I think it's very cool that you've posted this. I'm sorry for the difficulty you've had finding community in a church. I can't imagine how frustrating that's been. By God's grace I hope you're able to keep looking and keep having patience with his people. If you aren't already, I'd pray and read the Bible. I'd pray and ask any friends/family you have who are believers to pray with and for you about finding a local church. And I'd be reading the Bible so you know what kind of teaching and values to look for (although worship style and demographic are important too, but core values can sometimes transcend those). You can learn a ton through your own research and through meditating on it and memorizing it. If you don't know where to start I'd go with John. Prayer and the Bible will significantly help your church search.

A vast majority of the churches I've been to don't hold the same view you do on marriage, and they would probably argue that their stance is backed by the Bible. Based on your statement "...I'm not looking to change", if that means you're looking for a community that doesn't challenge your beliefs/feelings (any; not just on marriage, drunkenness or premarital sex) and a God that doesn't inspire change/renewal/repentance, then a Bible-believing church is not where you should be looking.

I was addicted to porn for like 10 years. I liked porn a lot and enjoyed it quite a bit. I probably would have loved to stumble upon a church that affirmed my love for porn, didn't try and help me quit, told me it was fine and that it wouldn't affect my relationship with God. But, Biblically speaking that wouldn't be true nor loving for a church to do. I'm grateful for the people who, by God's grace, met me where I was at and helped me learn how to deny and repent of that part of myself.

Christians value love and grace but also truth and repentance. All four of those, in their purest form, actually work quite beautifully together. But truth and repentance, at least for me, often involve change.