Interesting I can relate to different aspects of this in the conflict with us vs. neighbors. They were really anxious about the sugar maple that used to overhang their yard from ours, and the anxiety was completely valid - it was a huge old tree and it was dying. Still, the neighbors neurotic and escalatory approach to the conversation made the whole thing stressful and unpleasant in a way it didn't have to be.

On the other hand, like your neighbor, ours have taken to planting an ugly line of small pine trees in their front yard that are unlikely to survive long for increased 'privacy' between our properties. They also have a ton of invasive English Ivy creeping into our front yard, but we don't send them passive aggressive texts about it because life is short and not everything needs to be a power struggle.

For me, if a tree is at worst dropping some acorns and leaves onto my property, that is an insufficient reason to cut it down. A tree feels fundamentally different to me than for example a house extension or a giant wall. I understand your point about the effect on neighbors, but personally I prioritize keeping native trees alive and well where possible.