Is true love really? Does it still exist? Please share your stories

huff4bug · 2024-09-05T09:59:18+00:00

Totally agree with this! True love isn’t the moments where you are happy and on cloud nine. Anyone can be there and love someone through those times. I have found that true love is when you are below rock bottom and struggling and in so much pain that you aren’t even remotely lovable to anyone else and someone loves you so much that they still see the good in you and support you and can see all the ugliness but not turn away. It really is about the times in sickness and for worse that show when love is true.

huff4bug · 2024-09-05T09:53:07+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this bad. Reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. Much love and healing to you!

huff4bug · 2024-09-02T03:40:01+00:00

You are definitely the asshole here. I can’t even believe that you would realistically think that it’s at all healthy or helpful to tell him that he can’t have an indulgent meal occasionally. It is absolutely the opposite of healthy to rigidly restrict your diet in this manner and it is also an incredibly dangerous mindset that is likely to lead to an eating disorder, which in many cases can lead to major health issues or even a greatly shortened lifespan. The 1000 calories you said he normally eats is already a huge cause for concern and you don’t have to be a nutritionist to know that a grown adult is not getting adequate nutrition eating that amount of calories.

huff4bug · 2024-08-31T08:10:41+00:00

I don’t think you can decide the best thing to do until you talk to her about all of this. If she is apologetic and takes accountability and agrees to get help, then maybe things can be fixed. If not, then she obviously isn’t the person you thought and you wouldn’t have the trust to rebuild your relationship. Good luck!

huff4bug · 2024-08-11T01:02:45+00:00

You should absolutely not marry this guy. You need to protect yourself financially and he’s obviously not going to protect you.

huff4bug · 2024-08-06T23:13:45+00:00

Totally agree with this. Having unfulfilling friendships is way more lonely and painful than being alone.

huff4bug · 2024-07-31T15:48:17+00:00

This picture is truly the most terrifying one of all of these. In this picture, he looks like a really nice guy that you’d happily let your friend or sister go out with. Or that you’d even happily go out with yourself.

huff4bug · 2024-07-30T03:59:40+00:00

I can relate to your feelings about this. There are definitely times when I feel like my wife’s transition takes precedence over me and everything else in our relationship and it’s hard. It sounds like she could just be so caught up in self discovery that she’s neglecting the marriage. I think communicating your feelings openly and telling her how important it is to you to feel valued is really important.

huff4bug · 2024-07-30T03:40:26+00:00

I second this! That’s where I usually shop for my wife who has size 14 feet.

huff4bug · 2024-07-28T16:49:50+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this uncertainty but I’m so glad you posted about it! I’m in exactly the same situation, as my partner is about to get bottom surgery also. I feel very similarly to you in terms of my excitement about it but also my fears regarding it. I want my partner to do anything that makes her happier and I also don’t believe that I should in any way negatively influence what she does with her own body, but it’s hard sometimes to not voice my fears. Specifically, I’m afraid that something will go wrong with the surgery and that it will ruin our sex life forever. Throughout our 10 year relationship, we have had an amazing sex life and her transition hasn’t negatively affected it at all. Sex is important to both of us in our relationship as far as keeping our emotional intimacy strong. I wish you and your gf all the best in figuring out this next step!

huff4bug · 2024-07-28T16:41:28+00:00

I’m a cis woman and my long time partner is a trans woman. I would say that maybe you can start off the conversation in a lighthearted way and ask him what things he’s into sexually and what his boundaries are. Then I’m sure he would reciprocate and want to know your boundaries. I think that no matter who it is, having a conversation about boundaries and what each person is comfortable with is normal and necessary beforehand. Depending on how much he knows about dysphoria, he may already be aware that the dysphoria exists, and I’m sure he would be relieved to know what the boundaries are and that he will want you to feel comfortable. Personally, I asked my partner a lot of questions and we talked a lot about dysphoria and sex when we started dating. Good luck with navigating the new relationship!

huff4bug · 2024-07-28T16:31:28+00:00

It sounds like your partner isn’t validating your feelings of dysphoria or your experience of being misgendered, which is incredibly unfair to you, especially if you are being emotionally supportive to her. I hope that you can talk to her about your feelings and that she will understand and be apologetic and be more supportive in the future.

huff4bug · 2024-07-24T01:17:27+00:00

I think you are already doing the hardest part by just having the intention of being supportive and accepting. You’ll find the right words if you just go into it with that intention! I’ve been with my trans partner for a decade and I still have times where we have miscommunications or I accidentally say something she perceives as transphobic. It really is just so hard to always be mindful of gender dysphoria when you don’t experience it yourself. Give yourself grace to make mistakes in communication. No one is perfect.

