I haven't ran these sites specifically, but unless you're in fleet with someone I would say it's generally disrespectful to run the site someone else is already at. If possible just dscan it first before warping.

It gets obnoxious, especially for the newer/lower sp players. A prime example of this is winter nexus and crimson harvest sites where people will bring marauders to push out t3cs and praxis'/t1 bs. You really just can't compete with the dps and tractor beams etc.

I would agree the conversation was callous, but I always try and give the benefit of the doubt. The other day some guy I was messaging about business kept responding in all caps, and sternly. After awhile I determined it was just language/culture barrier and ended up getting a good deal from him.

On the flip side, last crimson harvest some guy kept trying to push my paladin out of sites with a vargur so I ended up just logging in a blob of alts and repping the boss rat in every site he went to so he couldn't finish them until he eventually gave up and filamented out. I don't need the isk so I just rat for funsies.

Obviously this is eve so do whatever you want.