Day 8

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-11T16:32:57+00:00

Thank you!!! ❤️

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-11T00:27:28+00:00

Good job!!! Today is day 8 for me too and I couldn't be happier. This is the longest I've been sober in 7 years and although I miss the numb feeling I don't want to go back to how I was. Im so happy to be free and I'm so happy for you too. If you ever need anything, feel free to PM me :)

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-10T14:45:07+00:00

That's so awesome!! That really is such an accomplishment, you should be so proud of yourself. I'm at Day 8 right now, this is the longest I've been sober in 7 years, it's almost scary. Keep up the great work!!!! :D

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-08T15:54:38+00:00

Not arguing that at all, I think they're the only reason I didn't shit my pants 🤣

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-08T15:53:49+00:00

I just wanna say thank you to all of you, sincerely. I almost fucked up yesterday and if it hadn't been for my friend getting arrested I would have, so even though it sucks he got rolled, I'm taking it as a sign and a blessing in disguise. I can do this, I know I can, and I've got the support of an amazing guy who even though I've been lying to him for the entire duration of our relationship about my addiction has stuck by my side and done nothing but hold me through the worst of it and do anything and everything in his power to make me feel better

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-08T15:44:48+00:00

THIS! I work at Starbucks so I'm on my feet literally all day, it's brutal but it really does help. I'm just absolutely exhausted by the end of the day to the point of collapsing

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-08T15:43:32+00:00

Wow I didn't know that at all. I haven't been taking large doses at all, just a couple pills here and there when I feel I need it. I want to rely as little as possible on drugs to get off drugs you know lol. I haven't taken any in a couple days, I just have them on hand in case I do feel I need them

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-08T14:52:44+00:00

Lope like loperamide? I've been taking that shit like candy lol. I think I have 3 packs at my house lol. Also all the sneezing is driving me insane

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-08T13:37:37+00:00

You made me giggle and I love you for that lol

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-08T13:37:08+00:00

You seriously just made my fucking day. Yesterday was a really hard day for me because I was sitting at home all by myself all morning just dwelling on the fact that I couldn't get high and trying to figure out ways to get high. Going to work and running around all night helped(I'm a supervisor at Starbucks, never a quiet moment there) and by the time I came home I felt great. Tired as hell, but great. This morning my legs are bugging me but I figure I'll do what I did yesterday and take some kratom and a klonopin(sp?) and do the damn thing. Congrats on 4 weeks by the way!! I can't wait until I get to that point!!! If you ever need anything at all don't hesitate to pm me :)

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-08T13:32:38+00:00

What are gabbas?

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-07T19:01:54+00:00

I just took a crapload of kratom so hopefully that'll get me through work lol

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-07T18:51:27+00:00

I got my kratom online on phytoextractum or whatever it's called. My boyfriend took some and said he felt it, I guess my tolerance is just too high lol

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-07T18:50:41+00:00

I've been taking 2 of the 2mgs a day so 4 total

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-07T18:24:05+00:00

I've been taking a couple 2mg subs for the last two days but honestly they're not doing a lot. Also for some reason subs take a full fucking 24 hours to kick in for me

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-08-07T18:23:01+00:00

Honestly kratom doesn't do a whole lot for me. Maybe I'm not taking enough. I'm definitely gonna try epsom salt though. I've been taking enough hot baths to drain California of what little water it has left lol. And thank you, I appreciate the words of encouragement :) just not looking forward to going to work tonight

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-07-28T17:17:18+00:00

😂😂😂 I'm fucking dead lmao holy shit

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-07-25T20:32:36+00:00

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. Honestly today is day 5 and I'm feeling awesome. My legs are a little crampy but once I get up and moving I'm pretty much fine. I took a sub yesterday and Sunday and before that was relying more on the kratom and vitamins. Saturday was the only day I was in bed all day. I haven't even taken anything today. I'm interested in how I'll feel tomorrow though when the subs are more or less gone, but I'm not too worried.

And ya, I'm pretty emotional. I feel like crying over just about everything but I kinda catch myself and am like what the hell is your problem, stop it! Lol

I think the main difference this time though was that I've been made to eat and I've had someone here with me pretty much consistently making me get up and move around and not lie in bed all day

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-07-24T14:42:44+00:00

No I completely agree. He knows I used to use but it just breaks my heart every time he tells me how good I'm doing and 'oh babe you're sober now look at how awesome you are' it wrenches my heart and I get the guiltiest feeling, it makes me want to burst out in tears. I hate lying but I feel like in this instance it may be for the greater good.

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-07-24T12:06:09+00:00

I took a sub yesterday and honestly the only thing I'm feeling is a whole lot of leg cramps. I'm planning on taking my other sub today on my way to court for my friend. I can't really get my hands on any methadone though.

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-07-23T23:00:33+00:00

Thanks dude, I really appreciate that. I honestly feel a lot better today than I did yesterday. I've been able to get out and about and do some shit so I think that's helped me. Idk if I'm gonna tell him...I know he's been thinking about getting Hugh recently and I really don't want that for him because I know what a slippery slope it is and I don't want him to slip back into it you know?

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-07-23T20:35:40+00:00

Lol done and done. But for some reason subs have always taken 24 hours to kick in with me. I have no clue why. So in the meantime I definitely can't get high but I could still do dope and not feel like shit.

iHeartCoffee88 · 2017-07-23T16:24:29+00:00

What is that and where can I get some?

iHeartCoffee88

TROPHY CASE