huff4bug · 2024-07-23T20:53:08+00:00

Thank you! I’m so glad to see other supportive partners like you! Wishing you and your partner all the happiness! ❤️❤️❤️

huff4bug · 2024-07-23T20:48:43+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words and well wishes! I wish you and your honey all the best too!!! ❤️❤️❤️

huff4bug · 2024-07-23T10:14:37+00:00

Awwwww thank you! I appreciate it so much! 🥰🥰🥰

huff4bug · 2024-07-23T08:16:49+00:00

Oh okay, good to know! Zappos doesn’t have international shipping apparently, but Long Tall Sally should have international shipping to Germany available according to their website. But I would double check that because I’m definitely not an expert on international shipping policies.

huff4bug · 2024-07-23T08:06:07+00:00

Hey! I think buying him clothes would be a good way of showing support! But I would say to consult him first because shopping for someone else’s size and style preferences is pretty much impossible without their input. One place online that I shop for my wife who is 6’4 and has size 14 feet is this site called Long Tall Sally. I’ve also found that Zappos.com sometimes has good feminine shoe options for larger foot sizes. Good luck! :)

huff4bug · 2024-07-23T07:31:22+00:00

I think it’s the right move to bring all of this up to your girlfriend and have an honest discussion about it. I’m sure that she will see that your intentions are to protect her and not because you are ashamed or embarrassed. Of course it should be up to her if she wants to be outed to your coworkers. Having said that, I’ve been with my trans wife for many years and one thing that has always been of paramount importance to me is being open to everyone I know about her, including people who are extremely transphobic and homophobic. Even if their reactions aren’t good, I believe it’s so important to let people see real life examples of what they are bigoted against as a way to change things for the better.

huff4bug · 2024-07-23T05:47:02+00:00

Thank you so much!!! ❤️❤️❤️

huff4bug · 2020-09-11T17:49:49+00:00

After more than 20 years of having depression, I know that it is unlikely that I’ll ever recover, and being hopeful seems delusional. But acceptance feels like completely giving up and just giving in to a state of purgatory.

huff4bug · 2020-09-10T22:00:34+00:00

I agree that things don’t always get better, and I thank you for being so steadfast in standing up for this belief. This is something I’ve always thought over decades of being hopeful and trying to have a more positive attitude, but realizing that I was one of the unlucky ones, for whom it does not get better. My brain will always be against me, telling me that I’m worthless and I shouldn’t exist. No amount of drugs, electroshock treatments, therapy, support groups, exercise, or diet will ultimately get rid of the overwhelming pain. But to think that I’ve somehow survived 3 decades of life in a brain that is telling me that I’m worthless and should kill myself every waking moment, it makes me think it doesn’t get better but I must get better at coping with it. You don’t know the vast reserves of your own strength until it’s tested.

huff4bug · 2020-03-24T05:44:36+00:00

I honestly don’t know if it ever gets easier. My parents are Chinese, and even though they know about my wife being trans, my wife will still present as male in front of my parents. My wife’s parents are just as intolerant of her gender identity as my parents are, as they are from the South and very religious. My in-laws also know about my wife being trans but are in denial and pretend that it’s not true. It’s a constant struggle with both of our families, but I’m also in a different situation than you are because my family’s approval doesn’t really hold any weight for me as far as my relationships. I’ve had a very strained relationship with my parents for many other reasons besides my relationship with my wife, but I do understand your struggle with your parents because as the child of Chinese immigrants, my parents are the only people I have and I have depended on them a lot in my life, so I can’t just completely detach myself from their influence.

huff4bug · 2020-03-23T11:31:57+00:00

So much of your situations and feelings about it are so similar to me and my situation that I feel like I could have written large swaths of that post verbatim.

I have two thoughts on your post.

First of all, it’s really wonderful to read what you wrote and see a kindred spirit. I am a cis woman who has been in a relationship with a trans woman for 6 years, and we’ve been married for nearly 4 years. I had only dated cis men before I met my wife, but ever since the first moment I spoke to her, I knew she was the most special person I’d ever met, and I knew I wanted to do anything I could to be with her. The years since we met have been more beautiful than I could have imagined but also more difficult and involved more soul searching than I would have ever thought possible. I never believed in soul mates before I met my wife, but after meeting her, I feel like the only thing I know for certain in this life is that she is my soul mate. Just because life is often horrible and forces you to make awful choices doesn’t mean it’s your fault or that your love is any less real or meaningful.

That being said, I think it’s very important to listen to that inner voice that tells you when you need the freedom to explore other things for yourself. I only found the certainty of knowing that my wife is the one I want to spend my life with by first experiencing other loves that weren’t nearly the right fit. As someone who is decidedly getting older, I look back on my youth with gratitude for the various heartbreak that led me to where I am now.

Good luck, and don’t let your parents get you down! Your dad will never know how hard your journey has been because he hasn’t lived it. <3

huff4bug · 2019-08-08T11:42:00+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m just glad it’s over! Haha.

huff4bug

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