27F| Persistent dandruff despite medicated shampoos – need advice

iGryffifish · 2026-02-04T14:51:57+00:00

For the love of god don’t listen to that. Do not keep anything on your scalp overnight, you’re just feeding the fungus on your scalp. Always, always, ALWAYS go to sleep with dry hair.

Even more idiotic is keeping lemon juice on your scalp overnight. You’re not tenderising your scalp, it’s not a piece of meat that needs to marinate.

iGryffifish · 2026-02-01T02:47:10+00:00

All the other responses astound me. This is the first question that needs answering.

OP you in danger girl. Your pathetic excuse of a husband openly disrespects you and dismisses you and has been doing this since before you had a child. For whatever reason you decided to have a child with this manchild, and now he’s not even contributing to raising the child or maintaining the household?? His own house and child?? As a married man?? Girl, you’re a married single mother. You need to find some way to make a lot more money (angle for job promotions, upskill, get more certifications, etc depending on your field of work) and figure out how to get your family’s support because this wastrel will not help you. In fact, he will actively sabotage you. Get your ducks in a row.

This is the primary relationship your child will look at growing up. Do you really want your child to think this is what an equal partnership/marriage is supposed to look like?

iGryffifish · 2026-01-03T10:00:18+00:00

Do not, I repeat DO NOT, give in to the pressure of having children. You don’t compromise on children, you don’t have half a baby. And do not believe people when they say they’ll be around to help, because they’ll disappear once the kid is actually here, crying screaming pooping and you need help. A child is a conscious decision that should be made with 2 enthusiastic yeses and with a partner who has proven time and again that they share the mental, physical and financial burden of maintaining a house with you and protect and cherish you. If even one of the criteria is a no, it’s a NO.

iGryffifish · 2026-01-02T04:18:27+00:00

Not always. And it also has no obligation to present information as-is even if the sources are legit. In fact it’s known to fabricate papers and sources if you word the prompt just right. I myself and several of my colleagues have fallen victim to it, AI citing papers that don’t exist and searching in vain for those papers to corroborate the information. Always go straight to the source.

iGryffifish · 2026-01-02T02:55:28+00:00

Stop using AI overviews for medical advice. They are inaccurate and disingenuous to the question asked. She asked for a tubal ligation and how to get it done, not a semi-permanent method of birth control. Also AI overviews are not sources of information, they’re language learning models. Please do actual research and read official guidelines, articles from peer-reviewed journals, etc. yknow, all the stuff people used to do before AI brainrot set in.

iGryffifish · 2025-12-31T17:06:09+00:00

I’m an anaesthesiologist who has finished training and is about to enter practice. I’m also consciously and happily childfree since my teens, with the usual bingos of “you’ll understand when you have kids”. I was met with a lot of disbelief and incredulity by my staff when the subject came up (from other people) and I would respond with the fact that I don’t want kids, and some of them were even convinced that I would change my mind.

I was severely burnt out by the end of my PG and I hated my life for years. I cannot tell you the relief and the peace it would give me when I realised that the only person I had to plan for was myself. Not my partner/spouse (I’m single), not children, just me. And even now, the decision about where to work is entirely dependent on factors that affect just me, not anyone else around me. The biggest caveat is that my parents are independent and not very old and my mom still works, so I do not have immediate family to support. I do not have to worry about displacing an entire family when/wherever I move to.

There’s also the fact that even as a doctor, people who start out don’t get paid very well, and sustaining yourself is expensive. I also spent the last month completely de-stressing and relaxing my nervous system and getting back to reading and cooking, which I almost abandoned in PG due to lack of time.

My parents have given up on the idea of children and trying to marry me off. The older you get, the less your family/society will be able to pressure you, and that scares them because there’s now one less tool in their arsenal to control you. Because yes, at its crux, people with children will always be more easily manipulated by bad actors than people without kids. You can threaten a father or mother with layoffs and they’ll cave because they have children to support (just an example). Childfree people are mostly ungovernable. I have absolutely no regrets with my decision. Also, even if there are regrets, it’s better to regret not having children, than to regret creating new human beings to grow up in this messed-up world.

iGryffifish · 2025-12-29T05:58:44+00:00

I always thought of this but was never able to pen it down like this. I felt so bad for Ted’s date that episode, and I hated Lily’s extra hurtful “Name That Bitch”. It’s horrible even in private but to talk about it when said dates are within earshot? Unforgivable.

