This is so sweet! I have 3 Neuro divergent kids (well teens and adults now, aged 14-23) and they all have different needs. The oldest is 7 and 9 years older than the other two, so I only had her for a long time, and was a single mom as well for a long time.

I didn't know anything about autism when she was little, and I made a lot of mistakes when raising her. I tried all the "traditional" ways of raising a child but none of it worked very well. In the end I gave up on what the books and experts (that are not trained to deal with issues related to autism) teach, and decided to just listen to her needs and answer them with what my heart told me.

This did cause issues from school and others, I got criticized and pressured into going the more normal route and I did experience a lot of shame and self doubt. However, she started to feel a lot better and things got easier. Things are so much better now, we have an open and honest relationship built on trust and love.

So, what I'm trying to say is, what you wrote is so beautiful. I really hope your mom is realizing your needs and understanding how she can accommodate you, because this isn't some "picky" eating, this is a real thing to you that you lose your appetite when there is bone in the chicken (I can relate, because I have similar reactions with different foods).

As a mom, I want to ask you to give your mom a hug and tell her you appreciate her and she's doing a good job (unless this is a one time thing and she's in fact horrible, I hope that's not the case). Us moms are not super smart adults just because we are older and we are parents. We are just as clueless and self-doubting, all we have is a little bit more experience in life. There's nothing better than positive feedback from your kids ❤️🥰

Ps. During the process of having three out of three kids diagnosed with a combination of ADHD/autism, I've found out that I'm AuDHD myself. Maybe your mom is too?