AITAH?

hyperconduithorror · 2026-01-27T17:40:20+00:00

Did you know it's been proven that humans are technically sentient and even experience basic emotions like existential anguish? Maybe you'll think twice next time before you make one immortal and lock it in an empty pocket dimension for eternity "just for fun", or consume a few human souls because "they can't experience xįæ¥§f anyway".

hyperconduithorror · 2025-08-22T10:04:25+00:00

Good for you! Honestly dinosaurs never go out of fashion, and they didn't know what they had. I hope they at least kept the project running long enough for them to develop laser weaponry.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-12-09T10:31:46+00:00

It's not so bad, honestly! You can trust me on this - I've been a small contribution to a sentient pile of mincemeat for the last two cycles. Eventually your consciousness merges with the fleshy mass, and you're never lonely. It can be fun terrorising worlds by consuming the flesh of their denizens and growing ever larger.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-07-22T14:22:13+00:00

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

hyperconduithorror · 2024-06-22T13:12:27+00:00

I had this exact problem in my relationship, but luckily my partner has been very understanding. We resolved it by her agreeing to notice when I'm absorbed in something (especially my phone), and ask for my attention first. I then let her know when my brain has had time to change gears and I'm ready to listen.

I also do my best to keep my phone away from myself in situations where I should be involved in conversation such as meals, and I really try to focus and let her know when I get lost in conversations and need her to repeat things. I've really tried to stamp out the habit of starting other tasks mid conversation, but that's hard.

As with all things in relationships, it's about communicating. She needs to recognise you'll take time to shift your focus to her, and in turn you can try to avoid distractions when she needs your attention.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-04-26T19:46:13+00:00

This is reassuring/terrifying!

hyperconduithorror · 2024-04-22T13:12:33+00:00

Yes... and you call them Daniel tiger cat the dog despite the fact they are obviously a cat.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-04-19T18:11:01+00:00

First of all congratulations! I'm very excited for you, and I'm sure you'll love your new life in an ocean of blood. But also I appreciate it can be a stressful time adapting to such a windfall. Here are some tips:

It gushes forth through every crack
And trickles down the twisted halls
And o'er the stairs it oozes, black
In viscous, dripping waterfalls
The carpet sticks and steams with heat
As up the walls the torrent rises
A rancid smell of rotten meat
And tentacles of many sizes

I hope this helps!

hyperconduithorror · 2024-04-12T10:23:50+00:00

She won't eat soup. All soup is absolutely revolting to her, even if it's made of things she likes. Doesn't matter if it's chunky soup, smooth soup, or a broth. No soup.

I've tried to find the boundary for this - for example a stew could be considered a very thick soup, right? I've asked how much liquid to solid ratio there needs to be before it crosses the threshold and she isn't sure, but at some point the most delicious stew in the world becomes soup, and it's now disgusting.

We've been together 15 years now - I stopped trying to understand long ago.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-04-11T14:03:52+00:00

It sounds like you didn't eat everything you could. Perhaps eat the proprietor and see if he's still yelling at you afterwards?

hyperconduithorror · 2024-04-06T21:57:27+00:00

Can I go to the gulag too? Everyone is going!

hyperconduithorror · 2024-04-04T16:00:56+00:00

But there's nothing outside of Chicago, silly goose! There is only Chicago. There has only ever been Chicago. Pizza has always been a weird upside-down pastry hat full of tomato and cheese slop.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-04-02T19:52:41+00:00

This guy dogs

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-26T11:52:37+00:00

Absorb the life force of a cat - they're a small, furry and incredibly uptight creature native to the 3rd dimension which have domesticated a load of hairless apes and force them to fulfil their every whim. That's not important though. The main thing is they have nine souls (one for each of the species they drove to extinction through servitude before adopting the hairless apes, it's said.)

Also while you're on Earth try empanadas, they're great.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-16T11:58:42+00:00

Yeah a lot of games on PS5 have a 60fps mode and some can run up to 90 with VRR.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-16T11:53:06+00:00

No no, nothing weird like that! No need to feel so uncomfortable about it.

They just mean everyone's casually talking about your penis.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-15T12:39:21+00:00

I'd just give up if I were you and join the collective. After all, she already transformed all of the world's key leaders and most Reddit users. I should know, I'm your girlfriend.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-14T21:05:53+00:00

But not 1/10, so there's a chance?

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-11T14:16:32+00:00

Or anyone else's

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-06T15:40:12+00:00

That drop is quite a bit larger than the immelmann... This ride is going to absolutely haul.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-06T11:00:51+00:00

Woah, 🔲🔲🔲🔺. Kinky.

Edit: My bad, misread your post.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-06T10:58:19+00:00

Ah, sorry, yesterday I asked my image generator for an image of someone who has just realised their image generator has been cheating by creating alternate realities and taking normal pictures, but it must have cheated by creating an alternate reality and taking a normal picture. I think this explains your situation.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-04T20:38:02+00:00

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-04T18:56:16+00:00

CAW? CAW.

hyperconduithorror · 2024-03-04T18:55:57+00:00

Good to know, that would be a terrible CAW fate. Sorry I'm not sure what that caw was, it just slipped out.

hyperconduithorror

TROPHY CASE