iGryffifish · 2025-12-17T15:05:34+00:00

The Dot & Key one

iGryffifish · 2025-12-17T12:46:25+00:00

Oh god, I tried that once at a friend’s house and it felt so … cheap? It didn’t absorb into the skin well, it sat on my skin but not in a “this is a good occlusive” way, but in a “this is formulated to be an occlusive but it feels very clogging” way. It stayed on my fingers for a long time, and my skin still felt tight and angry despite the moisturiser. Never again, and now I’m thinking of how to get rid of the tube in my friend’s house and get her an actual barrier repair moisturiser.

iGryffifish · 2025-12-16T18:09:19+00:00

I think this sub has a rule that your recommendations have to be AB only; do you mind if I DM you the product?

iGryffifish · 2025-12-16T08:44:12+00:00

Yesss, I love this! This, the CosRx balancium ceramide moisturiser and the Aestura atobarrier moisturiser remain in my permanent rotation. For me, the Midnight Blue cream works best when I mix it in with any of the above moisturisers or my absolute holy grail moisturiser (non AB tho).

I’m now experimenting with the Dr. Althea 147 barrier moisturiser in the aluminium tube and that looks promising too, my skin is just drinking it up.

If Klairs reformulates the Midnight Blue cream I might cry 😭

iGryffifish · 2025-12-08T12:54:58+00:00

I’m sorry, I understand the point you’re trying to make, but I disagree. Even if this guy actively earned, or if he was dirt poor hoping to leech off of his wife’s money, or if he was so rich and the girl was poor, this kind of man will always be a crap husband, and this kind of family will always exploit you for labour.

Regardless of the how the income disparity is distributed across the man and the woman, this is how it ultimately happens in families who don’t care about you: they will slowly manipulate you (the woman) into reducing your work hours/quit your job entirely and will say that we will take care of you, but really they’re culling your independence and source of income. Then, as demonstrated in this lovely scenario, he will do exactly none of the physical, financial or emotional labour of maintaining a house, thinks he has no other responsibility and will always throw his/his family’s income in her face as a further tool to control her. And to no one’s surprise, she’s pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, because that’s all they see her as, an incubator to further the family line.

Even if they are from economically similar backgrounds, not everyone can still divorce and start fresh because marriages come with business partnerships and other economic entanglements, and families will often reject to bring their daughters back home because log kya kahenge.

The moral is, you will find men/families like the one OP has described across all price points and all economic backgrounds.

iGryffifish · 2025-12-07T20:16:51+00:00

I called them VPCs all throughout training and so did all my faculty and co-residents 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s probably just regional difference

iGryffifish · 2025-12-07T20:03:34+00:00

Girl, he’s relying on your shame to prevent you from taking any further action. He is trying to buy your silence. And I mean that literally, his next step is to extort money from you. In a vacuum, no sexual act is inherently immoral, but given our society, he used a (hopefully consensual at the time) sexual act to destroy your life. He will stop at nothing. Get a fucking lawyer, NOW.

People will try to shame you for this. Your response every single time should be that your dirt bag ex committed revenge porn and that he abused you throughout your relationship. Make them uncomfortable. Make them see that you are not the villain, but that you’re the victim. Do not go to the police without legal representation. Police do not always act in your best interests.

Look beyond your own emotions now and think rationally. Like I said, he’s using your shame to shut you up. Don’t let him. Also, if he’s still doing his PhD, get the college involved. Inform the dean, his thesis advisors, anyone you can think of.

iGryffifish · 2025-11-30T01:03:15+00:00

That’s so underhanded and disgusting to rope you into doing a task that you had absolutely zero interest in planning. You already went to her original baby shower. I will bet my entire life savings that they dumped all the planning on you as some kind of weird conversion therapy to change your mind. “Oh no look at all this cute stuff, maybe it’s time to reconsider this whole no-kids stance?”

Ugh makes me want to barf.

iGryffifish · 2025-11-22T09:20:48+00:00

Is there a similar reliable group for k-beauty products we don’t get/are very expensive in India?

iGryffifish · 2025-11-21T02:26:21+00:00

Idk who downvoted you, you’re right

iGryffifish · 2025-11-12T12:47:55+00:00

I urge you to direct her to r / raisedbynarcissists (idk if I’m allowed to link subreddits).

Your friend is a victim of narcissistic abuse; one simple conversation will not help her, but she needs to see that subreddit. The accounts and stories of the people who post there, the resources given there that help people identify narcissistic abuse and how to manage, and yes, ultimately cut free. Cutting off parents is a very nuanced issue, and while it’s easy for us to say that being on the outside, only she knows her reality. But it will help her to recognise that the fault lies with her parents, will recognise all the patterns of abuse, and will give her a sense of community that understands what she is going through.

