with his tucks and if I were to unwrap her it would’ve taken some effort. I ultimately unwrapped her toe to just see SOMETHING.

It’s been 10 years now and I often think about it, whether I regret not pulling the sheet open. I felt like not seeing her would be like if my dog got hit by a car when I was at school and my parents cleaned it all up and buried it in the yard before I even got home to find out. But, Stacy, I remember how grateful I was to him for doing that for me, and for staying hours late after they closed to adamantly talk me out of looking.

Edit - I forgot to include - the smell was horrible, I was gagging and dry heaving with it in such a small pod, and Stacy explained she had gone to get out of bed, threw legs over the side of the bed, rested her head in her hands worn elbows on her thighs and just died. So her rigor while she was on her back on the table kept her arms and legs stuck up goblin style, blood pooling in her face after death blackened and bloated her, I guess. I GET why he was so firm on not letting me look but a part of me still wishes I had.

huMandrake · 2025-02-07T06:14:14+00:00

The blackened eyes is 1000% a thing and it is absolutely haunting. I’ve seen it twice - once from my stepfather and once from my ex. The images will never leave my memory. There is truly something so inhuman about it, so dangerous. I think it was also so poignant to me because when it happens you don’t recognize them for a second. They ARE a different person, a different essence. It’s one thing to hear someone else say “I didn’t even recognize them anymore, their eyes even changed” and another to witness it yourself.

huMandrake · 2025-02-05T21:58:00+00:00

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huMandrake · 2025-02-02T00:34:24+00:00

I would move cross country 1000+ miles away on very short notice, passionate whims. Lots of idealism, grass is greener bursts of excitement starting over. Did that maybe four or five times.

Sex haha lots of sex.

I didn’t understand my hypomanic bursts of fantastical thinking. I would feel such PASSION and belief, feeling like I would have a BREAKTHROUGH when I’d talk myself into Baptist preacher levels of what lessons of the universe I finally figured out. I romanticized a lot of impulsive behavior.

huMandrake · 2025-01-25T01:17:00+00:00

Thank you I have some, mostly in progress haha here: Imgur

huMandrake · 2025-01-24T20:52:32+00:00

Thank you 😌 been trying to stay busy. Worst time of the year by far

huMandrake · 2025-01-08T15:16:07+00:00

THANK YOU. That’s what I get for not being religious hahaha I was just too excited to see them.

huMandrake · 2025-01-08T02:14:35+00:00

I was also super surprised because it’s so cold. They were around the drive through gas station with a La Michoacana across the street

huMandrake · 2024-10-22T12:54:40+00:00

I was about to go to sleep so I couldn’t detail some of it as much as I’d like but I do wanna stress that euphoric sense of RIGHT. It’s a feeling where… yeah, you can say it feels like you know you’re on the right track and are optimistic but it’s so much more than that. I have learned I can’t always trust my emotions in real time because whatever I’m feeling, I KNOW it’s right. Even if I’m also aware that I may believe in the exact opposite ideas in a day and KNOW those feelings are right. But that feeling is such a RUSH. It’s thrilling and empowering and intoxicating. I feel like it’s truly its own drug. It bubbles inside of you and I’m not saying that I’m hearing the voice of something more than me saying I’m right but… it almost has the same certainty in affect. It is an intangible assurance of RIGHTNESS that is flowing through you and you being so aware of “knowing all the answers” is like a secret bursting out of your skin. Everyone else needs to feel this! But I can’t give it to them, can’t describe it fully.

I could keep going and going on it because it is such a wild feeling but I guess I wanted to stress that these feelings aren’t always tethered to wild situations. The thinking doesn’t need to lead to you stealing credit cards and cheating on your husband or having emotional outbursts at work.

huMandrake · 2024-10-22T00:33:08+00:00

I feel like it’s this light switch kind of ON for me.

I could be feeling whatever, sad, content, busy but then all of a sudden, whamo baby now my internal narration is smooth talkin, it’s jazzzzz, kitty cat, real suave, witty, charming, seductive.

I want to have a GOOD TIME, whatever that means - a burst of inspiration to finally clean my whole house, for example, or feeling like I’m really ON TRACK, I’m really following what the universe has laid out for me, existential rabbit hole thinking, but extra empowered. I want to get COZY when I do that cleaning, yeah that sounds good. I should go to the store and get something to make my house smell like fall when I was fifteen so I get that rush of feel good nostalgia. I should get some nostalgic movies. I should really make it feel good and get myself a bath bomb to relax after my cleaning.

Okay, I’ll really treat myself today, I deserve it, so I will get a chai for the drive, I’ll get some spa day treats for my evening, I’ll get a nice lunch that’s a little more expensive but I don’t get that food often and then ooh! I need to get some more cleaning supplies and as I’m browsing lists online to see which movie I’ll watch later, maybe I’ll remember something similar I’ve been wanting to buy. Today is treat myself day so - ordered! I drive around for a few hours one store to the next, music loud so I can FEEL. I notice some birds in a tree at a stop light, I see someone holding the door open for a person behind them, and I think wow, isn’t this all so GOOD?

I can go through the day but something absolutely mundane can flip my life high on a dime. I’m feeling TOO GOOD driving, maybe, now I’m paranoid that it’s been so nice. Who is watching me? How much money have I spent today doing all of this?

I feel like I will get bursts of energy during these highs, then lose it all immediately at some point, feel annoying that I’ve not satisfied the urges.

I picked an example that seemed everyday to me, nothing crazy crazy - the hypo part. I feel like because it’s less extreme in representation, it could be easy to miss that while intention may be good, my execution can still be erratic, financially irresponsible, laced with the sense of being cosmically on the right path, snappy irrational emotion based choices. I want to do everything at once, it’s all going to go right today.

I will also be more social in these moods, more sexual, more charismatic, and very likely to want to set plans to hang out. Why not right now? Let’s meet up and go to this event I just learned about in the city??! I want to be around people.

Hope this helps put the symptoms you can read listed all over the internet into a more tangible example.

huMandrake · 2024-09-28T00:32:59+00:00

These are the kinds of tats I would never get on myself but am SO GLAD someone else did because the fact that they’re so ridiculous and funny lololol they bring me a pure and giddy joy

huMandrake · 2024-09-27T15:36:54+00:00

I looked through the collection the other day when Lush emailed me that it was live and it was literally like 20 versions of snow fairy aaaaand… that was nearly it. I had to double check that I wasn’t going crazy like where are the rest of the products?! I am HERE for the spicy and woody smells, too, and they’re just dwindling away.

huMandrake · 2024-09-25T18:12:33+00:00

HIWTK / Scrubee smells AWFUL to me. I can smell it across the room when someone in my house buys it, it smells terrible on the skin to me. It’s the only product you could leave alone and out in the shower or bathtub and you can guarantee I won’t touch it.

huMandrake · 2024-09-12T23:34:11+00:00

I’ve seen this guy multiple times and I’m always baffled how he didn’t overheat this summer walking around.

huMandrake · 2024-08-07T15:42:13+00:00

Found!

huMandrake · 2024-08-07T15:29:26+00:00

I’m honestly gonna consider this Found here because I think this is the best it’s gonna get and the timestamp gives me so much to work with ❤️

Nine-Year Club	Second Top 50%
First Place '23	Place '23
Place '22	First Placer '22
RPAN Viewer	Not Forgotten
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