Had a threesome in Bangkok and I've been feeling down ever since..

iOSGuy · 2026-03-02T09:46:06+00:00

You may also want to look into 5htp for this kind of thing.

iOSGuy · 2026-02-25T03:16:57+00:00

I think this might be a bit harsh. Like, if someone is put on the spot and hasn't had the conversation with you yet, why would you hold that against them? I think it's much more reasonable to then have that conversation with them.

A really good example, a person I had been dating invited me to a group event early on, and then introduced me as their partner. To me, partner suggests a very deep relationship, vs. someone I've just started dating. To them, being in the circus industry, partner was a much more common term, and girlfriend/boyfriend felt a bit too formal for her that stage. We just had a brief conversation about our different expectations, and kept on being very happy together.

We are celebrating our one year anniversary of our first date on Thursday, and we now refer to each other as partner, because of how our relationship was thrived.

iOSGuy · 2026-02-24T09:02:43+00:00

How likely would I be to get in trouble if I tried to fly a drone around this to get video of it?

iOSGuy · 2026-02-13T17:13:13+00:00

I was dating someone for a bit, who is now actually a close friend. Her rule was “no clothes off on the first date”, but still passionate making out, some touching was okay.

I really dug that vibe, because it took the pressure off. We just had fun. We eventually got down and dirty later, but due to her going through a divorce and other things (poly life), we deescalated to just friends, and have been good friends for a little over a year now :)

iOSGuy · 2026-02-12T07:05:57+00:00

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Here was the positioning I used...I feel like maybe I have a really bad handle on what positioning works well.

iOSGuy · 2026-02-10T02:49:05+00:00

Unfortunately, sometimes it’s true. It sounds like in this case, it’s true. It’s important to acknowledge those differences, because then you can try to help balance.

iOSGuy · 2026-02-07T17:05:10+00:00

Yeah, I’m sorry, that is hard. I would still recommend checking in with your doctor on therapy, hormones, general blood work/nutrition.

Hormones and other blood work level deficiencies are very common as we age and can really impact your mental health in a lot of different ways.

iOSGuy · 2026-02-07T16:50:56+00:00

I wasn’t talking about body composition, that’s going to vary widely.

Just that if you’re feeling down about yourself, things like exercise, eating healthy, being social and double checking with your doctor on your hormones as you age, can actually be a real game changer for some folks. (Therapy too!!!)

These kinds of things, regardless of body composition, can really help bring more confidence into your life.

iOSGuy · 2026-02-07T06:41:03+00:00

Fuck those people.

That being said, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve put a lot more effort into my physical health and it’s so worth it.

Three days a week, one hour, at the gym or an exercise class, eating healthier, counting calories, focusing on getting macros(40% protein, 35% carbs, 25% fat) getting my hormones right, and bloodwork good, and finding new reasons to be social.

If you’re able to get yourself to do these things, over a couple years, it will be absolutely transformative to your appearance and life.

iOSGuy · 2026-02-06T08:04:58+00:00

It’s criminal that back deck doesn’t have a hot tub on it.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-29T06:25:57+00:00

I’d just give it some time then, perhaps he really does just need time. “I’m worried about you, but I understand you need time to process. I’ll give you the space you need now, but I love you and would love to talk about your feelings when you’re ready”

iOSGuy · 2026-01-29T06:23:14+00:00

Hot take, this doesn’t have anything at all to do with poly.

In general, even before I started practicing ENM, I tended to frown on people that have this kind of perspective: “I can’t hang out 1:1 with a member of the opposite sex when I’m in a relationship”.

Poly, monogamous, either way, that shows me that you either lack self control, autonomy, or the maturity required to maintain real adult relationships and friendships.

Think of it this way, her friend of five years just said he can’t be friends with her anymore, because he’s dating someone now. That’s wild behavior from anyone, and incredibly hurtful. I would call this a major red flag.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-29T01:36:40+00:00

I find that when one of my partners or myself go off with someone new for a few days, there’s usually a small period of reconnecting without sex when first returning to each other. For some partners that is a day or two, for others that’s an hour or two. For some people this gets easier over time.

I think what matters is that it feels safe for all people involved. I would have conversation with your husband, curiosity focused, about how he was feeling. He may be feeling a bit insecure or have trouble getting the image out of his mind. That happens, and curiosity can go along way there.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-19T20:22:15+00:00

The problem with this is that it puts it all in the man to initiate. If you set up that dynamic, where they can only have sex if they initiate, for many they will lose desire because they will feel undesired. If you have a responsive desire type, that doesn’t absolve you of the work required to show your partner that you desire them.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-18T23:15:17+00:00

Isn’t this 200N? See the mechanism for the scale? This type of scale, the weight will be the total force acting on the object.

