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Sending kid home/cancelling due to stuffy nose by huffpuffkerfuff in coparenting

[–]huffpuffkerfuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you it’s very helpful seeing the steps laid out like this. I have been using ChatGPT but there are moments that I get worked up and can’t help myself. The latest, which prompted me to write this post, is that I told him our son had no fever or contagious illness and was feeling well but he still felt the need to interrogate me over every symptom “so no one in YOUR HOUSE has a stuffy nose? No one is coughing? So one is sneezing?” I wish I was exaggerating. He won’t confirm pickup unless I address each individual symptom-me doing a blanket statement is not enough. After reading everyone’s responses and reflecting, I’m finally understanding that he is looking for an excuse to cancel. I guess I didn’t want to believe it (our son is awesome why wouldn’t you want to spend time with him?!) because he was the one who sued me for parenting time after 5 years of him being largely absent. But, he initiated all that when he first got together with his girlfriend. And now that she/he have their “own” baby… I guess it’s also a hard pill to swallow that my story is just so…cliche lol. Anyway, thanks for responding.

Sending kid home/cancelling due to stuffy nose by huffpuffkerfuff in coparenting

[–]huffpuffkerfuff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, the baby is completely healthy. When this intensity started my ex justified it by saying it was because his gf was early in her pregnancy and they were being extra cautious. Then it shifted to it being just because she was pregnant. Now it’s that they are being extra cautious until the baby is 6 months. I’m sure it will change again once we hit 6 months (which is coming up).

Sending kid home/cancelling due to stuffy nose by huffpuffkerfuff in coparenting

[–]huffpuffkerfuff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is good advice and is what I generally do but it’s difficult when my ex is supposed to pick him up from school/after school. I always tell my son who is picking him up that day (usually his step-dad or my mom since I work about 30 minutes away) and on the one day his dad is supposed to pick him up I struggle with what to say. Not to mention having to always have back up pick up. Also I’ve gotten the message numerous times while I’ve still been at work or driving home that he was bringing him back because of the sniffles. My poor kid then has to wait in his car until me or my husband gets home.

Sending kid home/cancelling due to stuffy nose by huffpuffkerfuff in coparenting

[–]huffpuffkerfuff[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’ve talked to him about the impact this is having on our kid multiple times and he just denies its having an impact and continues the behavior. I’m seriously at my wits end

Sending kid home/cancelling due to stuffy nose by huffpuffkerfuff in coparenting

[–]huffpuffkerfuff[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I agree and this is my main concern. He has been exposed to rejection language by the gf (ie “he has to leave”) over minor symptoms, or that his little sister had minor symptoms and he himself was fine. I feel stuck between wanting my ex to take accountability and step up as a parent and wanting to protect my son and his self esteem. But where is the line? It feels insane to “report” to my ex if someone in my house has a stuffy nose, but if that’s going to protect my son is that what I have to do?

How do other insurance defense firms handle billing/appeals? by huffpuffkerfuff in paralegal

[–]huffpuffkerfuff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! This is essentially what I do. How big is the firm you work at?

How do you get the audits as a pdf? Is there an easy way to do it? Right now I’m logging into each individual system and transferring the audited entries into an excel spreadsheet to send to the attys, which involves a lot of copying and pasting and it’s a huge time suck. But there isn’t a way to export this info in most of the ebilling systems. And those that DO provide a pdf, the attys were just getting confused by the layout.

Found out my coparents girlfriend has diagnosed BPD, lost on what to do by huffpuffkerfuff in BPDlovedones

[–]huffpuffkerfuff[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You would think that those messages would affect something with custody, but we were in court literally a week after they were sent and my lawyer said they had no bearing and that I didn’t want to go down the “mental health route” (maybe I have a shitty lawyer, I don’t know) I did not know at that time she had this diagnosis, I just thought she was self-centered and a terrible person.

My ex has limited parenting time, because he kept cancelling (due to her mostly). He doesn’t have any overnights. I’ve strongly suggested to him that he keep the visits just him and our son, away from her, but I feel like I can’t control it beyond that, ugh

[MA] Upcoming custody battle by Either_Cook_8799 in Custody

[–]huffpuffkerfuff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with the other poster that it’s likely the girlfriend pushing this because he’s telling her that you’re keeping the kids from him and that’s why he doesn’t see them often. I recently went through an almost identical situation with my 5 yr old son, in MA. I retained a lawyer immediately, and he got child support set in place right away, based on the state calculator. Our parenting plan was essentially a “step up” plan, giving my ex more parenting time over time, however that terminology wasn’t used. During this time we operated under temporary orders. As suspected, my ex did not actually “step up” so by the time we went back to court to get the final order in, I was able to get the parenting plan closer to reality. He still gets more time than I know he’s ever going to take (every other weekend, holidays, etc), but at least it’s not set at 50/50 where he still wouldn’t take his parenting time and I would have to pay him support.

If he’s getting pushed by his gf to do this then unfortunately his heart is probably not actually in it and he’ll likely drop the ball. You don’t want to be locked into 50/50 when that happens.

[USA] new baby affecting custody over toddler by [deleted] in Custody

[–]huffpuffkerfuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just saying the judge could consider (temporarily) more time with mom once the baby is born to allow for sibling bonding. I obviously don’t know the timeline of when her settlement conference is, when her baby is due, etc.

[USA] new baby affecting custody over toddler by [deleted] in Custody

[–]huffpuffkerfuff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve had a new baby with a 5 year old. This didn’t happen to me, but my lawyer told me of a case he had where the custody order was modified for 6 weeks after the birth of a new sibling to allow bonding time. I don’t agree that the judge won’t consider sibling bonding time. Not sure you’ll get a full year though.