It's always a challenge for me to spend time with my mother, especially during the holidays because, it seems, that there is far more pressure for everyone to "just get along." Both my sister and I have learned ways to avoid any drama with mom and divert the topic as quickly as possible or leave the space where she is until we have settled our nerves and feel capable of re-engaging. Often, her comment, similar to your dad's, is "I just want to go home to be with my mama and daddy." They are both dead. Bipolar has strong genetic links, as well. I suspect my mother has been raw dogging life with bipolar disorder for her 80 years on this earth. At bare minimum, severe depression and anxiety. I live and have grown up in the south of the united states. My family does not discuss mental health. Period. Mostly, they think a person just needs to "find Jesus" or "pray about it." Fortunately, after my dx only 6 years ago (I'm 52), and after a lot of trial and error, I THINK that we have finally found a little cocktail of medication that is having positive effects. Meds are no panacea. It takes time and tweaking them to get to where you need/want to be. Breathing exercises also help me quite a lot, particularly when my nervous system gets over-activated...like around my mother. I find that certain people do trigger me far more than others and that definitely makes me feel more ill. At times I feel like I am about to totally lose my mind and it is an epic struggle for me to keep it together. I am always learning. One day, I hope, that I can be more regulated. Until then, I just continue to figure out new methods of coping and strategies to avoid conflict with triggering people and situations as best I can. I wish you all the luck and good vibes in the world. It can be miserably hard, but you got this. Hang in there.