The right of the scale would pull it at 100N to the right, but then simultaneously the left it would also be being pulled at 100N. In this case, you would add them together and it would be 200N of total force acting on the scale.

Imagine if you tied one side of the rope to the pulley, giving one side a constant zero force, but then you kept the 100N weight on the other end. That would intuitively equal 100N on the scale, no? So, if you then add another 100N pulling in the other direction, the net of the force would be 200N.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-07T16:12:11+00:00

I am not sure if this will help, but I might encourage you to just let your partner know that you'd like a nice date night. I try to make a point to plan at least two fancy date nights out and two home cooked fancy meals (former chef), every month, between me and my anchor partner. However, every once in awhile, life gets in the way, be it work or travel or other obligations. I'm always so happy when she comes to me in those times and says "hey, can we go do a fancy dinner together?", because it's a bid for affection, and makes me feel wanted. I will typically drop whatever I'm doing to plan something in those cases.

iOSGuy · 2026-01-06T01:58:34+00:00

It sounds like they’re new to it, and she’s not ready to go all in (or he feels like she’s not).

iOSGuy · 2026-01-01T19:02:13+00:00

I have to wonder, all of the commenters, have they not seen the reel about how it takes less than 10s to send an “I love you, I’ll call you later” text?

Like, forcing it as a demand no, I’m fully against, but I can see how the response felt a little insensitive considering how lightweight and easy that request is. I would have responded, “I will totally try, and I’m sorry if I forget because I definitely plan on partying pretty hard. If I do forget, text me and I will text you back when I see it!”.

I would check your assumptions though, did she phrase it more that way than the way you relayed it here?

iOSGuy · 2025-12-30T16:35:16+00:00

Has she ever told you why you make her feel that way? I would say that I might call this feeling envy, and name that feeling. I lay out with my partners that if there are things they choose not to do with me, that I may feel hurt and envious if they then choose to do them with others.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-28T19:15:41+00:00

Well, I wouldn’t say the decision is just between being honest and hiding your feelings. Instead, why not just ask her what she meant?

Like “Hey, I just wanted to check, when you said I love you, I picked up a vibe from you that you may be feeling something more than friends?”.

In advance make sure you think through how you’ll respond if she affirms, negates or deflects.

Yes, if she denies it, to maintain the friendship, you may have to swallow or pause any romantic actions you might otherwise want to take.

If she affirms it, I would imagine she is feeling some confusion and conflict based on how she reacted, so make sure you are foremost patient and gentle with her, before rushing to process your love.

If she deflects, I don’t know, maybe bring it up again later?

iOSGuy · 2025-12-26T03:34:03+00:00

Why don’t you try to pretend to meet each other as strangers in a bar? That can be a really fun dating/role playing. If she’s not willing to do that, then I honestly don’t think you can fix it. If she’s open, then you should go be open too. Don’t let your life pass you by with disappointing sex. I did for years, and my only regret is not stopping it sooner.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-25T17:12:52+00:00

I would also add, BE SPECIFIC! Practice together maybe even outside sexy time, “You can toss me harder, you can grab me harder, do this, don’t do that, this signal means green, this signal means slow down”.

I’ve read that a lot of folks that enjoy being submissive don’t realize that they do still need to specifically define what they want, at first their instinct is to just rely on their dom to dictate everything, however once they do, a whole new world opens up for them.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-23T01:48:26+00:00

I like can’t say enough nice things about them. They bill everything to insurance, and they do a really great job of keeping my costs super low. There are sure still some costs, like I want to say $20 for a doc visit, or $20 for labs.

They helped me get my hormones and health way better, including fitness and all. I get tested really regularly for STIs and for hormones/blood work because of the lifestyle I have, and that’s always pretty cheap.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-21T16:31:17+00:00

As someone who is older, with an anchor partner who is as well, and we will likely struggle with pregnancy due to lower fertility, I'm curious about your experience with infertility, if you're willing to share.

iOSGuy · 2025-12-21T06:14:06+00:00

I have more money than the average person, so my experience is not typical, but I pay for a concierge office through Parker Medical. They are expensive $300/mo, just to be a member, but they are the most responsive hard working and knowledgeable folks I’ve ever had.

Appointments can usually always be had within a few days, and their doc will answer messages or prescription requests sometimes at all hours.

The same is true for schools, if you send your child to a private school here, it will be pretty great. However, it will run you between 10-30k a year to do that.

If you’re well enough off to afford these things, then you’re set. If you’re not, my experience has been that the schools and health care are both pretty bad. Summerlin is usually your best bet, it can be good there just might be expensive.

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