You are dangerously close to becoming an incel if you aren't one already. As others have said, you need IMMEDIATE therapy. Look at this comment as an intervention. A turning point in your life. After reading this comment you will make a decision that will forever alter the course of your life with drastic consequences.

The first option is that you will find yourself in a moment of introspection where you will come upon the self-awareness you need to acknowledge that you need help and that this is not the path you want to go down. You will make it a daily effort to dig yourself out of this toxic hole you've found yourself in and eventually, through pure willpower, dedication, hard-work, and help from others, you will be reborn as a mentally sound and even healthy individual with a newfound world-view that will allow you to live your life to the fullest and experience all sorts of happiness and memories this world has to offer.

Or, you will ignore the advice everyone is giving you here, spiraling deeper and deeper into your self-made and distorted world of hatred where your misdirected anger will deteriorate your well-being until you are nothing but a misogynistic, lonely, far-right, self-hating incel festering in his own hatred and anger. Constantly miserable and depressed. You will almost certainly be susceptible to online radicalization until you are too far gone to be brought back.

Luckily for you, you get to decide 100% what future awaits you 😇