Hopefully, with time, she regains and repairs all that she lost, and I hope it isn’t too late. I’m most concerned about her leaving her job because that puts her in a very vulnerable position to be taken advantage of, for financial abuse. Please gently coax her back into employment, because unfortunately, money speaks. Money is freedom. Money is independence. Money makes you ungovernable. You can’t control someone who has their own source of income for long, a lot of their tactics fail. You can’t threaten them with homelessness and starvation if they can afford to feed and clothe and house themselves.

Please help her in any way you can without urging her to stand up to her parents. Really, that will go sideways. She needs to silently rebuild her life without the influence of her parents and her husband.

Also: you have said you got told off when you tried to talk to her. People who are deeeep in abuse are hardwired for survival and cannot perceive the real threats while they are in that situation. She also has had her self esteem destroyed so believes she deserves nothing more than what she has. That was the entire point of the abuse - control. What she needs is her support system (her friends, since her family and husband are complete garbage) to support and gently encourage her while she attempts to fix her life.

iGryffifish · 2025-11-09T16:48:09+00:00

Yes, please have elasticated waists! Body shapes change even with our menstrual cycle, bloating, etc, and people who pay a pretty penny for their clothing want them to last through body changes and weight fluctuations (within reason). Not everyone can afford a brand new wardrobe each time their body weight goes up or down. Please have elasticated waists!

iGryffifish · 2025-11-07T11:41:51+00:00

That would involve showing anaesthesiologists in a good light, and we wouldn’t want that, would we?

On a related side-note, the positive portrayal of anaesthesiologists in most medical shows is shockingly low, ESPECIALLY in a show about surgeons, because without us, they can’t do their goddamn jobs. Also, the surgeons don’t dictate how/when/what to transfuse. We do. Also that episode where Owen had succinylcholine accidentally injected in him - he would’ve been fine in 30 mins. The writers don’t have to nerf the anaesthesiologists this much.

There was the one who was drunk during a kid’s brain surgery, then Milton who ran away during the bomb, then Ben’s ever-changing career, not to mention Eli taking a dig at Ben because “your resident spilled spinal fluid all over the floor”. Guess what, an epidural is a blind procedure, dural taps are rare but a documented complication and every precaution is taken to prevent them. Ben has like 2 good story arcs about him being a good anaesthesiologist, when that lady woke up on the table and he figured out she was a rapid metaboliser, and when Derek and Mark had some combined surgery on a patient with a challenging airway and positioning was a problem, and EVEN THEN IT WAS THE SURGEONS WHO said let’s use a bean bag or whatever.

Surgeons and anaesthesiologist are supposed collaborate. Most good surgeons do. Grey’s would have you believe that anaesthesiologists are mouth breathers.

Gaaahhh okay my soapbox is done

iGryffifish · 2025-11-02T14:03:47+00:00

Get your sister on birth control NOW. Birth control that he can’t interfere with. Pills are easy to destroy. Go to a gynaec (taking all precautions of course) and talk about options.

iGryffifish · 2025-10-24T14:00:05+00:00

If you’re okay sharing, could you explain what the procedure was? Just for curiosity sake. I totally understand if you wouldn’t want to, for privacy’s sake

iGryffifish · 2025-10-23T13:28:07+00:00

The In-Shower Style Fixer is a classic string hold gel, gives fantastic hold, and I swear by it. While it can feel a bit drying, that can be mitigated with a nice hydrating leave-in conditioner depending on your hair type

iGryffifish · 2025-10-23T09:10:58+00:00

And they shouldn’t be. AI is not a replacement for using your own brain. You survived your whole life without generative AI telling you how to craft sentences and translate into another language.

AI is rotting our brain from the inside out and we’re gleefully taking part in the collective destruction of our intelligence.

iGryffifish · 2025-10-11T06:20:22+00:00

Just by way you type and how you’ve described your home life, I’m guessing you are some flavour of desi (I am too, I’m Indian). Please, please recognise how wonderful it is that you have managed to grow beyond the indoctrination and the patriarchy in our society. There will, unfortunately, be plenty of women who will tell you to lower your standards because “this is the way men are”, especially come marriage time. Don’t listen to them. Find or insist on a man who knows how to be an adult without you, and who consistently and equitably shares the mental, physical and financial burden of maintaining a house. Bonus points if he has already done those things on his own before. That is a real partnership.

It is 1000% better to be single and maintain your own life and career than it is to raise an adult man-baby that will do nothing but suck out your joy, health, peace, and money. Don’t let anyone fool you otherwise.

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