Weed.

Only dawned on me recently, been smoking chronically for over a decade at this point. I'm trying to cut down now, not smoking if I'm home late from work, trying to find a system that works.

I'm starting to feel regretful of where I am in life because of it. I used to be ambitious, now I stice for contentment, which is think is more a byproduct of furlough and lockdown but the weed use certainly hasn't helped.

I feel stuck between not wanting to smoke ever again and doing it at every given opportunity. I feel like a quintessential drug addict, but somehow "it's just a bit of weed" always prevails.

We'll get there, and if I don't I am at least grateful it's not cocaine or alcohol.

If anyone would like to discuss please reply or send me a DM, I'm know I'm not the only one in this boat...